Stupid things you've done when drunk?

"Your mum"
Let's get that one out of the way early doors

I could tell you but I'd have to kill you :)

We need categories for this:

Drunk Dialing / Emailing
Stupid Arguments
Internet Purchases
Bad Idea Coitus
Falling Asleep in Stupid Places (see above)
Betting

Alcohol: The source of, and solution to, all of our problems!

If I listed all mine then I'd have more posts to my name than Wisewords!

Me and a mate had had a few too many one night, and after last orders we decided to go and visit his brother in Portsmouth (we're in the Midlands). We packed a quick bag each and drove down there (stupidly). We ended up staying for six weeks, and even got some work while we were there to tide us over.

Moving to Portsmouth going to take some beating

I've got about 50 i could name,some of them illegalloads very embarassing..

War and peace material.

i was out with this bird ,, got drunk ,  back to hers ,anyway after we did the biz, she fell asleep , leaving her large drinks glass on the bedside table,  on needing to pizz i couldnt be troubled getting outa bad, so grabbed her glass and filled her another drink,oot my todger, then i fell asleep , on wakening to me amazement she was sitting on the edge of the bed in the process of emptying said glass down her throat,, i couldnt bring myself to tell her,,

Why would you get drunk ?

After a fair few pints of Cameron's at |"The Foords" Filey, with the guys whilst an art student, on one of our regular stays in a parents caravan, I tried to kill myself by leaping from boulders to boulders on Filey Brigg, and broke my collar bone!

Prior to that, we had found an old "butcher's bike" (the bike, not the butcher) on the beach, and I was on it with another of our crazy group sitting in the basket carrier, and the other two pushing and finishing up in the sea!

Same venue, running back to the caravan, across the golf course, two of us thought we could swim in a paddling pool!

Sex in nightclubs with my partner-bouncer looking over toilet doors banned,only for two weekssame again local pubs never caught and on top of a spanking new sportscar outside a pub in town,also **** in a nightclub in front of maybe 500 just sitting down,these weren't just alcohol fuelled by the way...good stuff that MDMA..

During a break from university, after a night on the pop with my mate Dave, we stayed at his folks.

Went for a wee in the night naked, got disorientated, couldn't find my room and ended up trying to get into bed with his Mum and Dad.

Flowers always seemed to be involved on a l;ot of the clubbing/party nights leaving club to mates and her house party garden centre on the way and around a dozen of us nicked an array of shrubbery,all sorts of potted flowers etc at 4 in the morning to display in her garden..Alsop remember walking back with partner through town centre and couincil have potted plants all along the front,did the romantic thing and uprooted around half a diozen to make a boquet,only for police van to drive round the corner...They made me replant them all,had to keep wlaking back to various plant boxes while being watched..

Driving drunk. Stopped by police, while being questioned with crate of beer on back seat a call comes in and they speed off. Later in the day ,after more drink, misjudge a turn off on the A4 and puncture a tyre on the kerb.  Manage to control the car and make it home.

Now that's stupid.

Should take it as a win Baron you got the crate home safely.

Om more than one occasion we used to run round half of Southend dog track
as the bar was on the otherside to where the car was parked,normally i was the 3's on shot

Stayed at my cousins one night years ago ..both hammered I slept in his brothers bed ...don't know where his brother  was that night ...anyway I woke in the night to see my cousins arse nearly in the my face shouted at him and he went back to bed ,,,for the rest of the night I was sure I could smell **** ...got up looked everywhere bit found nothing .. I mentioned it to his brother who was there in the morning …..later that day his brother rang to say that he had gone in his bedside cabinet to get a pair of socks and when he open the drawer it turns out my cousin had had a **** in the drawer ,,,,he doesn't remember a thing about doing in

not me involved but a couple of my mates were walking home from a night out and decided to take a short-cut across a local golf course. One of them ended up pi55ing in one of the holes, and then the other mate took things a step further, took that flag out and sh4t in one of the holes and put the flag back in. What's worse is that it was the first Friday night of the month, so it would have been the monthly medal competition the following morning

in snooker that'd would've been 4 points

Posted pish in here … but you knew that already

Not as bad as I used to be, I think Aka!

cant even remember Fridays session    giggsy ... Flowered up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn2GYzJjR2I

voted conservative

Blimey flowered up remember seeing them at the 1st madstock

Witham .. i went to a gig in Witham...circa 1980.. had never heard of the place... the band was Crass Anarcho punk band.. it was in a Labour community club .. old bill raided it and i got nicked .. the bastards thru me out colchester nick at 3 am .. i had to walk miles with a mate cos they wanted us out of town.. nightmare day/evening

Saw the stone roses at The fridge in 89 cost me £3,actually have a bootleg on tape i used to take a a small tape recorder to a lot of gigs,this was when they'd just released first album seems like yesterday..

was that the fridge in Brixton ?  what one tho ... there was 2 

I have far too many stories to tell.  Not proud of a lot of them.

After closing time, we heard music and followed it till we got to this posh disco/barbecue and nicked about 100 cooked sausages.  Ate as many as we could, but the rest of them we threaded on car aerials all along the high street.