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GEORGE.B
05 Jan 23 11:33
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Date Joined: 14 Jul 04
| Topic/replies: 66,435 | Blogger: GEORGE.B's blog
1. Hands and heels

2. Fallon's whistle

Pay the six-time champion the big bucks to teach all jocks how to whistle like he did.

3. At about the 2f pole, get the ambulance driver to drive alongside the field while simultaneously bibbing his horn and shouting "RUN YA LAZY B@STARDS".

4. Get off and push...though it might be an idea for the jocks to wear shin pads

5. Make illegal buzzing devices legal

6. Get the assistant starter to ride in a golf buggy behind the field while revving the engine and cracking his whip

7. Make blinkers compulsory for all runners

8. Don't use real horses, get two people to wear a horse costume

9. Administer some ginger to the horses' rear ends

10. At approximately the furlong pole, start blasting the Rawhide theme song

I'm sure we can all agree, an absolutely flawless top 10 with no shocking omissions.
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Report formoftheace January 5, 2023 11:40 AM GMT
Laugh
Report GEORGE.B January 5, 2023 11:46 AM GMT
11. Air shots only permitted - as perfected by some northern-based jockeys circa 10 /15 years ago
Report formoftheace January 5, 2023 12:08 PM GMT
Dean….nice bloke…
Report GEORGE.B January 5, 2023 12:15 PM GMT
12. Allow the pulling out of ear plugs...though this might have more of an effect when there is a half-decent-sized crowd in attendance.

And then we'd have to hope that the horses don't turn around and run away from from the stands.
Report swiftynifty January 5, 2023 12:30 PM GMT
GEORGE.B, some good solutions there. 'IF' as we are led to believe the whip doesn't hurt, in fact the horse doesn't even feel it, then only the jockey in last place should be allowed to use it to create the noise needed to keep those in front moving forward.

Or, the whip does indeed hurt and a number has been identified that's deemed acceptable, go over and a total DQ and lengthy ban should put the matter to bed. But once again far too vague, down to interpretation of race day stewards, minimal DQs etc etc, the saga continues.

I'll put it out there now, if he's involved in a close finish again at Cheltenham this year, Paddy Mullins will break the whip rules yet again.
Report GEORGE.B January 5, 2023 12:58 PM GMT
swifty, he might go 3 over the limit, but suspect most of them will have learnt to count to 9 by the time the new DQ rule comes in.

Certainly in prestigious races, anyway, but if it's a gamble that's on the line, then one or two more over the outer limit might be necessary to land the money.
Report acey deucy January 5, 2023 1:36 PM GMT
Just ban the thing, yes carry one in case some lunatic of a horse wants to run through a rail...You know it's coming down the line... it's the times we are living in.Plain
Report FOYLESWAR January 5, 2023 2:13 PM GMT
fraudy said ......spanking paddle
Report DIFERENT GRAVY 12 January 5, 2023 2:15 PM GMT
Spurs
Report screaming from beneaththewaves January 5, 2023 4:26 PM GMT
Carrots are a shocking omission, whether magic ones in the racecourse stables before the race, or a conventional one attached to the front of a horse's bridle during it.
Report screaming from beneaththewaves January 5, 2023 4:29 PM GMT
Frankel attempts 12 furlongs:

[   This image is no longer available.   ]
Report acey deucy January 5, 2023 5:28 PM GMT
Laugh
Report swiftynifty February 9, 2023 12:22 AM GMT
France reducing whip strikes to four maximum.

If you believe our jockeys then their racing will collapse, it cannot be done. Or can it , let's wait and see.

But France Galop are also fearful of going down the DQ route.

Is it really too difficult to say if you break the rules you are chucked out?

A simple number and a clear punishment for the wee men to get their heads around.
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