IS THERE A LINE OF BETFAIR BETTORS WITH LAPTOPS AT THE TRACKS

ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TAKE A FOLD UP CHAIR AND TABLE IN WITH YOU

I DONT WANT TO BE SAT THERE WITH A TABLE AND LAP TOP ,AND PEOPLE THINK IM THE CUSTOMER SERVICE MAN

I WAS GOING TO GO AND LAY HORSES THAT GO SLOW,BUT IM COLOUR BLIND AND WOULD GET MIXED UP WITH THE JOCKEYS COLOURS ,I NEED TO GET TO KNOW WHO THE HORSES ARE PERSONALY SO I DONT GET THEM MIXED UP

gbyfh

yfdsc

IF I TURN UP WITH A LAPTOP,WILL ALL THE JOCKEYS THINK IM A TAX INSPECTOR,AND HIDE IN THE TOILETS,I DONT WANT TO SCARE THEM

I HOPE THERES NO MAFIA LAP TOP THUGS WHO BEAT YOU UP ,BECAUSE YOUR AT THEIR TRACK,
THE LAST TIME I TRIED TO MAKE SOME MONEY,I BOUGHT AN ICE CREAM VAN ,AND ALL THE ICE CREAM VAN MEN  LET MY TYRES DOWN,BE CAUSE I WAS ON THERE PATCH
I JUST HAD STEREEPHONIC VERTIONS OF THE TEDDY BEARS PICKNIC INSTALLED

say after me..."highmer sill leek hunt"

IM FINDING IT HARD TO GET A KEYBOARD WITH BIG KEYS AND BIG LETTERS ON,AND ITS EVEN HARDER TO FIND ONE THATS WORKING AT THE CAR BOOT SALE

THE LAST LAP TOP I BOUGHT FROM THE CAR BOOT SALE, I FOUND OUT WAS A COMPACT DISC PLAYER WHEN I GOT HOME

I SHOULD HAVE ASKED THE MAN TO TAKE IT OUT OF THE HARRODS CARRIER BAG,AND SEE IT FIRST

IVE WORKED IT ALL OUT,IM GOING TO GO TO THE TRACK ,AND GO TO THE PARADE RING ,AND LOOK FOR HORSES WITH SPOTS AND WARTS THEY WONT WANT TO BE ON SHOW AT THE FRONT ,THEY WONT WANT ANYONE TO SEE THEIR FACES,THEY WILL STAY COVERED UP AT THE BACK

IM GOING NOW TO THE POUND SHOP TO GET SOME NEW POUND READING GLASSES WITH LENS IN ,THE LENS KEEP FALLING OUT OF THE ONES IVE GOT

BUY BUY

PS DONT BUY READING GLASSES FROM CAR BOOT SALES,SOMETIMES THEY HAVE GLASSES THAT PEOPLE HAVE DIED IN

I HOPE THERES NO MAFIA LAP TOP THUGS WHO BEAT YOU UP ,BECAUSE YOUR AT THEIR TRACK,
THE LAST TIME I TRIED TO MAKE SOME MONEY,I BOUGHT AN ICE CREAM VAN ,AND ALL THE ICE CREAM VAN MEN  LET MY TYRES DOWN,BE CAUSE I WAS ON THERE PATCH
I JUST HAD STEREEPHONIC VERTIONS OF THE TEDDY BEARS PICKNIC INSTALLED

---------

genius

In a league of hos own.Another great read.

Must be a painful death, dying in glasses

It sure is .......... my uncle was glassed by a man in a pub.

Class apart is Do Wah

stay of the railway tracks

IVE BEEN TO THE POUND SHOP ,THE MAN SAID HES WAITING FOT THE READING GLASSES TO ARRIVE,HE SOLD ME A SPY GLASS UNTILL THEY CAME ,AND SHOWN ME A TRICK HOW TO BURN YOUR HAND WITH THE SPYGLASS WHEN THE SUN COMES OUT,

I SAID WHAT IF THE SUN DOESNT COME OUT,HE SAID I CAN TAKE IT BACK AND GET A FULL REFUND

IT WAS A MAGNIFYING GLASS SORRY AND IT WAS PLASTIC

NOW IVE GOT A MAGNIFYING GLASS I MIGHT START STAMP COLLECTING ,IM GOING TO SEND MY SELF SOME LETTERS,IVE GOT A FREE BUS PASS I CAN GO ANYWHERE IN MANCHESTER,

class so wah, as usual

and do wah

Teddy Bears Picnic! Smashing!

Have you ever been down south Do Wah ?

YES IVE BEEN DOWN SOUTH ON THE MOTORWAY,I TOOK MY COMPASS WITH ME ,BECAUSE I CANT READ THEM MOTORWAY SIGNS WHEN YOUR GOING FAST AT 50 MPH ,I DIDNT SEE NO WHITE CLIFF S OF DOVER IN SOUTHAMPTON,MIND YOU IT WAS NIGHT WHEN I GOT THERE

SOUTHAMPTON WASNT VERY NICE ,I THINK THATS WHY THEY BUILT A PORT THERE,SO PEOPLE CAN GET AWAY IF THEY DONT LIKE IT

AND THAT LONDONS VERY HORRIBLE,THEVE BUILT 2 AIRPORTS SO YOU CAN GET AWAY EVEN QUICKER

I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WANT TO LIVE IN LONDON ,ITS NOT EVEN GOT A BEACH

AND THERE ASHAMED OF THE TRAINS,THEY DONT WANT ANYONE TO SEE THEM,THEY RUN THE TRACKS UNDERGROUND

THEVE GOT BIG STATUTES OF LIONS IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE,IVE NEVER SEEN A LION IN ENGLAND,ARE THEY ASHAMED OF OUR COWS

Do wah Diddy Joined: 24 Jul 06
Replies: 3884 10 May 10 15:51   


IVE BEEN TO THE POUND SHOP ,THE MAN SAID HES WAITING FOT THE READING GLASSES TO ARRIVE,HE SOLD ME A SPY GLASS UNTILL THEY CAME ,AND SHOWN ME A TRICK HOW TO BURN YOUR HAND WITH THE SPYGLASS WHEN THE SUN COMES OUT,

I SAID WHAT IF THE SUN DOESNT COME OUT,HE SAID I CAN TAKE IT BACK AND GET A FULL REFUND

What price all these have appeared in Viz at some point?

I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY ALL THE HOUSES IN LONDON ARE DEAR,IT MUST BE THAT THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE THERE HAVE ALL GOT ASBOES AND NO OTHER TOWN WILL HAVE THEM,

CHOMPY BAR,IF THEY ARE THEVE COPIED THEM OFF ME,I CANT EVEN AFFORD A PAPER NEVER MIND A FUNNY MAGAZINE

CHOMPY BAR ,I NEVER EVEN COPIED AT SCHOOL,NO ONE WOULD SIT NEAR ME

CHOMPY BAR ARE YOU FAT CHOMPY REMINDS ME OF CHOMPYNESS ,FROM THE LATIN EL FATO

IM NOT A COPIER,IM AN ORIGINAL ,IM LIKE A PROPER PAIR OF WRANGLER JEANS FROM DEBERMAMS SUPERSTORE,IM NOT A COPY OFF E BAY OR OFF A MARKET STALL IN TURKEY

CHOMPY BAR HOW COULD YOU CALL ME A COPIER FROM VIZ,IF I LOOKED AT MAGAZINES IT WOULD BE COUNTRY LIFE IN SALFORD,OR THE ANTIQUES MONTHLY

IM AN ORIGINAL LIKE THE MOANING LISA

I COULD HAVE BEEN A STAR,IF I HAD GONE TO STAGE SCHOOL ,BUT I DIDNT WANT TO GO INCASE ONE OF THE LESSONS WAS GARDENING,I DONT LIKE GETTING MY FINGER NAILS DIRTY,PULLING UP UHE POTATOES

WHEN I WENT FOR THE INTERVIEW,THE TEACHER SAID IF ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR SIR JOHN MILLS TO PICK POTATOES ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU,

TOMMY COOPER ONCE CAME TO MY MAMS AND ASKED ME IF I WAS INTERESTED IN FORMING A DOUBLE ACT WITH HIM ,I SAID IM NOT LIVEING MY LIFE IN A SUITCASE

HE SAID WHY NOT,I SAID IVE NOT GOT A SUITCASE,AND CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT

I WAS UPSET WHEN HED GONE,I FOUND OUT LATER HE HAD TAKEN MY BIRO

MY MAM SAID,YOU DONT WANT TO DO A DOUBLE ACT WITH SOMEONE WHO PINCHES YOUR BIRO,SHE SAID HE WILL PUNCH ALL YOUR FUNNY LINES ,I SAID NO MAM ITS NOT LIKE THAT,SHE SAID OH YES IT IS,ITS LIKE THIS

IM GOING NOW ,IM GOING TO PRAY FOR CHOMPY AND A FEW MORE ON HERE

BUY BUY

yes

top stuff [:D]