Anyone fancy starting an all male comedy writing team?

Also, ladees wanted for tea making duties &c

OK, you start.

Angry Old Men ?
More like furious, deranged, certifiable, clinically insane, shouldn't be trusted with sharp instruments Old Men.

Ok, I'll need to work on that.

Back to my nothing idea, I've written a draft script …….

GEORGE: I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: NOTHING.

RUSSELL: Nothing?

GEORGE: (Smiling) Nothing.

RUSSELL: (Unimpressed) What does that mean?

GEORGE: The show is about nothing.

JERRY: (To George) Well, it's not about nothing.

GEORGE: (To Jerry) No, it's about nothing.

JERRY: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.


SUSAN: What's the premise?

JERRY: ..Well, as I was saying, I would play myself, and, as a comedian, living in New York, I have a friend, a neighbour, and an ex-girlfriend, which is all true.

GEORGE: Yeah, but nothing happens on the show. You see, it's just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read.. You eat, you read, You go shopping.

RUSSELL: You read? You read on the show?

JERRY: Well, I don't know about the reading.. We didn't discuss the reading.

RUSSELL: All right, tell me, tell me about the stories. What kind of stories?

GEORGE: Oh, no. No stories.

RUSSELL: No stories? So, what is it?

GEORGE: (Showing an example) What'd you do today?

RUSSELL: I got up and came to work.

GEORGE: There's a show. That's a show.

RUSSELL: (Confused) How is that a show?

JERRY: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work.

GEORGE: No, no, no. Nothing happens.

JERRY: Well, something happens.

RUSSELL: Well, why am I watching it?

GEORGE: Because it's on TV.

Yes, it could get ugly.

Ok. What about a Brexit based sit-com then, we could set in the Rory Stewart future around a citizens assembly.

A random selection of lunatics locked in a room to decide on a compromise withdrawal agreement, not allowed to emerge until they have agreement, only limited food supplies and water provided.

Could throw in some elements of Twelve Angry Men along with nods to Rising Damp and The Office.
Could even explore cannibalism when the food supplies run low, before a solution is agree upon.

When they emerge from the room, solution in hand, David Cameron is standing there to greet them, dressed in white robes and with a Jesus style beard.
And holding a giant "April Fool" placard as the referendum didn't really take place after all, it was just a bad dream.

How does that grab you

Yeah, good point.

I've got another idea that involves giant squirrels, need to firm it up though.

From little acorns...

They are trying a US version of peep show with Mark and Jez replaced by female roles - can't wait

They decide to stop at the Zoo.

Trilby - "Let`s visit the monkey house and see the Chimps".

Aka - "That`s a good idea".

The two of them stop, lean on the wall and look at the Chimps.

Keeper - "Will you two please keep moving, we are doing a stock take".

The two of them go to the café for a snack.

Aka (nudging Trilby) "FFS Trilby, don`t look over there, Mac is sitting on the corner".

Trilby (with a surprised look) "Come on Aka, he ain`t that bad".

Aka "No, but if he sees us he might give us one of his tips"!

Trilby (laughing) "Aye, the last winner he bet was ridden by Lester Piggott"!

They decide to make their escape and head back to the car. They are driving by past the local Council offices when Aka notices something unusual.

Aka - "Wait Trilby. Look over there. That wee auld wife sitting on the wall outside the Council office looks very distressed and that young woman is trying to comfort her".

Trilby - "Aye Aka, she sure does look upset, let`s stop and try to help".

They stop the car and as they get near they notice that the old woman has a £20 note sticking out her left ear and a fiver sticking out of the other one. She is weeping and the younger woman is trying to assist her.

Trilby - "Is the auld yin alright dear? What`s wrong with her"?

Young woman - "She`s £25 in arrears"!

Who invented the first plane that didn't fly?

The Wrong brothers.

If you show us your willee.

So I said to this bloke "it's nice out"

"keep dreaming sonny, you're in for life.

That`s the thanks I get for trying to get you and Trilby a BAFTA