Was thinking of going on a cruise....

^ Tales from the riverbank ?

I like cruising  - oh whoops !!  I see what ..........eerrr!!!

Norovirus a big danger !

No....not rubbish.....Cup-reporter !

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https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2014/nov/16/crown-princess-cruise-ship-norovirus-cdc-172-people


The Centers for Disease Control said on Sunday that 172 people on a cruise ship arriving in California had fallen ill with the highly contagious norovirus during a nearly month-long trip.

The Crown Princess has more than 4,100 people on board; it was scheduled to be met by CDC staff upon arrival in San Pedro. CDC staff will conduct testing and evaluate the response.

In April, 129 people on the same ship contracted norovirus during a seven-day cruise off the California coast.

Princess Cruises did not immediately provide comment.

The CDC said the cruise line was consulting with it to ensure the ship was sanitised and disinfected before it was used for another trip on Sunday.

Norovirus symptoms include vomiting, diarrhoea, fever and body aches. The CDC says most people recover within three days.

....and here :
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https://www.theguardian.com/society/2012/dec/13/christmas-cruise-plague-ship-norovirus-outbreak

A small percentage of people in an even small percentage of cruises.

You wouldn't want to be trapped on a boat in Paris. That would be insane.

I used to work on a cruise ship in the Caribbean in the 80's when I was a croupier.
Best job ever. Til I missed the ship. That made for an interesting few days.

Have you been writing headlines for the tabloids today Crisp?

It could be on the cards.
That's my only one, I promise.

Yep.
Grand Cayman.

A magician was working on a cruise ship.

Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"Okay, I give up. Where's the ****g ship??

I had no money, passport was on the ship, and I was with a Canadian girl who worked in the gift shop.
We just got the time wrong and the ship was about 3 miles out when we noticed. We heard the 1/2
hour warning hooter, but thought it was for the other ship that was visiting but left and hour before ours. turns out it left an hour AFTER ours.

Yes I did get fired, eventually, once I got back to Miami, as much for being a young flash wakner as for missing the ship. It's quite a long story, I'll save it for another day

so what you saying STUDYFORM, you got confused by which big hooters you were supposed to be paying attention to? Wouldn't be the first.