If your a hippy and your thinking of going to India this year

All the hippies I knew have gone bald.

Many became private Ganja Farmers and sang around the camp fire

I've never sat round a camp fire my mum told me to  keep away from them incase they do something rude to me

I once went to middlewood scout site with the boy scouts .but we never sat round the fire and sang songs we had to go to bed early because no one had any matches

Talking of boy scouts that reminds me of a sad story .three from my group
went on a hike along striding edge on Helvellyn and only one returned .
I told the other two their hats were too big .when they kept falling over their eyes but they wouldn't listen

I never got my knots badge .I had to put elastic bands around the loose bread wrapper to hold my butties together

I've never been to India, I was invited to go about 20 years ago but the trip involved going to the Ganges river to see the locals dump the dead bodies (apparently 35,000 per annum) in the river which is the most polluted river on the planet and I just did not fancy that at all.

I've been to India, the mossies were the size of bats.

I was going to join the merchant navy untill the captain of the ship  that I was assigned to .realised I couldn't fasten my shoelaces

Slippy I know it's polluted but I never knew they put dead bodies in it

They must wash them before they put them in its unhygenic

If you didn't already know that they put dead bodies in the gangees .it could give you a shock if you went for a swim and you saw one floating past you .
You might even get upset if you say good morning to them and don't reply to you
You might think that all Indians are impolite

You would look a right fool if you went to the police station and said do you know there's
A large number of dead bodies floating in the gangees

The police might get annoyed with you especially  if their on their dinner break
They must get fed up of tourists reporting dead bodies in the gangees

I bet my children would put me in before I died if I lived there

"If you didn't already know that they put dead bodies in the gangees .it could give you a shock if you went for a swim and you saw one floating past you .
You might even get upset if you say good morning to them and don't reply to you
You might think that all Indians are impolite"

I like that Diddy, that tickled my funny bone