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Don't worry - I have seen the future, and it looks bright...
INDUSTRY FINANCES
Having weathered a turbulent period, racing's finances have never looked better. With rising sea levels forcing bookmakers to abandon their operations in Gibraltar, global warming has been a boon for the industry. Only Vict0r Ch@andler, whose odds compilers are believed to operate from a cramped submersible somehwere off the Indian coast, has not relocated to the UK mainland. With football banned by Prime Minister Steven Fry shortly after he took office in 2016, racing's share of bookmakers' profits has risen dramatically, and income from the levy has reached record levels.
FIXTURES
All three flat courses and both National Hunt tracks continue to offer a range of opportunities for horses running under both codes, over a variety of distances from 100m right up to the supreme test of stamina posed by 1km staying races. Though some diehards have been reluctant to embrace the new Pattern, most agree that it provides a thorough test for the 2-year-old 'classic' generation.
Purists still look forward to the classics, each of which offers its own unique challenge. Speed is the key to victory over Newmarket's 400m all-weather straight, which hosts the Ocean Finance 1000 and 2000 euros in late April. By mid-May the classic bandwagon has moved on to Sunninghill Heights, where the Tesco Stakes (formerly known as the 'Derby') and the Every Little Helps Fillies Classic ('Oaks') are contested round the track's stiff 800m Astroturf dogleg. Fewer trainers now target the stamina-sapping 1km St Leger, hosted by the EborParcs Racing and Leisure Complex in early June, and the long-term future of the race in its current guise has begun to look doubtful.
With the classic programme complete, the way is clear by mid-June for the month-long Sunninghill Heights Celebrity Festival (formerly 'Royal Ascot'). For most, this now represents the pinnacle of the flat racing calendar. The forward-thinking Sunninghill management team has overseen a number of radical changes to the fixture since King Charles severed the 'Royal' connection with the venue in 2015. The size of the Celebrity Enclosure has drawn criticism from ordinary race-goers, however, with restricted views offered by the new subterranean stand a particular source of complaint. Having vowed to address the issue, administrators recently unveiled plans to install ten more periscopes.
The National Hunt season, spanning the whole of February and March, is geared very much towards the Cheltenham Festival, which remains the envy of the international jump racing world. There has not been a single equine casualty at the Festival since the new box hedge obstacles were introduced in 2013. Punter deaths at the 20-day meeting have reached uncomfortably high levels, however, and a commission has been set up to look into the possible causes of this worrying trend.
THE THOROUGHBRED BREED
Equine cloning has been banned since the farcical 12-way dead-heat in the 2018 Cheltenham Gold Cup, when a dozen Kauto Stars passed the post together. Nevertheless, with artificial insemination still permitted, concern has been voiced in some quarters at the degree to which the global stallion market has consolidated in recent years. The BHA has rejected claims that a diminishing gene pool could harm the long-term wellbeing of the breed, however, maintaining that - between them - the Coolmore Arabian, the O'Brien Barb and the Magnier Turk offer potential breeders plenty of options. It also points to the bumper crowds now being drawn by races for animals with more than seven legs.
INDUSTRY FINANCES
Having weathered a turbulent period, racing's finances have never looked better. With rising sea levels forcing bookmakers to abandon their operations in Gibraltar, global warming has been a boon for the industry. Only Vict0r Ch@andler, whose odds compilers are believed to operate from a cramped submersible somehwere off the Indian coast, has not relocated to the UK mainland. With football banned by Prime Minister Steven Fry shortly after he took office in 2016, racing's share of bookmakers' profits has risen dramatically, and income from the levy has reached record levels.
FIXTURES
All three flat courses and both National Hunt tracks continue to offer a range of opportunities for horses running under both codes, over a variety of distances from 100m right up to the supreme test of stamina posed by 1km staying races. Though some diehards have been reluctant to embrace the new Pattern, most agree that it provides a thorough test for the 2-year-old 'classic' generation.
Purists still look forward to the classics, each of which offers its own unique challenge. Speed is the key to victory over Newmarket's 400m all-weather straight, which hosts the Ocean Finance 1000 and 2000 euros in late April. By mid-May the classic bandwagon has moved on to Sunninghill Heights, where the Tesco Stakes (formerly known as the 'Derby') and the Every Little Helps Fillies Classic ('Oaks') are contested round the track's stiff 800m Astroturf dogleg. Fewer trainers now target the stamina-sapping 1km St Leger, hosted by the EborParcs Racing and Leisure Complex in early June, and the long-term future of the race in its current guise has begun to look doubtful.
With the classic programme complete, the way is clear by mid-June for the month-long Sunninghill Heights Celebrity Festival (formerly 'Royal Ascot'). For most, this now represents the pinnacle of the flat racing calendar. The forward-thinking Sunninghill management team has overseen a number of radical changes to the fixture since King Charles severed the 'Royal' connection with the venue in 2015. The size of the Celebrity Enclosure has drawn criticism from ordinary race-goers, however, with restricted views offered by the new subterranean stand a particular source of complaint. Having vowed to address the issue, administrators recently unveiled plans to install ten more periscopes.
The National Hunt season, spanning the whole of February and March, is geared very much towards the Cheltenham Festival, which remains the envy of the international jump racing world. There has not been a single equine casualty at the Festival since the new box hedge obstacles were introduced in 2013. Punter deaths at the 20-day meeting have reached uncomfortably high levels, however, and a commission has been set up to look into the possible causes of this worrying trend.
THE THOROUGHBRED BREED
Equine cloning has been banned since the farcical 12-way dead-heat in the 2018 Cheltenham Gold Cup, when a dozen Kauto Stars passed the post together. Nevertheless, with artificial insemination still permitted, concern has been voiced in some quarters at the degree to which the global stallion market has consolidated in recent years. The BHA has rejected claims that a diminishing gene pool could harm the long-term wellbeing of the breed, however, maintaining that - between them - the Coolmore Arabian, the O'Brien Barb and the Magnier Turk offer potential breeders plenty of options. It also points to the bumper crowds now being drawn by races for animals with more than seven legs.
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Replies: 10
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Can't be arsed to read all that.
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disappointing to write all that and 8 years on, still no response
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Give Dr Devious credence and respect for his imaginative vision, and amusing renaming of Racecourse and the Classic races.
A little light-hearted Sunday evening reading has not gone amiss with me.  |
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Disappointing that Shafter missed that won.
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Have you really got nothing better to do with your time than to dig around the archives and pull up an 8 year old thread?
I find that quite sad personally. |
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Only took 30 seconds.
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Can't beat a dig round the archives on a Sunday night imo
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You dig?
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Yes I have a Kaboota
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Dr Devious will bookmakers ever take bets from us mere mortals in the future or will you still have to be in racing,media gravy,celebs or deep pocketed addicts to get owt on?
Cause if it's like it is now the future looks dark and $hitty to me. |