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Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an chase thee,
Wi murdering pattle!
I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion.
An fellow mortal!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve:
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma request;
I'll get a blessin wi the lave,
An never miss't!
Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
Its silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An naething, now, to big a new ane,
O foggage green!
An bleak December's win's ensuin.
Baith snell an keen!
Thou saw the fields laid bare an waste,
An weary winter comin fast.
An cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro thy cell.
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an chase thee,
Wi murdering pattle!
I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion.
An fellow mortal!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve:
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma request;
I'll get a blessin wi the lave,
An never miss't!
Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
Its silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An naething, now, to big a new ane,
O foggage green!
An bleak December's win's ensuin.
Baith snell an keen!
Thou saw the fields laid bare an waste,
An weary winter comin fast.
An cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro thy cell.
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Here are the other three verses 
That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!
But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!
Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!
That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!
But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!
Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!
What a disgrace. Promoting Haggis eating during Veganuary. 
What a disgrace. Promoting Whisky drinking during Dry January.
Wee sleekit bit of brochial phlegm
Is that the start of cancer then?
Is that the start of cancer then?
What a disgrace. Promoting Natural Culture during Brexit.
What a disgrace. Promoting National Culture during Brexit. 
Twas January 24, in the year of our Lord 2019
That officers from Police Scotland close to Wee Alec Salmond's bothy were suddenly seen
And they charged him with attempted rape and sexual assault all the while
But Contempt of Court laws mean I dare not write more, lest it prejudice the jury in any upcoming trial
- McGonnagal but they're all the same aren't they?
That officers from Police Scotland close to Wee Alec Salmond's bothy were suddenly seen
And they charged him with attempted rape and sexual assault all the while
But Contempt of Court laws mean I dare not write more, lest it prejudice the jury in any upcoming trial
- McGonnagal but they're all the same aren't they?
You get veggie Haggis crisp. Lot of it is oatmeal and onion with spices anyway.
Not sure alcohol free Whisky would be a big seller though ;)
My alcohol free vodka line didn't sell well, all that time sticking bottles under a tap, wasted.
Not sure alcohol free Whisky would be a big seller though ;)
My alcohol free vodka line didn't sell well, all that time sticking bottles under a tap, wasted.
every neet is burns neet when the frying pan comes oot
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