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TheNorfolkMafia
17 Oct 12 13:52
Joined:
Date Joined: 26 Nov 08
| Topic/replies: 33,948 | Blogger: TheNorfolkMafia's blog
This from SkintofGreatYarmouth,

It was 1978, my first day as a racecourse bookmaker's workman, at my beloved Yarmouth.

I was working in the old East Ring in the centre of the course, (now defunct).

I was working for a bookmaker named Albert Wood from Strelley in Nottingham.

My first steps to becoming a racecourse bookmaker, hopefully.

After exchanging a few pleasantries, he began to explain what i had to do.

After a little while, he said,

"Go and get, the ices"

He did not seem too enamoured, when 10 minutes later, i came back with 3 cornets and a wafer!

Well, how the f*ck did i know, that 'the ices', were 'the prices'!

Laugh
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Report Breedingmad August 27, 2014 9:06 AM BST
Come on please funny stories...Laugh
Report REGIT August 27, 2014 10:08 AM BST
i was working for bk at huntingdon one year and rlyl gets me to bet on the mascot race with instructions to try and bet over.200% on board and off we go.3rd bet in £50 at 10.laid him 10 tenners.woman asks for £50 at four same runner.laid her a score.on the off holding about £250 and the gamble loses £220.gamble shoots clear -leads all-jumps last and im just trying to think of an excuse for rlyl when out of crowd comes a bloke in a gorrila costume and tackles him.i didnt know who had won cos i was watching the gamble chasing the gorrila all over the track.
Report REGIT August 27, 2014 10:13 AM BST
previous year sammy the squirrels putter on had stood behind me taking evens everytime i needed it.if he was winning me a 100 laid him even fifty.off we go again.even twenty.he won 300 we won 150.no reasonable bet refused.everyone happy.LaughLaughLaughLaughLaughLaughLaughLaugh
Report intheknow August 27, 2014 11:21 AM BST
some things never change Laugh
Report dr . atkins August 27, 2014 11:32 AM BST
slippy blue.john power was the best bookmaker ever on a joint when he was in full flow he would be a nightmare to bet next to the books would go up say 5t2 he would wait and then go 3t1 waited to he got every penny and then go 7t2.
Report adge August 27, 2014 11:54 AM BST
would need some catching up to do nowadays as everybody now opens 7/2
Report SkintofGreatYarmouth August 27, 2014 12:17 PM BST
"You two fancy a Mint Imperial"!

Classic Gold!

Laugh
Report kevin7654 August 27, 2014 12:33 PM BST
At Newbury about two weeks ago.We had set up on the rails,in no particular rush although as it was a maiden I was looking forward to viewing the horses in the pre parade ring.A well dressed Lady had been hanging around whilst we were setting up and when i displayed my prices ,approached the rails and asked me what was the Maximum stake I took.Having been to many many tracks this year being offered £1ew from various well dressed Ladies assumed she had made a mistake and meant what was the Minimum I took.As I didnt want to offend,I replied its ok -we will take whatever you have got in your pockets.
Thats ok then she said-I`ll have £2500 each way number 14 which was a 7/2 shot (4.7 v small on Betfair (unraced)).Felt obliged to accept.
She was Angela Dawes who had won £101 million on the lottery -not that I knew that at the time.

Made for a very interesting day-horse lost but cost me a right few quid.
Report cardifffc August 27, 2014 12:38 PM BST
norfolk............have you ever met big mac..........if so whats he really like??
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 27, 2014 12:49 PM BST
No, I've never met him!

I only mix with aristocracy and the 'flash bookie'!

Love
Report Big_Issue August 27, 2014 12:51 PM BST
Made for a very interesting day-horse lost but cost me a right few quid.

Why? Surely you trousered £5K off the bet?
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 27, 2014 1:18 PM BST
Big_Issue,

We don't know if it placed or what price it returned!
Report Swardean August 27, 2014 1:29 PM BST
During my time at University in mid-80s worked for a small independent.   Everyday a scruffy bloke would come in and place 10 slipfulls of bets, everyday he would hand me the 10 slips over from the day before, asking me to check them as he "hadnt seen the results".   Mostly all losers (as he well knew), one day I couldnt resist telling him there was £15 back instead of the actual £20.   

I can tell you now, he was pretty quick to tell me I was effing wrong, and trying to "rip him off" considering he didnt know the results.
Report Swardean August 27, 2014 1:30 PM BST
During my time at University in mid-80s worked for a small independent.   Everyday a scruffy bloke would come in and place 10 slipfulls of bets, everyday he would hand me the 10 slips over from the day before, asking me to check them as he "hadnt seen the results".   Mostly all losers (as he well knew), one day I couldnt resist telling him there was £15 back instead of the actual £20.   

I can tell you now, he was pretty quick to tell me I was effing wrong, and trying to "rip him off" considering he didnt know the results.
Report Breedingmad August 27, 2014 1:36 PM BST
I have actually done that trick but slight slant I had three winners in a Lucky 15 worked
out the return if the last had lost and went in the shop knowing I would get x£'s or considerably
more which is a nice surprise its happened on a couple of occasions I have had a nice surprise..
Report brassneck August 27, 2014 1:40 PM BST
I was working at fairyhouse one day.A new bookie from Belfast joined the line.The fav was 4/5 to win the race but the new guy was roaring evens the field.A well known punter with a green and yellow scarf walked over to the Belfast bookie and called an even 50 on the fav.The bet was struck and no money changed hands.when the meeting was over the punter wearing the scarf walked over to collect his bet and the bookie handed him 50 quid.The Punter argued that his bet was 50 grand and if you knew who the punter was you would know it was 50 grand.the punter still laughs about the bet and the bookie was never seen at a race course again.
Report factmachine August 27, 2014 2:56 PM BST
THE YEAR WOULD BE AROUND 1983,THE VENUE WAS A GREYHOUND TRACK IN THE NORTH WEST CALLED PARK ROAD(ST HELENS)AND AT THE TIME A WELL KNOWN MIDLANDS BOOKMAKER(STILL ON THE RACECOURSES TODAY) HAD A BLACK GREYHOUND THAT WAS VIRTUALY UNBEATABLE CALLED BEN.BEN WAS SUCH A GOOD DOG IT WOULD GIVE GOOD DOGS 4/5 YARDS START AND BE PAST THEM BY THE SECOND BEND AND JUST GO FURTHER AWAY,THE DOGS FAME EVEN SPREAD TO LOCAL PRESS COVERAGE.ONE NIGHT THERE WAS AN OPEN RACE AND A FEARLESS BOOKMAKER CALLED ARNIE WOOD WHO KNEW NOTHING ABOUT GREYHOUNDS SENT HIS PADDOCK JUDGE DOWN TO LOOK AT THE DOGS BEFORE THEY PARADED TO SEE IF HE RECONISED ANY OF THE GREYHOUNDS(NAMES OF GREYHOUNDS WERE USUALLY CHANGED IN OPEN RACES),THE PADDOCK JUDGE RETURNED WITH THE INFO THAT THE ONE DOG WAS BEN,ARNIE THEN PROCEEDED TO LAY THE ASSEMBLED MASSES INFRONT OF HIS JOINT AS HE CHALKED UP EVENS WHEN THE OPENING SHOW WITH THE OTHER BOOKS WAS 4/6,EVERYONE WAS ACCOMMODATED,EVEN THE OTHER BOOKIES WERE BACKING IT,THE ONE AND ONLY TIME BEN MISSED HIS BREAK WAS IN THIS RACE AND FLYING INTO THE FIRST BEND THE DOG GOT KNOCKED OVER,SPEAKING TO ARNIE AFTER THE RACE I ASKED HIM WHY HE HAD LAYED THE DOG DOWN THE PAGE,TO WHICH HE REPLIED IN ALL SERIOUSNESS,"WHEN MY MAN CAME BACK FROM THE PADDOCK,I THOUGH HE SAID THE ONE DOG WAS BENT"
Report unitedbiscuits August 27, 2014 4:35 PM BST
The ring was a lot more vibrant in the pre-electronic days that were before betfair.
Pitches were guarded jealously, and there were a lot more workmen, indeed the roar that brought in a "skinner" very often matched a good second-favourite.
But a bookie could still make a living off his pitch simply by taking Ladbrokes' bets, as they forced the SP down on a favourite. So there was one pitch in Tatts that literally didn't bother to display any prices,and took no bets, aside from other bookmakers'; and there was another who had a rime of white around his lips from constantly sucking on a one-third inch girth and three-inch long phallus of chalk. One of the two was Lewis Mendoza, I think, but would appreciate the forum's help.
Report intheknow August 27, 2014 6:56 PM BST
W.G.Dyer could have been the one with chalk around his mouth
Report dr . atkins August 27, 2014 7:03 PM BST
he was a fantastic bookmaker
Report Shergar August 27, 2014 7:12 PM BST
I remember an incident at Nottingham Silver Ring mid to late 70's; Bookmaker Jack Thorpe who'd  be about 80 at the time put one up too big, next thing him and the stand were demolished by a few floor men working from Tatts trying to get on, I think Cashy was one, needless to say no one got laidSad
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 27, 2014 7:25 PM BST
intheknow • August 27, 2014 6:56 PM BST
W.G.Dyer could have been the one with chalk around his mouth


Could have been John Gallant, legendary Norwich bookmaker, (Yarmouth dogs)!
Report jimeen August 27, 2014 7:26 PM BST
Some amusing stories and of course there is going to be a bit of embellishment here and there but brassneck's tale of the 50k bet in fairyhouse is more than a bit Irish. Even the most gullible are not going to swallow that one.
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 27, 2014 7:31 PM BST
I believed it!

Blush
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 27, 2014 10:32 PM BST
"You two fancy a Mint Imperial"!

Pity the post has been removed!

It was the funniest post on the thread!
Report screaming from beneaththewaves August 27, 2014 11:40 PM BST
johnnywilkinson 12 Aug 13 14:08 Joined: 13 Oct 07 | Topic/replies: 2,983 | Blogger: johnnywilkinson's blog
SCREAMINGFROMBEANEATHTHEWAVES .......I JUST NOTICED YOU REPLIED TO MY GABISH THREAD.....IM GLAD TO SEE YOUR STILL ABOUT I STAND CORRECTED I SWEAR I THOUGHT IT WAS FFITCH HEYES.....BUT YOU CAN CONFIRM IT WAS A FIFTY 50S.....I REMEMBER UPSETTING U AT LEICESTER ONE DAY WHEN I WENT A BIT TOO FAR WHEN I POINTED TO A BIG PRICED ONE INSINUATING THATS ALL U BET ,I WAS OUT OF ORDER THAT DAY ,IF U CANT REMEMBER I DOO -ONCE AGAIN -SORRY ................WHAT PRICE GABISH RUNNING TODAY PAUL ON HERE .....THANKS FOR REPLYING

johnnywilkinson 12 Aug 13 14:15 Joined: 13 Oct 07 | Topic/replies: 2,983 | Blogger: johnnywilkinson's blog
SCREAMING FUNNY ENOUGH THATS THE FIRST TIME ID BEEN FONTWELL ON THAT BH MONDAY.....AND LAST.....STILL SEE EDDIE CANT SPEAK TO HIM HES GONE SNOTTY SINCE HE GOT THE POST JOB AND FULHAM STOPPED UP


Pat, perhaps now might be a good time to speak to Eddie. I'm sure he'd be happy to chat with you about Fulham FC.Plain

No need to apologize about the incident at Leicester. I was taking it all much too seriously by that time, with the game getting more and more difficult owing to Betfair offering you chaps the best tissue you've ever had.

What price would Gabish be now? After £2 had been laid at 60.0 and 55.0 on here overnight it would have opened at 33-1 with Bet 365 in the morning. I would have been offered £0.30 at that price and would no longer have been interested at the general offer of 26.0 on here (SP 16-1, opened 20s in places).

By the way, have you ever read this article Eddie wrote for the Observer a few years back? He talks about the day he backed a 100-1 winner with you at Stratford.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2001/aug/19/horseracing.theobserver2
Report racingstar August 27, 2014 11:47 PM BST
Once,BF ruled the prices.
Now,with a little help,the more thoughtful can make the price what they want (within reason)on the average race.
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 12:20 AM BST
anyone remeber a bookie, Joe (cant recall his surname) from Liverpool.
He had a few pitches.
Has he retired?
Report Breedingmad August 28, 2014 12:42 AM BST
Joe 90
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 28, 2014 8:36 AM BST
Dav_vin03 • August 28, 2014 12:20 AM BST
anyone remeber a bookie, Joe (cant recall his surname) from Liverpool.
He had a few pitches.
Has he retired?


I don't remeber, anyone else remeber?

Cry
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 10:44 AM BST
DAV INO3,YES THE JOE YOU REFER TO WOULD BE JOE BRICK!
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 10:47 AM BST
AND YES HE HAS RETIRED,THERE WAS A RUMOR GOING AROUND THE RACECOURSES THAT HE HAD BEEN ARRESTED FOR IMPERSONATING A BOOKMAKER!LaughLaughLaughLaugh
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 10:51 AM BST
Joe was hard work when you took him to the cleaners.
He was also very conservative with his prices, but would panick with 1 miute to the OFF that he handt taken a penny and then get swamped.
Could never work him out.

Saw him refuse a few books a trade bet and then go off and put it on himself!
Could never work that out?
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 10:54 AM BST
HES NOT ON HIS OWN THERE!
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 11:03 AM BST
SADLY JOE WAS FOUND GUILTY UNDER THE NON TRIERS RULE 144A,AND BANNED FOR 10 YEARS,I THINK HE HAD TO HAND HIS LICENSE BACK!
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 11:05 AM BST
But after 4 races (think it was uttoxeter) a certain bookie wound him up by trying to get 300 on a 33/1 shot.

Joe refused the bet in no uncertain terms and soon had his miserably priced board down, bag under his arm and went off to back it!

Think it came last.

I use to bet with him purely for the comedy value, he was a nightmare when he lost big.

Never had a bet with him after race 4, was always concerned if I hit him to big he couldnt pay.


Never could understand why he priced up so miserably compared to the books around him but would then panic as the star got near and pushed everything out including the Fav to be best price.
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 11:08 AM BST
factmachine - who ended up with his course positions? How many did he have? I knew he had at least 3.
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 11:09 AM BST
THE POLICE LaughLaughLaughLaughLaugh
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 11:10 AM BST
so what happened to him?
whats the story?
Havent been able to find a bookie at uttoxeter quite like Joe.
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 11:16 AM BST
DONT KNOW MY FRIEND,HE JUST VANISHED,MUST HAVE RETIRED,ALTHOUGH I CANT RECALL SEEING ANY OF HIS PITCHES UP FOR SALE,BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT HE ISNT AT UTTOX ANYMORE!
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 11:23 AM BST
he was getting on.
Looked the type to be involved in the game until he dropped.
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 28, 2014 1:06 PM BST
They said that about Skinto!

But he soon got the old heave-ho!

Sad
Report factmachine August 28, 2014 4:41 PM BST
LaughLaughLaughLaughLaugh
Report Dav_vin03 August 28, 2014 11:26 PM BST
have asked around today what happened to Joe Brick, nobody seems to know.
He sort of dissapeared of the scene.
In all seriousness, I hope he is doing OK.
Report intheknow August 29, 2014 10:03 AM BST
I think he went into the building game
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 29, 2014 10:30 AM BST
From some time ago, a bookmaker I know would call bets down to yourself/pal, etc... I would have liked to have seen his face on a very busy night when punter comes to draw only for him to realise said 500/400 bet had been paid to another "pal" a few moments earlier!
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 29, 2014 10:44 AM BST
Hi Chris,

Anyone we know?

Laugh
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 29, 2014 10:47 AM BST
F*ck me, i've just noticed that another one of my posts has been pulled!

Laugh
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 29, 2014 10:55 AM BST
Yes.

MeCry.
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 29, 2014 10:56 AM BST
Not really.

Laugh.

It has been tried on me though!
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 29, 2014 10:57 AM BST
Yes, by me!

Laugh
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 29, 2014 11:05 AM BST
Paul,

No names, but you know the venue and the bet so you can arrive at a handful of individuals who it may have been.



P.S. It wasn't Ed.
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 29, 2014 11:05 AM BST
TheNorfolkMafia • August 29, 2014 10:47 AM BST
F*ck me, i've just noticed that another one of my posts has been pulled!

Laugh


It was this one!

Laugh

A story about the legendary 'Weasel'!

When he was a teenager, a mature woman took him home for sex and asked him for a 69, "What's that?" says 'The Weasel', she tells him "you put your head between my legs and I do the same to you". Whilst doing it she farts, she says "sorry, let's try again", she farts again, 'The Weasel' gets up and starts to dress, she asks "what are you doing?" 'The Weasel' replied......

"I'm not hanging around for another f*cking 67 of those"!


Laugh
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 29, 2014 11:11 AM BST
What has that got to do with on course bookmakers?


Anyway, another more recent one for you.


Did you hear about the occasion when a punter returns a ticket to have it exchanged before a race? Only problem was when ticket was exchanged for his correct selection he somehow retained the original ticket.

His original selection only goes and wins at 33/1!

Guess what happened next?
Report flash bookie August 29, 2014 11:11 AM BST
ican'tbelieve usaid that it sounds like marge to me he has got to be in the hall of fame top ten of clowns to have ever held a permit
Report dave367 August 29, 2014 2:56 PM BST
The funniest oncourse bookie story i heard was when a wannabe paid over £40,000 for a pitch at Yarmouth (much to the delight of the seller) only to repeatedly do his brains there and then get wound up by his best buddy as to weather the track will or wont reopen.


HE has got to be in the hall of fame top ten of clowns to have ever held a permit
Report DUNERUNNER August 29, 2014 9:36 PM BST
Was standing next to a rails pitch about 30 years ago when the bookie laid a lumpy bet @ 7s to the owner of a horse.

Seeing some 8s was available in the ring but disappearing quickly, he said to the young lad of a floor man "go and have X amount at 8s - if you can't get 8s take the 7s".

The lad was away for longer than expected and upon his return he said that he had to take the 7s. Bookie asked "couldn't you get any 8s - it was there long enough"?

Lad replied - "yes got a bit but that was for myself" !!!
Report Breedingmad August 30, 2014 12:30 AM BST
Bookie who I worked for complained when I shouted a 12-1 shot home complaining "Why didn't you back it with me?"..........Laugh
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 30, 2014 8:22 AM BST
Laugh
Report Kerrygold August 30, 2014 10:14 AM BST
the weasel seems like a decent sortLaughLaughLaughLaugh
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 30, 2014 10:30 AM BST
He's a 'Top Man'!

Happy
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 30, 2014 10:40 AM BST
Another greyhound one for you from Swaffham which closed in 2000.

Rookie representative in attendance for a bookmaker on a card which included some maiden opens which are always treated with some caution.

Anyway, greyhound from Hove against some decent locals is priced up at 8/1. Almost immediately punters descend on each book to back said dog. The dog duly obliges and punters are paid.

After the race, three books are licking their wounds having probably laid around 800/100 and a few bits and pieces as the price collapsed to 9/2.

Soon transpires that rookie bookmaker has laid 2800/350.

When asked why he laid such a bet on a maiden race rather than knock the punter back for part, his response was I did cut him, he asked for £400 at 8/1! Blush
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 30, 2014 11:20 AM BST
Saved himself £400!

Laugh
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 30, 2014 11:26 AM BST
That's what I like about you Paul.

Always been a half full man, rather than half empty!
Report icantbelieveyousaidthat August 30, 2014 11:28 AM BST
Anyone got stories about punters with counterfeit notes?
Report TheNorfolkMafia August 30, 2014 12:33 PM BST
Counterfeit - a fraudulent imitation of something else!

"hmmm"!
Report intheknow August 30, 2014 1:12 PM BST
Went to bank money and as usual the cashier put them through a counting machine. I watched in horror as I could see odd notes being rejected out of the bottom slot. About 9 x £20's in total, I asked to see & feel the notes (which they surprisingly allowed) and to me they all seemed okay so I said 'how do you know they are fake?'

She replied, "well sir, they all have the same serial number on for a start"

Laugh
Report democrat August 30, 2014 10:18 PM BST
Worked on the bag for a layer at Cheltenham many years ago with part of my remit being to spot any counterfeit notes as they were presented. I diligently checked each note as bets were struck until lo and behold a dodgy £20 note was exchanged. I, with some self satisfaction, duly pointed out the rogue note at the time of the bet to my employer at which point he retorted 'Don't worry about they're good enough to back horses with' !! ConfusedConfused
Report Oldgit1 August 30, 2014 10:27 PM BST
I read this one on another Forum where there was talk about Powderhall:

POWDERHALL Big James coup
My mate James was on the lookout for a wee dog to run around Powderhall, something that would get him an owners pass and perhaps a wee bet along the way, he was put onto a trainer at Peterborough and a video of a bitches racing was sent to him with instructions from the trainer to have a look at the tape and see if he could spot anything! On receiving the tape James was eager to see what was so special on this tape, he looked 4-5 times and still could'nt see anything,he phones the trainer up and tells him he cannot see anything special, infact its pretty dire, the trainer says "Check the tape again but really study what is happening when she wins", anyhow James goes away and checks it again and again and again and finally he spots it, a phone call to the trainer and the wee bitch was purchased.
Transport is organised and the bitch is delivered to Jane Glass.
The bitch is graded on and starts running 4 bend races and does'nt exactly set the track on fire, its decided that she should be tried over the 6 bend trip and duly has a grading trial, Last, Last and Last in her 3 races over the 6 bends, she then gets put in a handicap with a couple of dogs receiving a start from her, again she finishes nearer last, by now James was quickly becoming the laughing stock with his other mates for having the worst bitch at the track, he takes it on the chin and says "yes, your right, but shes mines so no need to worry" and proceeds to have his "Loyal" £50 per race on her.
As the weeks go by he was tucking his wages away in the bank, the bitch by now has been put off the front of the handicap but the dog behind her is only 1 metre behind, James has his £50 on again and she gets beat, AGAIN.
The week after he gets the advanced card on the tuesday for saturday nights racing.............He's just died and went to heaven, his bitch has been put of the front again but is now sitting 3 clear off her nearest rival and looks like she will lead the bend, he draws his money from the bank on the friday.
Saturday night comes and he acts normal by going to the track by bus with the other guys, as usual he asks the others if they want a bet on his bitch to which they just laugh and he says alright but you have been asked, the race approaches and off he toddles to the bookmakers ring to have what the others think is his routine £50, BANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...8 thousand to 1, 6 thousand to 1, and a 4 thousand to 1, the rings going nuts and James mates think he has lost the plot, the hares on the move, the boxes open, the bitch gets round in front and whooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh away she goes, striding out she goes further and further clear, by the time she hits the winning line she was the only dog in the camera, she won by the full length of the home straight and improved close on 1 1/2 seconds, the trainer was astounded as this bitch had been running on her merit since she arrived and could'nt believe what she had witnessed, James went to collect and 9 grand came back via Alex Farquar(Macbet), Alex being the gentleman that he was shook James hand and said "Well done big man" he had always said the bigger the price the more you have on and thats exactly what James did.
If you have not guessed by now the bitch needed to be left alone, if in amongst dogs she did'nt want to know and the Video from The trainer at Peterboro showed this.
Report Breedingmad August 31, 2014 9:01 AM BST
Good story enjoyed it.
Report NOW WE KNOW August 31, 2014 9:10 AM BST
About 20 years ago we were at a point to point at Cursneh Hill near Leominster. The cars parked on a slope behind the bookies and somebody failed to put their handbrake on and it demolished Jock Sheighs joint sending his workman 30 feet away.

Jock who had a well earnt reputation for meanness was chatting to another bookie and ran back to his pitch ignoring his crippled helper and scrambled on the floor for his notes and shrapnel!

By the time he had rebagged the loot his pal was in an air ambulance without even a how are ya!
Report Breedingmad August 31, 2014 9:12 AM BST
DreadfulCry
Report NOW WE KNOW August 31, 2014 9:14 AM BST
Dreadful but true, nearly took me and Mrs NWK with it. The floor man was ok but rumour has it Jock docked his wages as he was clearly not standing!
Report Breedingmad August 31, 2014 9:15 AM BST
Laugh
Report Breedingmad August 31, 2014 9:21 AM BST
I once heard a story that at Guisburn point to point the bookies once had a torrid afternoon
and every fav won.One bookie went large on the last favourite by a considerable margin and
got most of the business ,as the punters cheered the last fav home they turned to get  their
winnings from said bookie but they saw him jumping over the fence in the distance never to be
seen again..
Report THE-GHOST-OF-DICKIE-BIRD August 31, 2014 9:30 AM BST
My mate was into dogs big time sadly he has died now so i cant remember the whole story . . . But it was something like this.

He went to Ireland with a mate to buy some greyhound pups . . .Went to a stud 5 dogs where down the bottom of the run chewing on bones . . The stud owner whistled them 4 came running up to him the other just looked and carried on chewing his bone , the fella bought the 4 dogs that came to him ,but left the future winner of the greyhound derby munching on its boneCryCryCry
Report Breedingmad August 31, 2014 9:31 AM BST
Laugh
Report Dav_vin03 March 3, 2017 10:08 PM GMT
still one of the best threads, good read
Report kincsem March 4, 2017 2:22 AM GMT
Not funny stories

Derby winner High Chaparral had been off the course for nearly a year, came back in August 2003 for the Group 2 Royal Whip Stakes.
After looking at him in the parade ring I rushed to the top bookie in the ring and had £100 at evens.  I bet with him regularly and was probably one of his smallest punters.
I was surprised when the bookie asked me what the horse looked like.  I said he looked fit, ready, and interested.
He cut his price to odds on and let all the other bookies take the punters bets.
High Chaparral won and my bookie saved a fortune.

One bookie I remember fondly was at Epsom in 1998.
He was the first to put up prices at about 12:00 on Oaks day.
A regular of his bet on credit France to win the World Cup at 6/1.  They did.
I was next up and had £40 at 25/1 Shahtoush for the Oaks.  She won.
When I was collecting late in the day he ostentatiously handed me £40, and with the other hand low down slipped me £1,000, presumably in case pickpockets were watching.
Then he said "Congratulations, well done"  I'll never forget that.
Report TheNorfolkMafia June 11, 2019 12:13 PM BST
I thought I would resurrect this thread!
Report flatcap June 11, 2019 12:21 PM BST
Jimbo (working for TF) was at York and had a bet in the last race. He was off to Haydock so couldn't stay on for the last at York, So as the norm Mike Burton (Hills) rang Jimbo after the race. The conversation went like this.


Jim your horse won, the problem is there's no jockey onboard he was unshipped at the start. Mike had a wicked sense of humor (Sadly missed)
Report intheknow June 11, 2019 12:56 PM BST
yes, that's a typical MB joke Laugh
Report bigmo January 20, 2020 6:56 PM GMT
Gambling your wife on an Arsenal match and presenting the weather naked: 7 of the world's weirdest bets

Liverpool fan Tom Pound has vowed to have the Liver Bird tattooed on his p*nis if his team win the league. But what other outlandish wagers have sports fans made?


Man bets his house (and wife) on an Arsenal win


It was never going to end well when Arsenal fan Henry Dhabasani staked his house on his team beating Manchester United in a bet with Manchester United fan Rashid Yiga.

While Rashid bet his new Toyota Premio and his wife on a United win – in a bet witnessed by tribal elders and put in writing in their town in Uganda - he was left laughing when former Arsenal striker Van Persie took the Red Devils into a 1-0 lead at Old Trafford in November.

Uganda's Observer newspaper reported that Dhabasani, who has three wives and five children, fainted at the final whistle and was evicted from his two-room house the next day.
Report bigmo January 20, 2020 6:57 PM GMT
Weathergirl strips off after World Cup come-back


French weather girl Doris Tillier presented a forecast in rather unorthodox fashion - by being completely naked.           

The 27-year-old former model stripped off as the result of a wager where she promised to present the weather forecast without her clothes on if the French football team managed to come back from the dead and qualify for this summer's World Cup.

Goals from Karim Benzema and a brace from Liverpool's Mamadou Sakho saw Didier Deschamps' men overcome a 2-0 deficit against Ukraine and dramatically book their place in Brazil.

So, good to her word Tillier stripped off for the forecast on TV network Canal+ - much to the delight of viewers across the country.
Report bigmo January 20, 2020 6:58 PM GMT
Tennis fan's cheeky tattoo to celebrate Murray win


With Britain's luck in tennis being pretty awful over the last seven decades, Will Hirons probably felt secure his bottom would remain unblemished as Andy Murray went to secure victory in last year's Wimbledon.

For the 27-year-old tweeted that he would get a tattoo of the Scot's face on his bum cheek if he was victorious – and then had to go and actually do it when Murray won against Novak Djokovic in straight sets in what was Britain's first victory in the men's singles in 77 years.

The good sport, from Hereford, tweeted: “@andy_murray what a tennis player, your face will be tattooed on my ass.

“I'm a man of my word. It's a reminder of a proud moment. My girlfriend thinks I am a prat.”
Report bigmo January 20, 2020 6:59 PM GMT
Englishman agrees to ink himself after Welsh victory


Ardent England fan John Adams was so sure Wales would not win the rugby Grand Slam in 2012 he vowed to get a tattoo celebrating them if they did.

Only, they did win. And then he had to go through with it, getting 'Wales Grand Slam Champions 2012' etched onto his back when Wales secured a 16-9 victory over France.

The student said: “I heard the huge roar at the end of the game I knew that I was going to have to go through with it.

“I literally curled up with my head in my hands and asked myself what on earth was I thinking.

“It looks nice, it’s just a shame I’m English. It would be a great tattoo for a Welshman.”
Report bigmo January 20, 2020 7:00 PM GMT
City fan rues drunken wager


Manchester City supporter Rodney Ward saw red after having to get his team's sworn rival's crest tattooed to his chest after a drunken bet.

The life-long Blues fan, 24, made a bet with his Man Utd-supporting friend Paul Madden that City would finish top of the Premier League in 2010-2011 season

When they didn't, losing out to the Red Devils, he had to have his enemy's team tattooed to his right pec.

“I'm embarrassed as anything but it could have been worse if United had won the Champions league trophy too.

“Paul would have probably had me have a tattoo of Rooney on my back if that had happened and I would never have been able to show my torso in public again.”
Report bigmo January 20, 2020 7:01 PM GMT
Apologies. Wrong thread.
Report MinnieLAI January 20, 2020 8:26 PM GMT
Slightly off-topic but I recall a friend of mine rail-running at Chester being challenged by a racecourse official accusing him of using a device to send live information.  Yes of course he was.  But, by coincidence in close proximity was a rather rowdy stag party, one person with a six foot dildo strapped to his back.  I'm sure you can work out how the accusation, and conversation went from their, lol ....
Report TheNorfolkMafia May 6, 2020 4:33 PM BST
A thread from the past!

Any other funny stories lads and maybe lasses?
Report seaside May 6, 2020 5:11 PM BST
I win a few hundred at Cheltenham and my next port of call is Leicster I think it was I go back the horse I fancy and the bag man counts the money I think I was having about £300 on the horse the bag man peels off three of the notes which amounted to £60 and said these are no good I was amazed as I knew the notes had come from one of two bookies the day before from Cheltenham.
After that when I backed a winner I would put the notes in a envelope and write who I had collected it from and checked them when I got home.
I remember the horse did win at around evens I ripped up the funny money.
Report TheNorfolkMafia May 6, 2020 5:48 PM BST
Sorry to hear about the £60!

Hopefully, the new £20 notes will be more difficult to counterfeit!
Report glentoby May 6, 2020 6:27 PM BST
I remember a bookie at Yarmouth!!!
Report Celtic warrior May 8, 2020 11:35 AM BST
One of the best threads ever, really enjoyed it. lots of good jokes
Report werbie May 8, 2020 1:53 PM BST
Me and a mate were at Brighton races about 40yrs ago ( evening meeting)
Got there early, we were in the bar along with a few others, including bookmakerJohn Pegley who had a horse running in his colours that night. Somebody shouted across, what chance your horse
winning tonight John to which he replied that the only way it would prevail is if he chased it around the racecourse with a shotgun.
Of course, it bolted up!!!
Report screaming from beneaththewaves May 8, 2020 2:37 PM BST
When my parents were alive, I often used to stay with them on the Friday and Saturday if there were a couple of meetings in the London area I was attending. One weekend I had a really good afternoon on the Friday at Sandown. Not wanting to carry too much cash the next day, I asked my mother to deposit a couple of grand in readies in my building society account on the Saturday morning, while I took the train again to Esher.

I got back on the Saturday evening, and my mother handed me the passbook, saying that she'd deposited the money OK. "But Mrs Patel from next door was behind the till, and she would have wondered where you'd got the cash from, so I told her it was money you'd earned, but you were paying it into the building society in cash in order to hide it from the taxman."

I was still ranting at the poor woman by the time Match Of The Day started.
Report unbiased May 8, 2020 4:50 PM BST
The scene is Sandown on a Saturday afternoon in summer,just before computers replaced the clerk with book and pencil.
   The cast is the Mendoza clan,Lulu,number one son,and Michael,all working together on the stand,which wasn't a regular happening.
Lulu shouting the odds,occasionaly foaming at the mouth,Michael clerking,and Paulon the bag.
After 2 or 3 races Lulu decides to do a cash check,and yes,you guessed right,there was a shortage,of about £100!!!
    Well what went on after that was probably the most comical scene in memory involving a bookmaker.
Lulu insisting he knew what he put in to start and how much he may have had to add,Michael insisting as he was only the clerk,it can't be his fault,and Paul having a good shouting match with Lulu and Michael.Things got more and more heated,by now Lulu was really frothing,Michael and Paul doing battle,and no business being done.The name calling ,personal abuse,excuses,it was pure comedy.
  "We don't carry on until this is found" exclaimed Lulu,"we have to keep working ",said Paul","we can check again after the last"said Michael,all to no avail,as Lulu wanted the money to be right."Am I working with amateurs,one of you has messed up" etc.This went on for the next couple of races,and if you know the team involved,you can visualize the comedy that took place.
  I think, at the end ,they agreed not to work together again,if agreed is the right word!Making me laugh typing this,even after all these years have gone by.It certainly wasn't unusual for a bookmaker to argue with his staff when things went wrong.
Report adge May 8, 2020 6:55 PM BST
always was the clerk's fault anyway
Report screaming from beneaththewaves May 8, 2020 10:22 PM BST
I only ever met Lulu once outside of the betting ring. He was walking past St Peter's Church in Brighton, arm-in-arm with what I presume was his lady wife, and he couldn't have been more civil, courteous and charming to me and the girl I was with.

Yet two days later I saw him in the betting ring on the Rowley Mile, and there he was as usual, ranting, sulking and consumed with anger, resentment and indignation.

Was it all an act, or what?
Report TheNorfolkMafia May 8, 2020 10:40 PM BST
The story about Lulu reminded me that,

Many years ago when I was working for Alan Pye (Duggie Pye) joint. Alan was just outside the numbers for Tattersalls on the Rowley Mile, but we went hoping there might be a few 'misses' and we would 'get on'! We missed by one! I was standing in the 'ring' when Ronnie Hales asked if we had 'got on'! "Missed by one Ronnie" I said! "Wait there", he said! About a minute later he came back and said, "Do you want to clerk for Lulu? only Michael hasn't turned up", he said! "Yes please" I said! I'd just opened the clerking book when Michael arrived! "F*ck him, he's late, you're clerking", said Lulu! At the end of the day Lulu gave me £90 and said, "Do you want to clerk for me again tomorrow?", "Yes please", I said, because Alan wasn't going on the Friday! At the end of the day Lulu gave me £90 again and said, "Do you want to clerk for me again tomorrow?"! "I will Lulu, providing Alan doesn't get on, but if he does I'll have to work for him"! "I understand", he said! So we go back on the Saturday and Alan 'gets on'! I was so disappointed! I go and tell Lulu and he thanks me for clerking the two days for him! "My pleasure Lulu, and Thank You for asking me"! At the end of the day Alan gives me £50, which is what he paid me!

Cry

I always got on famously with Lulu, I must have been the only one!

Laugh
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