Lockdown? Fish and Chips?

No experts on here then on fish n chips? I tried boiling the batter in fat and sticking it on the fish with flour but it didn't work. It was dangerous too, because the fat that was the batter was a different fat and didn't like the chip pan.

boiling the batter ?

Go to Youtube and type fish and chips in the search box. Pick a celebrity chef.

Gordon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zit9l5jtbws
Heston: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr3Rrzrv8vU
Marco: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6vwaRDsYk8
Jamie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVUDKy4OmOo
Other chefs are available.

Serious point: there are some great instructional videos about almost anything on Youtube these days.

BUT what I shall so in a couple of hours is walk down the road to my local chippy and hand over £9.20 for medium cod and small chips, or rather not hand it over because no-one wants to handle cash any more so I'll wave my card near their reader and then wait outside for 10 minutes while they kill any lingering Corona viruses in boiling oil.

...what I shall *do* :( What I shall not do is proof-read before pressing the blue button.

That was nightmare. When I boiled the batter and put it into the fat, I had to call Frank, the next door neighbour.

Ramruma, I don't want to pay for my meals, as the they may have the virus. I have a fridge full of the stuff in the basement.

you put the batter on the fish and then into the oil

Yes, it quite exploded. Luckily I was in a protection covo suit and it melted at my belly button. My belly did protrude a bit.

This thread must be a wind up.

Not at all. The girlfriend, when she comes again will have to avoid the BJ as it will shave my burnt belly button.

Where on earth did you find a blow up beaver?

what is a chip pan cutter


is this what the lower classes use ?

look into a deep fat fryer , there may be a government grant available

Apr 19, 2020 -- 12:05PM, saddo wrote:

Where on earth did you find a blow up beaver?

Saddo, again, struggling for a joke.

Apr 19, 2020 -- 12:10PM, hello :-) wrote:

what is a chip pan cutter is this what the lower classes use ?look into a deep fat fryer , there may be a government grant available

I come from a council estate, pal, and the chip pan is very well understood, unlike the idiot in you.

now you mention it i think i remember my granny using the term

but thanks for your courteous reply

The chip pan was used by my grandad to grease his teddy bear hair. He used to say, 'Not too many burnt and black chips in it. Comb them out.' My granny would comb them out and tell him to ****offout.

Try freezing the batter and fish (together if you could). Then encase them in filo pastry, and fried in hot oil (not cold). Bob's your uncle. This was a trade secret from my local fish'n'chippy, a Mr Cumani.

The best fish n' chips are when you can hear the first crunch of the fish, and then the slow and hot batter enters the mouth. You bite deeper and feel and taste the warmer fish inside.

Apr 19, 2020 -- 12:30PM, impossible123 wrote:

Try freezing the batter and fish (together if you could). Then encase them in filo pastry, and fried in hot oil (not cold). Bob's your uncle. This was a trade secret from my local fish'n'chippy, a Mr Cumani.

Ah, Thanks. This is what I did wrong. I froze the fish with water and then poured batter on it and dunked into steaming red hot oil when it nearly exploded.

Thanks, but for Sunday night, I'm throwing a spring chicken in the microwave and going to have some toast with milk in it.

Are you cooking a midget chicken? Don't forget to put a lid on it as it could explode if setting is too high. Maybe it's best to leave the door ajar to prevent an explosion. Better still go down to your local chippie just around the corner.

Don't preach to me, pal, as the maid left last week, and I've cooked all the spring chickens and added Bhut Jolok to kill the virus. Beware, though, a side effect.

I,m not a batter or chip shop man and like it in breadcrumbs but nice edible boxed fish from supermarketrs are few and far between, the in laws swear by Sainsbury,s own cod loin,its ok but that's about it,might have to give marks and sparks a go,as for the rest no chance

I don't really care for the fresh fish from the market as I knew my uncle used to boast, 'I've handled the wife's fish and now deliver the fish.'

You have to be careful now.

Is it a wet fish? Was it green around the gills? Be careful, if so.

All the fillets were removed, sir.

Extel handicap filthy Luca.

I have now learnt to dip the fish three times in the batter and swing the beast on the second dump. This has to be done in the sink.