My Fortunate Life

I've lived about 18,000 days. Let's go with that. 18k.


I've made my own dinner about 50 times. Not even that.

Making your own dinner means buying the stuff. Then peeling and cutting and preparing. Then cooking.

The more I think about it the less I think it's ever happened.


I'm thinking 20s.

I don't think I've ever made my own lunch. My Mum made my lunch to take to school. Peanut butter sandwiches. Or Vegemite sandwiches.

Since 1987 my wife makes lunch. Usually Ham cheese tomato and lettuce. Occasionally I get my own. That entails buying a hamburger at a take away shop.

So wife makes lunch 99%.

I've been alive 18,000 days but I've never washed my clothes.

I've tried ironing a few times but it's a job best left to the experts.

Do you mainly indulge in scratching your arse and farting?

I've used the vacuum cleaner a few times. That's kinda fun!!

Interesting thread with potential ...

Not at all Mouse. I'm actually very busy!

I can say with quite a degree of confidence that I have done the washing up at least 100 times.

the secret with the ironing is to volunteer enthusiastically but make such a pigs ear of it
the misses loses patience and bans you from any future attempts.
i'm fairly sure she did exactly the same with setting up anything electrical and mowing the lawn.

A few words in my defence. Regarding my Mum that's what Mums do.

Regarding my wife. What can she do? I have a HUGE and ETERNALLY HARD C0CK that she CANNOT help but WORSHIP. Thus her offerings of Ham and Salad rolls on a Sesame Seed Bun. And endless clothes washing.

Yeah ok that might not be true. I think northanlite is close to the truth. SHE does stuff inside the house. HE does stuff outside the house. There's no doubt there's a lot more day to day work inside the house than outside.

And there's still no doubt that two women have virtually done every single in my life for me. I recognise that. And I'm grateful. I'm a lazy cxnt and I love it!!

I'm eagerly awaiting the 'I mowed my next door neighbours lawn when bored one Sunday' episode.

Keep eating Ham, you won't be here for the next 20 years