Whilst making love to your wife...

I never talk to my wife during sex; unless my phone's nearby.

"Do you mind if i turn you over so i can see kay on the TV"

Chinese couple on their wedding night and the old man asks for a 69 - "Feck off!" she says "I'm not cooking at this time of night"

I called her Samantha whilst I was in the process of blowing my beans, my then wife's name was Deborah. That didn't go down too well

I.A.W.N.

How about , what's the most inappropriate thing your lovely wives have each said to you , when you're on the job . " Oh , yes Culvin , put it there " says Torqs wife , and Torq replies " Who the fugg is Culvin ?  " Eh , what , what , what , did i say ? I don't know why i said calvin " Culvin you said , you dirty b1tch . " No i said calvin , i was thinking about buying you some calvin klein undies and that name just popped into my head ". Oh , ok darling , well you just turn over now and let me show you  , my love . I love you , darling . I love you too , my big sexy hunk of a man . " Now ram it up me , you bl00dy big bad monk " . SORRY Torquemada , just havin a little bit of fun .   I wish i had a wife .

I said "im going balls deep as hard as i can" she said "why can you torque em harder"

the 4 little words every man dreads ... "Are you in yet ?". .

or 'zzzzzz'

That has never once happened to me  zzzzzzzzzz. 

Perhaps several times but not once   


I forgot that old one  are you in yet  -  the old ones are best

at least that is what my lady says - and I am very old hahahah

SlippyBlue    23 Jan 19 17:09 
I called her Samantha whilst I was in the process of blowing my beans



You've read to many old fashioned books slippy, a profanity or two does for most of us