Chit Chat
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06 Dec 18
18:17
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Date Joined:
05 Apr 02
Question: What was Hitler`s first name?
20-y-o Contestant: Heil.
20-y-o Contestant: Heil.
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Q- In which country would you find Mt Everest.
A- England Quiz master what made you think England, well i know they advertise on tv selling windows  , one afternoon last week. |
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heil hitler !...........
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Alexander Armstrong: "Who was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas?"
Contestant: "JR." |
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if you dont know the answer it is still better to guess, however much it makes folk laugh
some daft guesses turn out correct, and cash is won. saying i dont know isnt really going to win you the show! still get a laugh at some folk though. |
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q. who killed jfk?
mightymac. the cia |
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q. who killed david kelly?
mightymac. the british govt. |
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q. who blew up the twin towers?
mightymac. the american govt. |
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q. who killed princess di?
mightymac. the british govt. |
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They often pass on The Chase on questions like:
In what country of the UK... What colour... How many... |
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grappler
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only yesterday some idiot was asked to come up with the name of a spanish city on the mediterranean. after saying he didnt think spain had any part of the med coast the answer was; tuscany
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University Challenge believe it or not. Buzzer question.
Bamber G: What was Ghandi`s first name? Contestant: Goosey Goosey. Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Jamie Theakston: "Where do you think Cambridge University is?" Contestant: "Geography isn't my strong point." Theakston: "There's a clue in the title." Contestant: "Leicester." James O'Brien: "How many kings of England have been called Henry?" Contestant: "Well, I know Henry VIII. So, um, three?" America Quiz Show Host: "Which European country is Budapest the capital of?" Contestant: "This might be a stupid question. I thought Europe was a country? I know they speak French there, don't they? Is France a country?" Jeremy Paxman: "What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?" Contestant: "Homosexuals." Paxman: "No. They're regiments in the British Army, who will be very upset with you." |
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Years ago, organising a work`s day out to Edinburgh, one eejit suggested, "We will meet at the train station at 8.00am - get a train to Perth and a bus to Edinburgh"
We all looked at each other in amazement and somebody said, "Why not get the train straight to Edinburgh?" Eejit: "Have they got a train station in Edinburgh?" |
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This takes some beating, from Family Fortunes:
Les - “Name a dangerous race” Contestant - “Arabs” Les - “I’m sorry, the top answer was the Grand National” |
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That`s a cracker
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Contest over JM
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Name sometyhing you take to the beach.
TURKEY First thing you buy in a supermarket TURKEY Family Fortunes |
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A funny, yet thoroughly endearing, blonde on a 60s-70s US game-show
https://youtu.be/sulYyP7mGng [1 min video] |
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Quite a cutie, Poppy'.
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The funniest thing I have seen in my whole Life was an episode of The Weakest Link consisting of page three pin ups...Beyond embarrassing ffs.
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Quality comedy always stands the test of time. I still laughed at some of those again.
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On US Mr. & Mrs. To Mrs., we asked your husband the strangest place you had sex (he answered in the back seat of my car). After some thought she replied, up my bottom.
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Jeremy Paxman: "What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?"
Contestant: "Homosexuals." Paxman: "No. They're regiments in the British Army, who will be very upset with you." I looked this up on Youtube. The contestant answers in a deadpan, serious manner. He wasn't trying to be funny, which in turn makes it funnier. Best thing I've seen for ages. |
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Local pub quiz
Q - Which European country has jurisdiction over the Faroe Islands A - Egypt |
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Not exactly a question, but, working behind the bar, I said to my mate the other side (who isn't exactly the full ticket,) nip up the road and get me half a dozen lemons, to which he replied, "what's half a dozen?"
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3-2-1 classic
Ted Rogers "Composer, Born in Germany in 1757, he moved to Britain where he wrote The Messiah. You will certainly know his Handle. Team A. Woman. Oh I know this from school, Handels Water Music Ted. So the composer is? Woman: Bernstein Laughs from the audience Team B man (looking puzzled) Err.........Beethoven! It's on YouTube somewhere |
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This is one from Radio Merseysides Billy Butler Show...
BB "Who starred in the cowboy film The Searchers?" After wracking her brains for 5 minutes she says, " Give us a clue Billy" BB in his best John Wayne voice.. "The hell I will" Contestant replies.. "Oh go on Billy. You give everyone else clues!" |
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Family Fortunes
People with the surname Lee: Christopher Lee Bruce Lee Ang Lee Robert E. Lee Muhammad R. Lee |
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Ran a quiz on a minibus returning from a day in the country with a bunch of scallies on a court order. Did it mainly to keep them quiet. One of the questions was "what was Beethoven's first name?"
Nobody knew the answer but one lad wouldn't give up and ten minutes later he said I've got it. Is it Rollover. |
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Not a question but years ago I went on a shop and asked for half a dozen stamps.
Bloke says 'we only sell them in sixes or twelves'. So I said 'In that case I have six then'. |
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During the mad cow disease scare a guy in the pub asked me, "What about bacon, do you get that from a coo".
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Had a gf ask me once, after watching the film Willow, if midgets were real people.
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On Thursdays tipping point a contestant was asked which team Prince William supported.
The three choices were Aston Villa - Southampton Everton. She called the right answer, Aston Villa, as they were from London she said. |
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My favourite was an old Family Fortunes one with Les Dennis.
"A survey of 100 people were asked to name an item of clothing" Elderly Bloke presses buzzer with lightening reactions... "My red cardigan Les". |
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Qu: The US city of Detroit is in what state?
A: Chaos? |
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Q. Who painted the Mona Lisa?
A. Frank Bough |
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Family Fortunes
'Name parts of the body you only have 1 of' Wedding tackle Big toe Combine Harvester |