General Betting
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After having my head stuck in numbers for the last few hours I found my mind wandering..... to some of the funny things I have seen on CV's. I obviously need a break so I thought I'd start a thread on here and see if anyone else has some gems
A couple of funny ones stuck out. ( bear in mind these CV's were for Computer Programming Jobs )
The best by far was:
an *NVQ in "Safe and proper use of a stapler"
*NVQ = National Vocational Qualification, and according to the government at the time were equivilent to an A Level, so this guy had an A Level in using a stapler.
This is not verbatim but fairly close.....
199x to 199y: Programmer at Liverpool Council:
The office is located on the 2nd floor, if you go up the stairs and take the 2nd door on the left I sat at a desk on the right.
Hobbies: None, I just watch TV
anybody got any funny CV stories ?
A couple of funny ones stuck out. ( bear in mind these CV's were for Computer Programming Jobs )
The best by far was:
an *NVQ in "Safe and proper use of a stapler"
*NVQ = National Vocational Qualification, and according to the government at the time were equivilent to an A Level, so this guy had an A Level in using a stapler.
This is not verbatim but fairly close.....
199x to 199y: Programmer at Liverpool Council:
The office is located on the 2nd floor, if you go up the stairs and take the 2nd door on the left I sat at a desk on the right.
Hobbies: None, I just watch TV
anybody got any funny CV stories ?
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Not on a CV but a bloke turned up late for an interview at a place I worked,the reason he gave was that someone had stolen his front door.....he got the job!
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Guy who said on CV there were 3 pages, but there were only 1.
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Talking of front doors, the post office wouldn't cash a mate's giro because he had no ID on him. The woman kept saying to him "you'll have to come back down with something with your name on it". "Will my front door do" he replied.
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I always get a kick out of reading something along the lines of "Strengths - attention to detial"
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Thou shalt proclaim a love for the cinema under 'hobbies and interests'.
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MY fav's are CV of recent graduates, usually they have very little work experience and so embellish quite badly what they do have.
Best one I seen was someone who had introduced "revolutionary" new practices to his department, which had then been adopted globally by his employers who were a multi billion pound corporation. The savings were in millions. I then read his job title and dates of employment, he was shelf stacker at Tesco's over the summer. I written "BULL****" in big letters across his CV and put in reject pile. |
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"I realize that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment."
"You are privileged to receive my resume." And finally, how to answer the famous "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXop3zIPkic |
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My fav was a really good looking resume I got 30 years ago when most were printed on dot matrix printers.
Most recent employment: Domestic Management Consultant I had to read half a page before I realized she had been a housewife for the last 6 years. |
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^^^^
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betting_quant 06 Feb 11 13:59
MY fav's are CV of recent graduates, usually they have very little work experience and so embellish quite badly what they do have. Best one I seen was someone who had introduced "revolutionary" new practices to his department, which had then been adopted globally by his employers who were a multi billion pound corporation. The savings were in millions. I then read his job title and dates of employment, he was shelf stacker at Tesco's over the summer. _________________ Tescos are a multi billion pound set up ,he may have been right |
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^ I think the guy invented a machine to stack shelves, saving the company millions in wages.
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could of been telling the truth still the ammount of things tesco's come up with
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