Is there anything that doesn't go on crumpets?

I like em Cornish, jam and (only extra thick double) cream. Fried egg on the giant ones is good.

Peas?

marmite

Tripe

Graham Norton

Cheese and bacon

Lemon curd

scrambled egg & smoked salmon

bats

Crispy streaky bacon with runny poached eggs on top of well toasted crumpets is my favourite breakfast, lots of  H P sauce of course.

Peanut butter

Sometimes I make my own but you have to do it a few hours before you want it to give the yeast time to work.