Golf
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14 Apr 14
16:35
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Date Joined:
09 Sep 03
"Your still away"
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Replies: 62
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"Are you sure that was a six ?"
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In answer to the query "whats over there ?" , the comment "dont know , nobody has ever been there before " . Rory has had 2 of those at least , both at Augusta . And officially , Ernie .
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"still you"
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FORE
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"I'd get that rash checked out by a doctor, just to be on the safe side"
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Probably only concussion.
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Can I take a mulligan?
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You're teeing up after Kevin Na...
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"another quadruple bogey for charles howell"
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a loudly shouted "mashed potato" . wtf does it mean anyway?
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That the shouter is mindless , sandsave .
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TEN AND EIGHT
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Thats you 9down way 9 to play
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I THINK YOU SHOULD HIT A PROVISIONAL BALL (nap)
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Anyone got any spare golf balls in their bag ? ( happened to us via a friend we took to Newcastle on a very windy day as it happened --lost 5 balls in the first 6 holes ) .
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theres a tuurd in the bunker
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"IN THE HOOOOOLLLLLLE !!!" - stupid f*ckin wYANK with beers in both hands.
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I THINK YOU SHOULD HIT A PROVISIONAL BALL (nap)
yes!!!! hate that. mostly at away comps. |
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Anyone see where that went?
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Have heard that one a lot , therhino , particularly from players who dont have the best sight . Some eye help works on golf courses , some doesn't . Always wondered how anyone visually impaired( even marginally) managed to play . We had the World Blind champioships here in the North of Ireland a few years ago , shook my head at that one , tricky . And one of the celebrations was a big firework display --wonder how many competitors appreciated that ?
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Golf for the blind? All about empowerment and equal oppurtunity and all that jazz, but how long did the rounds take?
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Not sure , therhino . One of the guys had a very decent gross score on one of our good local courses , but guess some were partially sighted . A lot had helpers who lined them up and talked them though the shots , but guess it would be slow on average ( maybe not five and a half hours though , which now appears to be par for the course , mores the pity ).
There is no limit to human ingenuity though , even if its an absolute minority involved . |
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i played with a blind chap, his caddie spotted for him and lined him up
i also played with a british one armed champion great blokes, didnt take much longer than any other rounds, both were better players than me at the time |
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"you can have that, thanks for the game ..."
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You did say you were playing with a Titliest 5 didnt you ?
After uve just paid your green fees the starter says Enjoy your round lads and by the way its winter greens. |
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Heard on the green - "touch of a Blacksmith".
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During a county foursome match...nervy player popping up out of a gorse bush asking for change for a twenty..
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If the blind golfers take too long they could always play at night.
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at school my pal always caddied for partiall sighed man who never tipped him, he rectified the tip problem by saying " I think you need a reload mr.." he would then pick up the guys original ball on the fairway as they waked to the provisional ans sel him a few of his own balls back to him a few weeks later
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TOP TEN CADDY COMMENTS.......
10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now." 7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually." 6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence." 5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass." 4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." 3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." 2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." 1 Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir." |
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"Great Shot !!!....just hope it got over the water/out of bounds".
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You've got about 3ft..from that alligator
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They're probably out of your range now. I'll give them a couple of minutes.
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In matchplay after looking for his ball in the rough for about 7/8 minutes......"FOUND IT !"
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"Have you got your tickets lads ? "
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"GET IN THE HOLE !!!" (just as Mile Weir tees off on the 434yd par 4 10th in Texas).........HOW IN THE FU8K - YOU DUMB YANK.
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"You guys hit. I gotta take this call."
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ttt
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Your standing to close to the ball [ just after youve just topped it 5 yards in front of you ] lol
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