Chit Chat
There is currently 1 person viewing this thread.
14 Aug 19
12:32
Joined:
Date Joined:
24 Jul 06
You would have thought they would have waited for a better day when it wasn't raining
sort by:
Show
per page
Replies: 35
|
By:
My friend once asked me to go hiking with him .I said it's raining I'm not going to get wet
He said well we could go hiking around the trafford center I said m not walking around the trafford center with my ruck sack on my back . He said I didn't have to I could put it in my shopping trolley |
|
By:
Your friend sounds a very sensible man Do Wah Diddy
 |
|
By:
There was about six Chinese people all sat on chairs near the stairs to the upper floor
,all waiting to have their fortune read at a small tent There was a sign that said get your fortune told today by the famous chinese fortune teller Ho Lee Che Che who has just flown in from China I said I'm having some of that .but my friend said he wanted to visit the Disney shop To buy a sleeping beauty toothbrush He asked me what the Chinese famous fortune teller had seen in her crystal ball .I said I don't know she only spoke Chinese .and she must have come from the country not the main towns, as she had a Chinese dialect that I had never heard before .not even when I worked on the manchester market near China town |
|
By:
Mind you he also sounds a bit of a looney as well if I am honest
 |
|
By:
Even a Chinese lady who had been in said that she found it hard to understand her especially with her stutter
|
|
By:
|
|
By:
This is a gambling forum...so we must all have some faith about seeing into the future?
Not necessarily successfully  |
|
By:
He went in boots the chemist to see if they had anything for a size 7 brown leather hiking boot .
He told the assistant its outer skin kept peeling He was a bit looney. Anyone could see it was black not brown |
|
By:
I then went into the Barclays bank to draw some money out
The girl said I needed some sort of identification . My friend told her I was the real do wah diddy .and even though some on the betform still think I'm an imposter he could verify it. He told her to ask me what was the first car I bought .I said an escort 1300E He then said that's right I can verify that She said I need a passport to verify myself .I told her I spent all my money on gambling And could not afford a passprt She said well show you my driving licence ,I said I've not got a car because ive lost all my money gambling I said I can show you my bus ticket(this was before I got my free bus pass) She said so you've not spent your bus fare gambling .I said yes I have my friend lent me the money untill I get my pention She put her coat on .i said I hope your not going for your dinner she no .I'm going looking for another job |
|
By:
We both had a pleasant surprise we went in the toilets and every single cubicle had some toilet paper in
We went to customer service and asked them to congratulate the toilet staff The one thing I like about my friend is that he's like me .We both say congratulations where congratulations deserved . We both think it's another saying but we still say that as we both know what we mean |
|
By:
Lots of people shop there with credit cards .They might dress nice but 99% of them are upto their neck in debt
|
|
By:
They Walk about with new goochee bags and new shannel perfume bags and new French connection fashion bags .They order cucumber sandwiches and Amazonian fresh coffee in posh eateries.
When they don't even throw a five pence piece into the save the pit bull terrier from being put down charity fountain Their all show |
|
By:
They Walk about with new goochee bags and new shannel perfume bags and new French connection fashion bags .They order cucumber sandwiches and Amazonian fresh coffee in posh eateries.
When they don't even throw a five pence piece into the save the pit bull terrier from being put down charity fountain Their all show |
|
By:
These are the type of parents who say they can't afford to give anything to the school fund while they have designer verginas and 95% lycra tummy tuck knickers
|
|
By:
We both had enough .we ate our banana butties and had our flask of tea andcgot the bus home
|
|
By:
No wonder they are not having as many children ,the counts don't have the time.
|
|
By:
Flush when I first came on here.I Thought you was very intelligent .and especially as your wife made things for the village hall charities.I thought you might have been related to burns or the earl of Sandringham ,I thought this man is no type cast Scotsman this is a learned man .I Thought you were different from the rest of us on here .
But just as usual I'm wrong your just the same as us |
|
By:
A man's a man for a that!
|
|
By:
I still like you alot .but I know now that you don't own a castle with a moat and have your own marching bagpipe band
|
|
By:
A small bungalow and a kazoo
|
|
By:
It's funny you should mention a kazoo.ive always said since I bought a plastic kazoo for 40p many years ago that if anyone ever sold them outside a football ground say for 2 pounds .they could make a fortune .a kazoo is just the thing football fans would take too
I can see them playing when the reds go marching in And the Blaydon races And I'm for ever blowing bubbles etc I have my finger on the pulse of what the football fan wants You could order them from China in different colours in plastic |
|
By:
Is it an inside kazoo?
|
|
By:
They do inside kazoos now?
|
|
By:
I can see thousands walking down Wembley way playing their Der Ders
People would look forward to fans playing their Der Ders before and during the match . Some clever fans might even write their own football anthems for a Der Der or even an opera if theve performed in a school band I'm 100% certain that a kazoo Der Der is a winner for the football fan |
|
By:
There's some flash coonts round here with 3 inside kazoos.
|
|
By:
They commissioned them for the 2010 world cup, Do wah, but they got the spec wrong and could only play 1 note.
|
|
By:
Match of the day could start with different teams kazoo fans playing their own version of the theme tune each sat
There could be kazoo Der Der player of the year The opportunities are endless keith Malone. could have football choirs of the preimership With the top two and bottom two getting promoted and relegated With the final kazoo Der Der final being played at Wembley With guest appearance of football fan of the year individual kazoo Der Der player Then like i say Europe and Eurovision kazoo player of the year Then the world is your oyster for the football kazoo Der Der player |
|
By:
The kazoo Der der is not like them horns at the world cups which got on your nerves
The kazoo Der Der has its own sound which football fans would def take too THIS IS NOT A JOKE THIS IS A CERTAIN VENTURE THAT WOULD BE VERY PROFITABLE FOR THOSE WHO INVESTED IN IT AND GOT PEOPLE TO SELL THEM OUTSIDE FOOTBALL GROUNDS EVER SINCE I BOUGHT ONE THEN SIX FOR THE LADS IN THE CLUB .I KNEW THAT THEY WOULD BE APPRECIATED WE PLAYED EVERYTHING FROM WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL TO URBAN SPACEMAN ON THEM ONE FRIDAY NIGHT IN THE CLUB BEFORE THE COMMITTEE BANNED THEM |
|
By:
The kazoo Der der is not like them horns at the world cups which got on your nerves
The kazoo Der Der has its own sound which football fans would def take too THIS IS NOT A JOKE THIS IS A CERTAIN VENTURE THAT WOULD BE VERY PROFITABLE FOR THOSE WHO INVESTED IN IT AND GOT PEOPLE TO SELL THEM OUTSIDE FOOTBALL GROUNDS EVER SINCE I BOUGHT ONE THEN SIX FOR THE LADS IN THE CLUB .I KNEW THAT THEY WOULD BE APPRECIATED WE PLAYED EVERYTHING FROM WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL TO URBAN SPACEMAN ON THEM ONE FRIDAY NIGHT IN THE CLUB BEFORE THE COMMITTEE BANNED THEM |
|
By:
If they played the national anthem on kazoos it would certainly get more respect than them hoity toity opera bints.
|
|
By:
This is serious just like I noticed the gap in the market for large size fashion many years ago
Then I noticed the gap in the market for a cheap musical instrument that would appeal to the football fan A kazoo Der Der is that instrument I'm 100% certain all it needs Is some to buy some and sell them out side a football ground one sat and the rest will be history |
|
By:
IT HAS A BIGGER SALES POTENTIAL
THAN THE HOOLA HOOP,RUBIC CUBE AND -YO YO SALES COMBINED NOT ONLY IS IT CHEAP .YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A BEETHOVEN OR MOZART TO PLAY ONE. ANY ONE CAN LEARN TO PLAY ONE IN SECONDS AND IT CAN BE STORED AWAY EASILY |
|
By:
I just hope the football fans rename it the do wah diddy Der Der .and make sure I get some of the profits and am recognised by the queen in her Honours list and my service to music is appreciated .even at award ceremonies I would like my awards to be presented to my friends and family as they still drink and I would not go as I couldn't watch all that free alcohol wasted by me drinking coco cola all night
|
|
By:
I can see all my friends and family playing their do wah diddy kazoo Der Ders after a few pints .and it would be the best awards ceremony ever
|
|
By:
I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS THATS WHY I'M GOING BEFOR PEOPLE THINK IM KIDDING
IM SERIOUS THIS I A GREAT MONEY MAKING VENTURE BYE BYE |