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themightymac
06 Dec 18 18:17
Joined:
Date Joined: 05 Apr 02
| Topic/replies: 31,333 | Blogger: themightymac's blog
Question: What was Hitler`s first name?

20-y-o Contestant: Heil.
Pause Switch to Standard View Daftest Answers on a TV Quiz
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Report houseofpain December 6, 2018 6:51 PM GMT
Q- In which country would you find Mt Everest.

A- England

Quiz master what made you think England, well i know they advertise on tv selling windows Laugh, one afternoon last week.
Report FOYLESWAR December 6, 2018 7:00 PM GMT
heil hitler !...........LaughLaughLaughLaughLaugh
Report i_agree_with_nick December 6, 2018 7:02 PM GMT
Alexander Armstrong: "Who was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas?"

Contestant: "JR."
Report donny osmond December 6, 2018 7:10 PM GMT
if you dont know the answer it is still better to guess, however much it makes folk laugh

some daft guesses turn out correct, and cash is won.


saying i dont know isnt really going to win you the show!


still get a laugh at some folk though.
Report grappler December 6, 2018 7:15 PM GMT
q. who killed jfk?

mightymac. the cia
Report grappler December 6, 2018 7:16 PM GMT
q. who killed david kelly?

mightymac. the british govt.
Report grappler December 6, 2018 7:17 PM GMT
q. who blew up the twin towers?

mightymac. the american govt.
Report grappler December 6, 2018 7:18 PM GMT
q. who killed princess di?

mightymac. the british govt.
Report i_agree_with_nick December 6, 2018 7:18 PM GMT
They often pass on The Chase on questions like:

In what country of the UK...

What colour...

How many...
Report themightymac December 6, 2018 7:24 PM GMT
grappler LaughLaugh
Report grappler December 6, 2018 7:29 PM GMT
only yesterday some idiot was asked to come up with the name of a spanish city on the mediterranean. after saying he didnt think spain had any part of the med coast the answer was; tuscany
Report themightymac December 6, 2018 7:38 PM GMT
University Challenge believe it or not. Buzzer question.

Bamber G: What was Ghandi`s first name?

Contestant: Goosey Goosey.


Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the

name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


Jamie Theakston: "Where do you think Cambridge University is?"

Contestant: "Geography isn't my strong point."

Theakston: "There's a clue in the title."

Contestant: "Leicester."


James O'Brien: "How many kings of England have been called Henry?"

Contestant: "Well, I know Henry VIII. So, um, three?"


America Quiz Show

Host: "Which European country is Budapest the capital of?"

Contestant: "This might be a stupid question. I thought Europe was a country? I know they speak French there, don't they? Is France a country?"


Jeremy Paxman: "What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?"

Contestant: "Homosexuals."

Paxman: "No. They're regiments in the British Army, who will be very upset with you."
Report themightymac December 6, 2018 7:43 PM GMT
Years ago, organising a work`s day out to Edinburgh, one eejit suggested, "We will meet at the train station at 8.00am - get a train to Perth and a bus to Edinburgh"

We all looked at each other in amazement and somebody said, "Why not get the train straight to Edinburgh?"

Eejit: "Have they got a train station in Edinburgh?"
Report Johnny_Mustang December 6, 2018 7:51 PM GMT
This takes some beating, from Family Fortunes:

Les - “Name a dangerous race”

Contestant - “Arabs”

Les - “I’m sorry, the top answer was the Grand National”
Report themightymac December 6, 2018 8:14 PM GMT
That`s a cracker LaughLaugh
Report themightymac December 6, 2018 8:15 PM GMT
Contest over JM Laugh
Report Johnny_Mustang December 6, 2018 9:20 PM GMT
Laugh
Report kenny mann December 6, 2018 9:25 PM GMT
Name sometyhing you take to the beach.

TURKEY

First thing you buy in a supermarket

TURKEY


Family Fortunes
Report Poppydog. December 6, 2018 9:43 PM GMT
A funny, yet thoroughly endearing, blonde on a 60s-70s US game-show

https://youtu.be/sulYyP7mGng

[1 min video]
Report kenny mann December 6, 2018 9:58 PM GMT
Quite a cutie, Poppy'.
Report acey deucy December 6, 2018 11:01 PM GMT
The funniest thing I have seen in my whole Life was an episode of The Weakest Link consisting of page three pin ups...Beyond embarrassing ffs.LaughLaugh
Report bigmo December 7, 2018 10:55 AM GMT
Quality comedy always stands the test of time. I still laughed at some of those again.
Report cooperman December 7, 2018 11:58 AM GMT
On US Mr. & Mrs. To Mrs., we asked your husband the strangest place you had sex (he answered in the back seat of my car). After some thought she replied, up my bottom. Laugh
Report lybertyne December 7, 2018 1:53 PM GMT
Jeremy Paxman: "What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?"

Contestant: "Homosexuals."

Paxman: "No. They're regiments in the British Army, who will be very upset with you."



I looked this up on Youtube.  The contestant answers in a deadpan, serious manner.  He wasn't trying to be funny, which in turn makes it funnier.  Best thing I've seen for ages.
Report crystalhunt December 7, 2018 4:15 PM GMT
Local pub quiz

Q - Which European country has jurisdiction over the Faroe Islands

A - Egypt
Report McCoy Carp December 7, 2018 4:20 PM GMT
Not exactly a question, but, working behind the bar, I said to my mate the other side (who isn't exactly the full ticket,) nip up the road and get me half a dozen lemons, to which he replied, "what's half a dozen?"
Report bigmo December 7, 2018 4:24 PM GMT
Laugh
Report mad mad moon December 7, 2018 4:36 PM GMT
3-2-1 classic
Ted Rogers "Composer, Born in Germany in 1757, he moved to Britain where he wrote The Messiah. You will certainly know his Handle.

Team A. Woman. Oh I know this from school, Handels Water Music
Ted. So the composer is?
Woman: Bernstein

Laughs from the audience

Team B man (looking puzzled) Err.........Beethoven!

It's on YouTube somewhere
Report TheGoldenVision December 7, 2018 5:13 PM GMT
This is one from Radio Merseysides Billy Butler Show...

BB "Who starred in the cowboy film The Searchers?"

After wracking her brains for 5 minutes she says, " Give us a clue Billy"

BB in his best John Wayne voice.. "The hell I will"

Contestant replies.. "Oh go on Billy. You give everyone else clues!"Laugh
Report i_agree_with_nick December 7, 2018 5:23 PM GMT
Family Fortunes

People with the surname Lee:

Christopher Lee
Bruce Lee
Ang Lee
Robert E. Lee
Muhammad R. Lee
Report crystalhunt December 7, 2018 5:35 PM GMT
Ran a quiz on a minibus returning from a day in the country with a bunch of scallies on a court order. Did it mainly to keep them quiet. One of the questions was "what was Beethoven's first name?"

Nobody knew the answer but one lad wouldn't give up and ten minutes later he said I've got it. Is it  Rollover.LaughLaugh
Report lovegod December 8, 2018 10:27 AM GMT
Not a question but years ago I went on a shop and asked for half a dozen stamps.

Bloke says 'we only sell them in sixes or twelves'.

So I said 'In that case I have six then'.
Report themightymac December 9, 2018 12:28 AM GMT
During the mad cow disease scare a guy in the pub asked me, "What about bacon, do you get that from a coo". Laugh
Report lybertyne December 9, 2018 12:41 AM GMT
Had a gf ask me once, after watching the film Willow, if midgets were real people.
Report akabula December 9, 2018 12:56 AM GMT
On Thursdays tipping point a contestant was asked which team Prince William supported.
The three choices were Aston Villa - Southampton Everton.
She called the right answer, Aston Villa, as they were from London she said.
Report MC560 dn December 9, 2018 7:01 PM GMT
My favourite was an old Family Fortunes one with Les Dennis.

"A survey of 100 people were asked to name an item of clothing"

Elderly Bloke presses buzzer with lightening reactions...

"My red cardigan Les".
Report i_agree_with_nick August 22, 2019 7:04 PM BST
Qu: The US city of Detroit is in what state?

A: Chaos?
Report dustybin August 22, 2019 7:12 PM BST
Q. Who painted the Mona Lisa?

A. Frank Bough
Report dustybin August 22, 2019 7:14 PM BST
Family Fortunes
'Name parts of the body you only have 1 of'

Wedding tackle
Big toe
Combine Harvester
Report leazes67 August 22, 2019 7:27 PM BST
And dear old David Lammy MP on celebrity mastermind..who succeeded Henry eighth answer Henry seventh.Laugh
Report EvgenyKissin August 22, 2019 7:31 PM BST
The placepot dividend should be good at Fontwell.
Report Percy Filth August 22, 2019 7:47 PM BST
Family Fortunes many years ago

Question "Name a type of ache"
Answer "fillet of fish"
Report stewarts rise August 22, 2019 8:12 PM BST
akabula 09 Dec 18 00:56 Joined: 13 Mar 08 | Topic/replies: 37,684 | Blogger: akabula's blog
On Thursdays tipping point a contestant was asked which team Prince William supported.
The three choices were Aston Villa - Southampton Everton.
She called the right answer, Aston Villa, as they were from London she said.

That reminds me of the Footballer David Unsworth who played for Everton, transferred to West Ham but wife wasn't happy in London so he sought a transfer back to near where he lived before, and obviously signed for Aston Villa because he thought it was near LiverpoolLaugh! Never played for Villa and about a F/N later moved back to Everton!
Report Hanx August 23, 2019 8:38 AM BST
https://youtu.be/DsR4Nx-ELgc

Just remember this next time you hear him rabbiting on about how Rees-Mogg is worse than the Nazis
Report iamajambo August 23, 2019 12:51 PM BST
Thread of the year,by far.LaughLaughLaugh
Report DIFERENT GRAVY 12 August 23, 2019 1:43 PM BST
Family Fortunes

Q. Name a bird with a long neck?

A. Naomi Campbell
Report DIFERENT GRAVY 12 August 23, 2019 11:15 PM BST
Family Fortunes

Q. Name a famous Willie?

A. Willie The Pooh
Report casemoney August 23, 2019 11:35 PM BST
Chris Tarrant Live Radio 

Question Name the Famous  Motor Racing Commentator

Woman , EEEEERRRRRRRRRRRm !!!!

Chris ,Named after something you can Suck ( referring to Murray Mints )

Woman " OH DICK , DICKIE DAVIS " >>>>>>

One minutes Radio Silence GrinLaughGrin
Report i_agree_with_nick September 9, 2019 9:08 PM BST
Qu. Which channel was formerly known as Oceanus Britannicus?

A. BBC1?
Report i_agree_with_nick February 13, 2020 3:39 PM GMT
Q: Who is the patron saint of accountancy?

A: St Ledger?
Report screaming from beneaththewaves February 13, 2020 4:25 PM GMT
My mate Pete, while walking through Hampton Court Palace: "What's that game they play here? Proper tennis?"

He's a clever bloke really, skilled at his job and I love him to bits, but foreign languages just aren't his strong point. I'll never forget him bitterly arguing with his first wife that the French word for a cow is le moulin.
Report Foinavon February 13, 2020 5:56 PM GMT
Just now on the chase
Bradley: which Swiss company makes Nespresso coffee pods?
The Beast: Nespresso
Brad: No
Contestants consult: Kinder.
Report Foinavon February 13, 2020 5:57 PM GMT
Sorry, the beast's answer was Nescafe.
Report Torquemada February 13, 2020 6:13 PM GMT
Is the answer Nespresso?
Report Foinavon February 13, 2020 7:28 PM GMT
Nestle
Report kincsem February 13, 2020 9:23 PM GMT
The Irish radio broadcaster Larry Gogan died recently.
He has a section on his radio programme "Just A Minute., the 60 Second Quiz"

Q. Name the capital of France
A. F

Q. Can you divide 48 by 16?
A. Yes

Q. Name something that flies that does not have an engine
A. A bicycle with wings

Q. What star do Travellers follow?
A. Joe Dolan
Report elise February 14, 2020 1:32 PM GMT
usa family fortunes

a boys name beginning with H

answer given, Jose ... whilst high fiving his family
Report Crisp77 February 14, 2020 1:37 PM GMT
No way Shocked
Report elise February 14, 2020 1:41 PM GMT
I was watching a video a few days ago, some of the above are also in it along with the famous,

name a word that comes after pork .... answer  .... cupine
Report elise February 14, 2020 1:41 PM GMT
i'll try and find it
Report elise February 14, 2020 1:43 PM GMT
'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeGVeBWECu8
Report Crisp77 February 14, 2020 1:43 PM GMT
That South Park episode where he got naggers wrong Plain
Report elise February 14, 2020 1:47 PM GMT
the ones I was watching before that were by jay leno where he asked members of the public he stopped at random some simple general knowledge questions, some of the answers are hilarious but it's scary that these people are running around & reproducing
Report screaming from beneaththewaves February 14, 2020 5:44 PM GMT
One or two at random from Private Eye's Dumb Britain column:

Cash Trapped, ITV
Bradley Walsh: Which of the 3 Rs, reading writing and arithmetic, actually starts with the letter R?
Contestant: Arithmetic.

Bradley Walsh: Which leader of the Labour party died in 1994 and was succeeded by Tony Blair?
Contestant: Maggie Thatcher.

Bradley Walsh: Who won four gold medals at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin?
Contestant: Usain Bolt.

Bradley Walsh: "Down with Big Brother" is a quote from which George Orwell novel?
Contestant: 1986.

Bradley Walsh: Which famous actor is the father of Kiefer Sutherland?
Contestant: Russell Crowe.

And my favourite, from Tipping Point, ITV:
Ben Shephard: Which Biblical figure do Christians believe is the son of God sent to save mankind from death and sin?
Contestant: Pass.
Report i_agree_with_nick February 14, 2020 5:59 PM GMT
I have a confession to make.

All the examples I've posted are my own inventions.
Report padlock February 14, 2020 6:03 PM GMT
Cool
Report i_agree_with_nick March 17, 2020 2:33 PM GMT
Q. What colour is the French wine xxxxx ?

A. It's a sort of violet, purpley colour.
Report saddo March 17, 2020 3:05 PM GMT
Les Dennis Family Fortunes. 'Name a bird with a long neck'

Contestant. 'Naomi Campbell'
....................................


Paxman on University challenge. 'What is another name for cherry pickers and cheesemongers?'

Contestant.  'Homosexuals'

Paxman. 'No, they are regiments in the British army who will be very upset with you'.
Report i_agree_with_nick March 17, 2020 3:20 PM GMT
Q. What colour is the French wine xxxxx ?

A. It's a sort of violet, purpley colour.


Bradley: Yes, I'll give you that!
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