WHO STILL HAS A MILKMAN OR GETS THEIR PAPERS DELIVERED

I WOKE UP VERY EARLY .NOT ON SINGLE PAPER BOY PASSED MY WINDOW .I STOPPED ONE BOY AND ASKED IF HE WAS A PAPER BOY AND HIS MOTHER HIT ME WITH HER UMBRELLA AND SAID HE WAS A GIRL . 

SHE ALSO SAID IF I COME OUT IN MY PYJAMAS AGAIN WITH MY BINNOCULARS SHE WILL REPORT ME TO THE POLICE

AS FOR A MILK FLOAT .I STOPPED A POLICEMAN AND ASKED HIM IF HE'D SEEN A MILK FLOAT .HE SAID NO BUT HE HAD SEEN A    U F O .  A MAN ON A BYCYCLE WITH NO TROUSERS ON  .A DRUNK  SHOUTING TOMMY ROBINSON FOR PRIMINISTER OUTSIDE THE GATES OF A PRIMARY SCHOOL .6,WOMEN IN THEIR  PYJAMAS TAKING THE KIDS TO SCHOOL.A WOMAN CHASING AND RUMANIAN SHOUTING BRING MY CHILDS BYCYCLE BACK. A HIT AND RUN DRIVER WHO WAS WALKING BECAUSE HE HAD ARTHRITUS IN HIS HIP .A BANK ROBBER WHO WAS  CARRYING A LOAF,A BUNCH OF GRAPES .A PKT OF CORNFLAKES .FIVE POUNDS OF POTATOES ,A JELLY,AND THER FOOD. I THINK HE GOT THE FOOD BANK MIXED UP WITH THE NAT WEST BANK

Never met a milkman who could add up.

They always get the bill to too much , could never figure out why they never get it to too little.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT STAN OGDEN LOOKED LIKE ON A GOOD DAY .WELL I LOOK LIKE HIM ON A BAD DAY

Do wah D....I don't know how you have the knowledge, but you are not far off on much of that!

As for Dan Ogden,,,pass on that!

I'm LOOKING FOR A LADY WITH !OADS OF MONEY AND WI FI AND SKY SPORTS .LADY FAYE IM THE BEST BACK TICKLER(not scratcher)IN THE WORLD .IVE NOT GOT MUCH GOING FOR NE THESE DAYS APART FROM NY OWN TEETH AND A FUL HEAD. OF HAIR (should have been cut weeks ago but no luck on the horses or dogs)IM A VERY GOOD LISTENER UNLESS YOUR BORING ME OR SHOUTING AND SWEARING AT ME.IM VERY EASY GOING SO LONG AS IM IN A GOOD MOOD AND IF NOT .YOUVE PROBABLY GOT ENOUGH ROOMS TO LOCK YOURSELF IN IF I START JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR WHEN YOU COOK MY EGGS AND THERES NO DIP TO DIP MY TOASTED SOLDIERS IN !

I WAS ONCE VERY GOOD LOKING GIRLS WOULD STAND OUTSIDE THE BOOKIES DOOR .HOPEING TO GET A GLANCE OF ME.THEY DIDNT COME IN .THEY NEW BETTER THAN TO INTERUPT ME WHILE I WAS STUDYING THE FORM IN THE RACING POST .SADLY THE MORE I DRANK THE MORE I LOST MY DAVID CASSIDY LOOKS .

LADY FAYE I LOVE THE EATING THE SWEETS ON THE WAY ROUND

THERE USED TO BE LOADS OF PAPER  BOYS ABOUT 4 OR 5 IN OUR PAPERSHOP ALONE .I THOUGHT THERE MIGHT STILL BE THE ODD ONE BUT DOESNT SEEM TO BE ANY

We have a milkman where we live, but i don't use him, however i use the fresh fish man, he comes every friday morning and I buy my 3 fresh haddocks filleted and 2 first cuts of conger eel for our friday meal.
as for the paperman, thats sacrilege, i have a Bible delivered every friday and saturday morning, they're delivered at approx 6.45am

Where have all the milkmen gone? All locked up in the bedroom of number 48 by now, I should think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghhV1pRkPhM

DAM BUSTER SOUNDS VERY NICE DO YOU MEAN THE RACING POST AS YOUR BIBLE .WHO DELIVERS IT THE NEWSAGENT OR THE MAIL MAN. IT WONT BE THE NEWSAGENT WILL IT IF ITS FOUR MILES AWAY ??

We have milk deliveries down this street, which is surprising considering there is a Co-op at the end of it. No float anymore though, a proper van!

We even have coal deliveries and chimney sweeps in my area, i had the chimney swept when i first moved in, just over two years ago, the old boy i bought the house from told me he'd had it swept every year, when my chimney sweep came, he looked up and said its not been done for years.
When he started he looked like Dick Van ****, by the time he finished he looked like Nat King Cole !!!!!

The previous owner might not have been lying. Just like any other profession, there are plenty of lazy and/or useless chimney sweeps out there.

The difficult bit is the actual opening where the top of the flue meets the pot. This is where the smoke meets the cold air, condenses and forms the most soot. So the hole narrows as the soot hardens, and it's difficult to get the brush through it. So some sweeps don't bother trying, particularly as there's the added bonus that they'll be called out to sweep it again all the more quickly as a consequence.

The only answer is to stand outside and watch until you actually see the brush appear through the top of the pot. The final straw for me was when the sweep insisted he'd done exactly that, and I must have missed it. A couple of weeks later, and smoke was already blowing back into the room. So after that I ordered a set of flexible nylon rods and a brush and did it myself. It took about half an hour of violence and swearing to break through the creosote around the base of the pot, but when I did, it was like the end of the world, as decades of black gunge came crashing down into the grate. And then I was able to reach the bird guard, and clean that too.

The woodburner was a revelation after that, burning brightly and cleanly, just like it's supposed to. And the great thing about doing your own sweeping is that when you do get a hint of smoke blowing back, you don't have to put up with it until a sweep can come; you can deal with it straight away.

But if you sweep the chimney on the very morning before lighting it for the first time that winter, you should get away with not having to do it again for 12 months, even if you have a stove burning continuously. That gap between when most people get their chimney swept, and lighting it for the first time, can cause problems, in my view: anything from cobwebs to leaves can get down there and form a framework on which soot can condense and solidify.

Chimney sweeping logs are good, in my experience, and well worth the tenner or so they cost. They really do loosen the soot and stop it forming lumps of creosote.

One other tip: if you have bird guard above the pot, take a look at it through binoculars. If you can see soot around the wire, then you know the sweep hasn't forced the brush the whole length of the flue properly.

WHAT AN INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE THREAD .WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD OTHER THAN THE BETFAIR CHIT CHAT FORUM COULD YOU ASK A QUESTION ABOUT A PAPERBOY AND A MILKMAN ,AND END UP KNOWING HOW TO CLEAN A CHIMNEY .ALSO WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU GET A SCIENCE LESSON ON WHERE AND WHY THE MOST SOOT IS CAUGGHT AT THE TOP OF THE FLUE  WHERE IT MEETS THE POT.CONDENSATION  IS THE SCIENTIFIC EXPLINATION FOR THIS OCCURENCE AND ITS CAUSED WHEN THE SMOKE HITS T5HE COLD AIR .THIS IS NOT ONLY INTERESTING BUT WOULD PROBABLY GET YOU FULL MARKS IN A.    G C E   EXAMINATION TEST .THIS THREAD ALSO GIVES INFORMATION ON WHERE A JEWISH FISH EATING MAN CAN GET FRESH IF HES THINKING OF MOVING . ITS ALSO A HISTORY KESSON FOR ME AS I THOUGHT PEOPLE ONLY LIVED IN HAMLETS IN THE OLDEN DAYS.I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL PULLED DOWN WHEN THE ROMANS LEFT .

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLYS AND MY MIND IS ABOGLE WITH THE INFORMATION  THATS BEEN PRESENTED .

THERES EVEN A JOKE FOR THOSE WHO STILL KNOW HOW TO LAUGH

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO THANK DO WAH DIDDY FOR ASKING THE TYPES OF QUESTIONS THAT HE DOES .HE MAKES PEOPLE THINK