Is it 'anything goes' on Betfair or not?

They should suspend allowing for the delay in implementing it.On
ATR that's just inside of the last furlong!

noodles

welcome to my world.....

The camera pans to a window in the building. Cut to the office inside, where a board meeting is taking place. The Chairman is Mr Tid. 

Mr Tid  Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for the design of this...(he is distracted by the two Gumbys still shouting)... Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for the design of this...(shouts out of window at the gumbys) Shut up! Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions...(but the gumbys is still shouting 'Architects Sketch'; he throws a bucket of water over them; they subside, damply) Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for the design of this for the design of this residential block, and I thought it best that the architects themselves came in to explain the advantages of both designs. (knock at door) That must be the first architect noow. (Mr Wiggin comes in) Ah, yes - it's Mr Wiggin of Ironside and Malone. 

Wiggin walks to the table on which his model stand. 

Mr Wiggin  Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelwe-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these... 

First City Gent  Excuse me.... 

Mr Wiggin  Hm? 

First City Gent  Did you say knives? 

Mr Wiggin  Rotating knives, yes. 

Second City Gent  Are you proposing to slaughter our tenants? 

Mr Wiggin  Does that not fit in with your plans? 

First City Gent  No, it does not. We asked for a simple block of flats. 

Mr Wiggin  Oh, I see. I hadn't correctly divined your attitude towards your tenants. You see I mainly design slaughter houses. Yes, pity. Mind you, this is a real beaut. I mean, none of your blood caked on the walls and flesh flying out of the windows, inconveniencing the passers-by with this one. I mean, my life has been building up to this. 

Second City Gent  Yes, and well done, but we want a block of flats. 

Mr Wiggin  May I ask you to reconsider. I mean, you wouldn't regret it. Think of the tourist trade. 

First City Gent  No, no, it's just that we wanted a block of flats, not an abattoir. 

Mr Wiggin  Yes, well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss about the struggling artist. (shouting) You excrement! You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn't become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking, purulent knees and begged me. 

Second City Gent  Well, we're sorry you feel like that but we, er, did want a block of flats. Nice though the abattoir is. 

Mr Wiggin  Oh (blows raspberry) the abattoir, that's not important. But if any of you could put in a word for me I'd love to be a freemason. Freemasonry opens doors. I mean, I was...I was a bit on edge just now, but if I were a mason I'd sit at the back and not get in anyone's way. 

First City Gent  Thank you. 

Mr Wiggin  I've got a second-hand apron. 

Second City Gent  Thank you.

Mr Wiggin  (going to door but stopping) I nearly got in at Hendon. 

First City Gent  Thank you. 

Mr Wiggin leaves and the familiar figure of Mr Tid comes forward. 

Mr Tid  I'm sorry about that, gentlemen. The second architect is Mr Leavey of Wymis and Dibble. 

Mr Leavey comes in and goes to his model. 

Mr Leavey  Good morning gentlemen. This is a scale model of the block. There are twenty-eight storeys, with two hundred and eighty modern apartments. There are three main lifts and two service lifts. Access would be from Dibbingley Road. (the model falls over, and he quickly puts it upright) The structure is built on a central pillar system (the model falls over again) with (he puts model upright and holds onto it) cantilevered floors in pre-stressed steel and concrete. The dividing walls on each floor section are fixed by recessed magnalium flanged grooves. (the model partly collapses, the bottom ten floors giving way) By avoiding wood and timber derivatives and all other flammables (the model is smoking and flames are seen) we have almost totally removed the risk of... 

SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'SATIRE' 

Mr Leavey  Quite frankly, I think the central pillar system may need strengthening a bit. 

Second City Gent  Isn't that going to put the cost up? 

Mr Leavey  It might. 

Second City Gent  Well, I don't know whether I'd worry about strengthening that much. After all, they're not meant to be luxury flats. 

First City Gent  I quite agree. I mean, providing the tenants are of light build and relatively sedentary and er, given a spot of good weather, I think we're on to a winner here. 

Mr Leavey  Thank you. 

The model explodes. 

Second City Gent  Quite agree. Quite agree. 

Mr Leavey  Thank you very much. Thank you. (he shakes hands with them in an extraordinary way) 

Mr Wiggin  (at door) It opens doors, I'm telling you. 

Voice Over  Let's have a look at that handshake again in slow motion.