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bloody hell, how painful is that.
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sharpen a half inch piece of round steel bar and stick it into your stomach. i seen a man do this when some sheep had this problem once in a film.it worked for them
cant get rid of the b'tard, been sittin in the same position for half hour, every time i move it creases me up
get some Gaviscon down you mate - will be gone within the hour
Seriously, colly, lots of baking powder in water will do the trick very quickly, put loads in.
Lots of baking powder in water and then what, just sit there and watch it ?!
I aint drinking that, it'll turn into a loaf of bread and I like mine sliced !
A good dose of Andrew's Liver Salts and don't move too far away from the bathroom!
sit on a couch, lean to the side and cross 1 leg over the other...
sit and wait a few mins, make sure there are no steamers in proximity, and then feel the breeze between yor knees ;-)
sit and wait a few mins, make sure there are no steamers in proximity, and then feel the breeze between yor knees ;-)
Sounds like you have reflux problem. Maybe hiatus hernia!
Chemists sell preparation called "Windeeze"
This weeks special offer "Get free kite with every purchase"
This weeks special offer "Get free kite with every purchase"
coming down the 18th at the golf club and i saw my mate being stretchered out of the clubhouse and into an ambulance.i thought hed had a heart attack or something.turned out to be trapped wind. he said the pain was excruciating and nearly unbearable ,so you have my sympathy and hope it clears up soon for you.
LMFAO, watch this :^0
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6304447980554417691#
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6304447980554417691#
While you are waiting shove a tampon applicator up your arris.
May not help but conjures up an amusing image. :^0
May not help but conjures up an amusing image. :^0
Two solutions:
1. Kneel with head low on to the floor and rock back on to your heels.
2. Lay on your back with lower legs on a chair. Hands over head and then do a few sit ups.
Both methods constrict/put pressure on the intestines and create a movement in the bowels.
William
1. Kneel with head low on to the floor and rock back on to your heels.
2. Lay on your back with lower legs on a chair. Hands over head and then do a few sit ups.
Both methods constrict/put pressure on the intestines and create a movement in the bowels.
William
Get some deflatine by rennie, it's in yellow packet.....this will shift it.
3 t/spoons of andrews in a glass of water seems to have cleared it,thank fcuk,
saddo, its been a few yrs since i was at school but i still remember the baking powder and water experiments so i passed on that 1, cheers anyway.
saddo, its been a few yrs since i was at school but i still remember the baking powder and water experiments so i passed on that 1, cheers anyway.
colly croft if you decide to carry out the William Plan 1.
Then earn whilst you fart.
I will give you £10 to go to Aintree today and do it in front of Will am Hiills racecourse pitch, and when it works tell them that cubone sent you.
Then earn whilst you fart.
I will give you £10 to go to Aintree today and do it in front of Will am Hiills racecourse pitch, and when it works tell them that cubone sent you.
well done colly it has worked as i can smell it from here.
i might chance a few bob on "the bear" cus i sounded like 1 after i took it.
Half a bottle of syrup of figs followed by a cup of coffee and 3 or 4 successive Benson & Hedges.
May need 2 or3 flushes to get the pile moved
May need 2 or3 flushes to get the pile moved
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