whats mark winstanley up to these days??

Dont  know,probably thinking up some new Cockney rhyming slang

modelling shell suits for Sergio or Puma and poster boy for Greggs, think he gives out his certs for Coral in house so he doesn't get much of an audience.

Plucking a duck.

probably down the battle cruiser having a few  pigs ears  talking to some wagon shunters !

he will probably get the gig at some of the chelt previews, i quite like the bloke !adds  some comedy to them !

did the thai bird give him the spanish archer

Ronnie regal the caring illegal, hanging like Albert pierrepoint,fencing like a blind musketeer. The man is a huge loss to racing journalism

I heard he had become a professional Harry Findlay lookalike

He used to post on here. Slagged off the mighty Deep Impact. Deservedly banned as a result.

I saw him in The Queens Stand at Epsom wearing a tracksuit and trainers several years ago, he had some Thai bird in tow. Trainers in The Queens Stand? Honestly, I ask you. That aside he totally grated on me with his mockneyisms.

On a Monday in the Post you had "The Couch" now you have "Birchy." How lucky are/were we?

Would take Winstanley before that tool Birch everyday.

he's in eastenders

Will be at Haddock tomorrow ,ask him anything you like....

deffo livens up those cheltenham previews , when asked about the champion chase a few seasons ago the couch said "i wouldnt say its a bad race but they have seen money for the ambulance each way !

^^^

What is funny about that exactly? A childish remark in my opinion.

depends on ya sense of humour i suppose made me chuckle and most of the audience !

Made me smile Foyle. Guess if your hatred is that strong you'd not find it funny though.

My dad was a Cockney and I never heard him use any of that apples & pears nonsense

Fair enough FOYLESWAR but I don't do 'puerile' personally.

ok slippy each to his own !

Sounds like a night out with Slippy would be less fun than one with you (or Winstanley) Foyle!

Slightly obscure sense of humour,mine is drier than most,I doubt he meant to cause offence.

I've got a very dry sense of humour, inane soundbites just doesn't 'do' it for me. That's me, take it or leave it.

i can understand if he dislikes the couch ,i have a similar take on  alan carr ! and cant smile at anything he says !

Throwaway remark that probably doesn’t resonate too well when reiterated on a social media platform.

I don't like Winstanley either but that's a pretty inoffensive 'joke' imo.

Too right Mick

I remember it because I backed the ambulance, with the magic siren, it finished last.

I tried to back the ambulance too but was restricted to 13 pence EW.

shoulda greened up on the blues and twos

ambulance chasers

What was offensive about the joke, he makes the point that something that is always last is good enough to get a place in that poor field, quite witty I thought.

made me smile

Witty and Winstanley is an oxymoron.

getting his money giving out quick one-line race tips for ok corral

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfnCZhSfwOI

the 2.15 is a 2m 4f handicap chase where I fancy the favourite
the 2.25 is a 3m novice hurdle where the jolly will be hard to beat
the 2.40 is a 2m handicap hurdle where the favourite looks to be the 1 to be on
the 2.55 is a 3m 2f handicap chase and again its the jolly for me
the 3.10 is a 2m 3f novice chase in which the favourite has solid claims
and finally the 3.20 is a 2m 6f handicap hurdle where a win for the jolly is the most likely outcome

MFOR
money for old rope

Easiest bit of Solomon Burke going.

Joe Corals, no morals.

and always a quarrel

he'll be putting highlights in his hair

The Couch brightened up many a Festival Preview evening with his jokes. A personal favourite was when he dismissed Irving's chances in the Supreme on the grounds that most of his form was on pancake flat tracks in Germany. "I blame Bomber Harris" was the throwaway line.

cik ,i am sure there are some more out there !any more of couches gems anyone !

His best bits are always when he gets steam coming out of Nicholl's ears

yes duffy pumkin dont look over enamoured with the couch !

McCoy Carp    16 Feb 18 21:35 
My dad was a Cockney and I never heard him use any of that apples & pears nonsense






You don't hear much of it these days but certainly did in the 50s and 60s when I grew up in the East End.

Could I think of where my Dad was born? It's finally come to me, Forest Gate, although he spent most of his early life Kingston/Surbiton before going off to war. Maybe that's why he never used any Cockney rhyming slang and truth be told you would never of known he was a Cockney. When I went to register his death, I'm sure the Registrar said something along the lines that Forest Gate, which was registered on his birth certificate didn't exist anymore and it was now the Borough of Newham - or something like that.

Remember him describing a horse as Hans Blix " came there and found nothing " 

first time I met the couch I was coming back from a very bad royal ascot about 6 years ago, sat on the train from ascot to waterloo just thinking to myself I have about a score in coins and a pony in notes the bf account was empty and I was dreading the bill of my indy on the following Tuesday, naturally I wasn't in the best of moods, then who comes and sits beside me but the couch, as were leaving ascot station he's on the blower to his pals about his brill week telling them how sir Michael had told him this would win and Aidan had said this was a cert, I'm thinking this is all I need.

By the time we reach Sunningdale I had learnt every cockney rhyming in the book, and by Richmond I was his best china, he said to me what time is your iron lady up north so I told him 9.30, he said where are going as you have time to kill I said I don't know give us a suggestion, he came back with "get a taxi to the Ritz it will cosy u a pony there's a lovely bar there and you will be with your own" but I thought to myself there's people under waterloo bridge with more wedge than me, I got of at waterloo and got the tube to kings cross ended up putting the pound coins in a jar at the flying Scotsman.

awful week at ascot but a hilarious time with the couch, nice bloke.

I've known one or two hacks and tipsters who are a delight in print or in front of the camera, but just pains in the backside once you get to know them at the racecourse.

Winstanley's almost unique in that he's completely the other way round.

remember him dismissing istabraqs chances before his final champion hurdle saying there was more chance of will young getting a fathers day card than istabraq winning

He probably used the same gag about Tom Daley.

I'm still bitter that I followed his advice and backed Kind for the 1000. Wish I'd kept faith in the family...

I went to Naas on the sat then Leopardstown on the sun with him,sat night in Dublin and the couch pulled up lame at the half way stage.seriously though he,s a genuine top guy,oi oi the couch.

I blame Bomber Harris nearly wet my pants laughing that is simply the best.

he puts up 4 tips a day in the irish daily star does ok to be fair alway entertaining to read

The Couch has been participating in this year's Festival Preview circus.  Here are a few of his "observations":

"Claimantakinforgan pulls more than Rolf Harris at a scout camp".

"Petit Mouchoir sweats like an alsation outside a Koran restaurant".

"Yorkhill more confused than Grayson Perry".

"Nicky Henderson knows more about what it takes to win the Triumph than Terry Waite does about Lebanese radiators".

bdo nowadays  ,, his wife plays as well

The restaurant is Korean imo.

Correct.

Oops!

love his one liners made me smile.

I don’t know who Grayson Perry is but the other 3 are amusing.

Screaming discription is pretty accurate

Cockyneee fat bloke who thinks he spouts clever/ funny  one liners.
He doesn't .

That doesn’t narrow it down much facts

the couch will be on the coral preview evening on sunday 6.30 till 8.30
nick luck and s Claire will also be on
regards
Ronnie.

What's the couch up to nowadays?

https://youtu.be/mvf_Mg1p0sA

More returns than Amazon our Mark

Looks to have lost weight

"Hes got more chins than a Singapore telephone directory"

Just another con artist that this industry seems to welcome.

Never minded him to be hoenest.

Seen him at the Arc years ago, might have been Sea the Stars? Saw this bloke with one of those long baguetts and he's preceded to take out all the salad stuff and toss it on the floor. Thought to myself what a t**t and low and behold it was The Couch!

Very good judge and can be hilarious - a unique combination.
Should be a regular on racing TV channels.

Cash Is King    07 Mar 18 15:08 
The Couch has been participating in this year's Festival Preview circus.  Here are a few of his "observations":

"Claimantakinforgan pulls more than Rolf Harris at a scout camp".

"Petit Mouchoir sweats like an alsation outside a Koran restaurant".

"Yorkhill more confused than Grayson Perry".

"Nicky Henderson knows more about what it takes to win the Triumph than Terry Waite does about Lebanese radiators".



Puerile and moronic. On par with the offensive Jim Davidson

Take it you're not a fan then,Facts!When he was "Beat the Book" in the Sporting Life I quite liked his stuff although the comic attempt wear a bit when they're tried every sentence.Throwing all the salad on the floor sort of sums it up really.

I would love to spend an evening in the pub with you FACTS.

I take it your a fan of Victoria Wood/Norman Wisdom.

Facts is a snowflake of the highest order, fact.

used to see him in a pub in Cheltenham each year. On nodding terms with him. Saw him on 18th September 1996 at Sandown. Said hello to him. Funny , don't see you often here? Come to see the 1000G winner he replies. Have a punt on it AP. Duly did so. Dots up at 30/100 hard held. carried on backing it at start of 3yo season, despite a setback at Newbury. Then SLEEPYTIME won at HQ. Hold him in high regard :-).