Suarez: "I lost balance and hit my face against Chiellini"

what a fcuking embarrassment of a man

I was holding a bacon sarnie this morning when I "lost my balance".  Before I knew it, the sandwich had disappeared and I had a satisfying feeling in my tummy.

the bloke doesnt even think hes done anything wrong. Should be banned for life.

I was walking through the kitchen, when suddenly I slipped on the wet floor and this big black dil-do went up my a5se. Says the husband to his wife who walked in the room.

Of course he knows he has done wrong.  He has been told what to say by his defence team in prep for their upcoming challenge

Terrible things can happen when you lose your balance^^

it's the South American mentality, they are all hard done by and will never admit they cheat

cheating , biting, racism and now a liar

well done suarez

Cue his scouse ar5e licking chums piping up about how very credible his defence is.

you had to laugh at the vicar story.

what is worse - sticking a potato where it shouldn't be stuck or standing naked at your window with no curtains up flashing all your parishioners.

That's quite a high risk strategy from Suarez. The appeal panel may take a dim view of his lack of remorse which is quite clear from this bizarre statement.

if all aberrant behaviour was illness we'd have no prisons only hospitals

he should try comedy, he's funnier than john bishop already

Jun 28, 2014 -- 3:59PM, Eeternaloptimist wrote:

That's quite a high risk strategy from Suarez. The appeal panel may take a dim view of his lack of remorse which is quite clear from this bizarre statement.

Isn't the quote from his defence to the original charge, now released by FIFA? If so, it may help explain FIFAs unusually strong stance.

Any Blackadder Goes Forth fans?  I suspect even George would have have come up with a more sophisticated case for the defence.

It probably just wound them up no end. No apology or nothing.

all he has to say is he bit him because he didnt like him - no problem

Had  Uruguay banned him for the World Cup, he admitted it, said sorry, admitted he has a problem and said he'd seek immediate help it would have been interesting how long Fifa would have banned him for.  I suspect there wouldn't have been a club ban.

Not him but the whole f ucking country (Uruguay) is deluded..conspiracy theories that England was behind a smear campagne despite being knocked out before Uruguay and nothing to gain, the severity of the punishment despite him doing the same thing twice before  and racially abusing a player. Get rid of this waste of space once and for all. Falling on the player, what utter bo11ocks...why didn't he protest his innocense at the time. Can you imagine if a lesser profile footballer had done this, he would have been laughed out of the sport. I hope Uruguay are smashed today, no doubt they will find someone else to blame for that too.

Jun 28, 2014 -- 4:06PM, elise wrote:

he should try comedy, he's funnier than john bishop already

Naturally, it's not John Bishop's fault.

Where are all the LFC fans rushing to defend this deluded mug?

Or have they finally throw in the towel in having to defend the ludicrous situations this cretin continues to heap upon your once great club?

When he finally gets his chance of a  move, he'll drop you lot like a bad habit.

It's the sort of excuse A+E surgeons here as they are standing looking at an X-Ray of a buzz lightyear doll 8" up someones rectum.

I don't know where the hamster got the amphetamines from but when I woke up in the morning it had buried it's way up my @r5e, honest

here = hear. Damn the english language and its .. soundalikeonyms.

My 11 my year old son has just told me that a boy at his school bit his mum the other dy because she told him off for being naughty. When the mum asked him what the hell he thought he was doing he replied "I'm just doing a Suarez."

Just goes to show how much damage these guys can do to young impressionable minds!

look up the charateristics of the narcissist  - unable to apologize and never think they have done anything wrong - ever.

unfortunately not treatable. social services should be asking the courts to take his children...

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/luis-suarez-bite-child-seven-3778782

i was gonna say i tripped up and my penis got stuck in the end of the hoover attachment. but i see ive been beat to it.

if jerry adams and mcguiness get away with it , suarez is a saint compared with

As Eminem once said " she tripped fell and landed on his prick " more of the same I think lol

17 years ago today, Mike Tyson lost his balance and ended up eating half of Evander Holyfield's ear.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/luis-suarez-accused-head-butting...

That's luis-suarez-accused-head-butting-young-3783226

In a world where footballers are treated like gods is anyone surprised they act like complete ****s?

Ulrika Jonsson once lost her balance and fell onto Stan Collymore's fist.  Ryan Giggs has accidentally fallen onto his sister-in-law whilst they both happened to be naked.  Several times.  People should be more careful.

Luganos claims were also hilariously deluded, they're a vile team but let's not also forget the third knob in this incident Chiellini. One of the biggest thugs in the game crying for video evidence, if it was fairly used against him he wouldnt be on a football pitch ever. He should probably get tested for aids now though

I thought for a second that he might hold his hands up for once based on his reaction at FT. 

Fifa should double the ban for such a pathetic explanation.  Might have a tiny ounce of respect if he'd just admitted he snapped in the moment

while I agree that suarez deserves all he gets, I don't for a second believe any of these sensationalised newspaper stories about young kids biting because they saw suarez do it. 

that's all made up junk by so called journalists who are still annoyed that suarez helped knock england out of the world cup.

If he is still in denial then obviously he's learned fcukall.

journalists who are still annoyed that suarez helped knock england out of the world cup.

I haven't heard anyone complain about Suarez knocking England out. I have however heard may people complain about the England players, the manager & whole FA set-up.

lets hope these mums and dads that are so outraged by the biting incident which may influence their children to do the same , take their violent video games of them and put them in the bin , re luis statement , bloody hell it gets worse , i think maybe that fifa have leaked this to show the south americans what they were up against , feel sorry for the fella , he needs some sort of help , he is in complete denial , and all the bans in the world will mean f uck all if he doesnt get help

one thing is for certain he shouldn't be anywhere near a football field until he's had that help and that could take years.

as for the red shoi'te they are in a desperate situation, will they take a low fee to get rid of him or keep him and hope and pray he doesn't bite for a fourth time, they'll get flook all with a year or life times ban.

Suarez's excuse is very reminiscent of Chris Morris' parody of the US Senator and his involuntary, random wánking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER0zKTGI2g8

The thing is, if he is not going to admit it, then should he be allowed to play at all?

It's a ridiculous excuse - he's just making things worse for himself. He would get more respect if he admits he has a problem and will be seeking help. I don't know who his PR people are but they have badly misjudged this one.