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Bangers N Mash
19 Apr 10 06:21
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Date Joined: 08 Aug 08
| Topic/replies: 900 | Blogger: Bangers N Mash's blog
Disgraceful, sums up The Beano
Pause Switch to Standard View Birchy, please read his blog on Post...
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Report Bangers N Mash April 19, 2010 6:22 AM BST
Just to add, Millington obviously oks this, sack him
Report Meus Ora April 19, 2010 8:59 AM BST
But the readers comments are very funny, much better than the blog post itself, which tells it's own story.
Report Great Whyte April 19, 2010 9:07 AM BST
Where is it on the site, cant seem 2 find it? ;)
Report halcyon days April 19, 2010 9:17 AM BST
Comments
Been telling my neighbor all week about a particular horse in a 3 runner novice chase today. Told him to lump on. Certainty. VC priced up at 11/10, lovely jubbly. Unfortunately there was a 95p in the pound Rule 4. Still a winner's a winner! Oi Oi!

» Report abuse07:05pm - 18 Apr 10cd106783, United Kingdom
What this column needs is less greyhound talk (nobody cares about that sport) and more tips from your nieces

» Report abuse05:22pm - 18 Apr 10DevilsMojo, United Kingdom
Part 1

Woke up this morning, came downstairs and found that our new puppy had urinated on the floor. Retrieved mop and cleaned up. What larks! Went up stairs and evacuated my bowels in the lavatory. Wiped rectum, not forgetting to wash hands!

» Report abuse10:18am - 18 Apr 10cd106783, United Kingdom
If this is what Millington considers is of interest to his readership, I am more than happy to post my blog detailing how I spent the weekend picking up dog excrement from my garden, arguing with my wife, and entertaining my children. Compelling!

» Report abuse10:13am - 18 Apr 10cd106783, United Kingdom
Agree 100 percent with barbarycoast - this is shameful! Birch is presumably employed to edify us with 'a light hearted look ' at his punting life. I could not give a monkey's about how he spent the weekend in the company of his nieces. Utter drivel.

» Report abuse10:11am - 18 Apr 10cd106783, United Kingdom
What a wonderful insight to your week of punting, what a shambles this is, you might as well become a nanny and write kids books, and the editor is a moron for allowing this to be shown

» Report abuse09:55am - 18 Apr 10barbarycoast, United Kingdom
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:^0
Report shaggykev April 19, 2010 9:27 AM BST
may as well post the blog so people dont need to go on that joke of a site

So much to cram in as Derby draws ever nearer

I'VE only just recovered from the exertions of hosting my two young nieces - aged 10 and seven respectively - for the weekend. The amount we crammed into two and a half days was quite extraordinary.

On Friday afternoon we went swimming, sat in a steam room, cheered home my £150 each-way bet on Noble Future at Kempton (9-1 down to 4-1; won£187.50 from Stan James), went hunting for shells on the beach, and put down 'deterrents' - otherwise known as traps to adults - to prevent a family of moles from destroying Uncle Richodd's back garden.]

During the evening we enjoyed burgers and fries at a beach-side restaurant, watched 12-rated The Nutty Professor on DVD - the girls under strict instructions not to repeat any of the language to their parents - and then pretended to have a midnight feast (it was 10.30pm), but I surreptitiously changed the time on the front-room clock and DVD player!

On Saturday morning at the crack of dawn - clocks back to the correct time! - we all went for a jog on the beach, noticed that the mole 'deterrent' had appeared to work, ate breakfast outdoors, and watched a DVD of Problem Child. Then I took seven-year-old Holly to the pier, while Jacky went shopping with Rebecca.

After two hours of smash-ups on the bumper cars, persistent candy-floss consumption and penny arcade-playing, we all met up for another swim at my sports club. Then it was off to McDonald's for a late lunch, and onto a riding school to watch Auntie Jacky on horseback.

As soon as that was finished - the closest I got to the Grand National was listening to the direst commentary imaginable via mobile-phone (Big Fella Thanks not even mentioned until Becher's for the second time; I was under the impression he'd either fallen or had been withdrawn for about six or seven minutes) - we drove off to the cinema to watch Nanny McPhee 2 and munch large amounts of sweets and chocolate.

Back home at 8pm, we enjoyed dinner and then went off to frequent a nearby children's disco at a holiday camp. Two hourslater, after heartily singing the alternative version to 'In The Navy' - 'In The Gravy' - it was a return to base camp to watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit on video.

Sunday morning started off with a walk on the beach, continued with a visit to the best breakfast establishment in the area, and ended with a competitive game of Ten-Pin Bowling. Then it was back to the club for a final swim, a visit to an ice-cream kiosk, and off to a favourite local inn for traditional Sunday lunch.

My sister and brother-in-law came to pick the girls up late in the afternoon, and were duly astonished at the amount we'd all packed into the two and a half days. I understand neither a totally worn-out Holly or Rebecca surfaced from bed until 10am on Monday morning!

There are clear parallels to be drawn from this weekend tale to the forthcoming williamhill.com Greyhound Derby. I've been asked to appear on a GOBATA-arranged Derby forum panel at Henlow on Sunday week - April 25.

All the reports I've heard about Henlow in the last six months or so have been highly, highly favourable, so I'm particularly interested in seeing what the place is like for myself.

As part of the panel, I'm supposed to come up with a greyhound for each of the following categories: win a round contender; promising puppy; leading lady; dark horse; Irish raider, and ultimate champion.
It was only when sitting down to produce some answers on Monday that I realised what a truly thankless task it was. There might be less than two weeks until the Derby kicks-off in earnest, but an awful, awful lot can happen in that time.

There are Wimbledon trials on Saturday. There are plenty of Irish dogs coming over to trial. There are key races such as the bettor.com Scottish Derby to complete. There are trial stakes at Wimbledo. There are crucial decisions to be made by trainers and owners on whether to enter or not.

In fact, I would go as far to say that of my six original answers to those categories, it would come as no real surprise if at least three of them were radically different by Sunday week.

And that's not attributed to any lack of research or self-confidence on my part, it's purely down to the sheer amount of new information that will be available for punters to digest by that time.

Obviously, I've a reasonable idea of what I think could happen atWimbledon during the merry month of May. But just like that thoroughly enjoyable, action-packed weekend with my nieces, there's stacks still to be squeezed into a very short space of time.


I fully intend to embrace it all,and give myself the best possible chance of making the right choices before and throughout the competition.

And if you fancy attending that forum at Henlow next Sunday, it starts at 7pm and is expected to finish around 10pm.

Cheltenham forums are always popular; lets hope this new initiative proves a winner with greyhound racing fans, too.
Report halcyon days April 19, 2010 9:29 AM BST
:D
Report shaggykev April 19, 2010 9:30 AM BST
so basically he bores you with tales of his nieces

then says he'll be at a forum to discuss something he hasnt a clue about but hopes it will be a good iniative

brucie, p45, GET IT READY
Report TiptheOdds April 19, 2010 10:34 AM BST
Do the bloggers actually get paid for this guff?
Report David Fishwick Minibus Sales April 19, 2010 11:13 AM BST
ffs
Report YORKYPETE. April 19, 2010 11:16 AM BST
seems to show an unhealthy interest in his neices
Report Bangers N Mash April 19, 2010 6:54 PM BST
Any reply Birchy or Bruce?
Report hearts1874 April 19, 2010 6:56 PM BST
YORKYPETE. 19 Apr 11:16


seems to show an unhealthy interest in his neices


Class
Report Bangers N Mash April 19, 2010 7:04 PM BST
I urge everyone to email Brucie and ask his views
Report onlooker April 19, 2010 7:26 PM BST
Birchy's two nieces obviously left their CRAYONS at his house.
Report savaloy69. April 19, 2010 7:29 PM BST
Good christ that is bad, even for birch :(
Report uptothelast April 19, 2010 7:38 PM BST
yet another pathetic effort.
Report thegalwayman April 19, 2010 7:49 PM BST
Excellent blog imo.
Report millhouse April 19, 2010 8:28 PM BST
cheered home my £150 each-way bet on Noble Future at Kempton (9-1 down to 4-1; won£187.50 from Stan James),


How many people here would even remotely get £150 each way at 9's with the firm mentioned...? I and many others wouldn't get fifteen quid.

This is someone supposedly so good at betting that he tips for a living, yet while Racing Post readers are getting knocked back all over the place, he can get on three figure bets at a collapsing price.

Either Mr Birch is actually a seriously bad punter, or it's one rule for the Racing Post staff when it comes to bookmaker account restriction, and another for its readers.

So which is it Bruce - are your writers losers or liars...?
Report onlooker April 19, 2010 9:17 PM BST
I would imagine Birch 'qualifies' under both cvounts ...

Racing Post privileges -

and a serial Loser.
Report 718 April 19, 2010 9:30 PM BST
It's his blog, he can post what he wants - people write blogs for the hell of it - they/he isn't being paid for it and doesn't have to answer to anyone - provided he stays within the libel laws.
Report Quick As You Like April 20, 2010 1:39 PM BST
it appears the Birchmeister General has got you all in the palm of his hand - fishy, fishy, fishy
Report NoobNaps April 20, 2010 1:47 PM BST
top bloke is birchy
Report Happy Valley April 20, 2010 4:49 PM BST
i rather enjoyed his blog

but i do not believe his betting tales, i think they are imaginative!
Report Dan Chipowski April 20, 2010 4:52 PM BST
It is a good read, mainly due to it being such fabled guff.
Report Aviboyd April 20, 2010 5:01 PM BST
What do you expect for free?
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