jehovah witnesses...whats the best way to deal with them??

to get rid of them??

Quicker to be honest and tell them you are not interested. I used to say I was a Buddhist and invite them in, but they soon decline and clear off.

don't want to be nasty ....don't want to encourage them

I don't have this problem. I'm in the Witness Protection Scheme.

''I'm not interested thank you, good day.''

Why do you have to be polite to unsolicited callers?  Its they who are being rude.

Could find out if they frequent any forums, then join said forum... Be rude and generally abuse them in a snide way... just an idea.

It's the kids I feel sorry for!

Young boys wearing suits and struggling to carry briefcases.....

Young girls wearing "party dresses" as that's the only chance they get to wear them, as they don't have birthday parties,
and neither are they allowed to go to those of others!

All that and not celebrating Christmas, and the kids have a raw deal!

Ask 'em what percentage of their income they give to the church ( could be 25% + )  Say you spend your money on the only life we know we've got.

That's not going to get rid of them, as you're seeding a conversation!

Whatever you do , DON'T say anything that can be classed as 'hate speech' . Religious minorities have more rights than yer average Joe these days

Nah, you'd be able to tell them-and almost any other religion- to fro and no one would say owt.

You could always do like the late Jake LaMotta when they stopped him when he was training for a fight with the question "Would you consider being a Jehovah's Witness?"

His reply was "Tell your friend Jehovah I didn't see anything." He was being serious unfortunately!

A friend of mine works for the United Christian Broadcast. As you can imagine he is a deeply religious fellow, knows the Bible almost word for word. Whenever any Jehovah's Witnesses visit he invites them in and (without wishing to sound unkind) preaches to them for as long as they're prepared to listen.

Try playing a porn DVD loud enough to be heard from the doorstep .................. then invite them to 'join' you and your friends

Sep 18, 2018 -- 11:51AM, i_agree_with_nick wrote:

I don't have this problem. I'm in the Witness Protection Scheme.

Sep 18, 2018 -- 3:38PM, Pokermonster wrote:

A friend of mine works for the United Christian Broadcast. As you can imagine he is a deeply religious fellow, knows the Bible almost word for word. Whenever any Jehovah's Witnesses visit he invites them in and (without wishing to sound unkind) preaches to them for as long as they're prepared to listen.

That's interesting to know Pokermonster.  I read their Word For Today most mornings.  May I pm you about your friend sometime?

https://www.ucb.co.uk/word-for-today

I'm not 100% sure but I don't think the JWs believe / accept the Holy Spirit?

Hello, Trilby. :)

Yes, of course, sir. I'm hardly ever on the forum these days so you must forgive me if I don't reply for a while.

Hi Poker and thank you.  I'll do that by the w/e.  No rush

https://youtu.be/EfqDwjUT968?t=59s

Bullet proof

Shake your head and point to your ears, and say  "sorry deaf" in a kind of deaf way.....

Tell them you'd love to invite them in but you're just going out to give blood

Just tell them you are an ex Jehovah's Witnesses and you wont see their ar$e for dust. Your address will be crossed of their list and they wont bother you no more.

Those who leave the faith are called "apostates" and are "disfellowshipped", a term for formal expulsion and shunning, where members are "prohibited from talking, and even from saying 'hello' to them

Answer the door naked, they'll never bother you again.

Why can't you tell them to F*** O** ?

Sep 18, 2018 -- 8:01PM, Get me a drink wrote:

Answer the door naked, they'll never bother you again.

might work on the jehovahs, but the Conservative party canvasser stayed for all of about 2 minutes when I tried this. "conservative with a small c" is what I shouted as she hotfooted it down the drive.

Answer the door naked, they'll never bother you again.


Speak for yourself Get me a drink...........I'm a fxxking catch

might work on the jehovahs, but the Conservative party canvasser stayed for all of about 2 minutes when I tried this. "conservative with a small c" is what I shouted as she hotfooted it down the drive

Who has the small c ? Was it cold

her clipboard got in the way i think, otherwise she'd have been **** a hoop

Sep 18, 2018 -- 11:39AM, saddo wrote:

Quicker to be honest and tell them you are not interested. I used to say I was a Buddhist and invite them in, but they soon decline and clear off.

I actually had a visit from them while staying at a friend's house in London. I used the same trick as you and told them I was a Buddhist. They said that's exactly why we are here . I thought I was being smart but got caught. Had to politely tell them to leave and they left.

Release the Hounds

I used to have a dog who would Try to smash the Front door down if anyone Knocked ..

No one ever knocked twice

No one ever knocked twice


Here's Johnny!!!!!!

They knocked at a mates house . He invited them in and sat them down . He assured them that his dog was nothing to worry about but implored them not to make any sudden movements as it sometimes reacted badly in such situations .He left the room , put on his boots and went to the pub . His wife came in about twenty minutes later , opened the door to the living room to witness a pair of strangers glued to the sofa with the dog softly growling....

I take it you don't have a bra, some suspenders, high heels and a dildo...???

I was bored one day so invited one in for a chat. I asked him what he wanted to talk about and he said "I don't know, I've never got this far before"

Say you would be happy to listen to them but you need an answer to just one question....

"Are you wearing a thong or full back briefs"?

Many years ago I WAS lying in bed onE Summers afternoon, I was working nights, when I heard this gentle tap tap tapping at the front door. I ignored it but they persisted and so I got out of bed , moving the curtain just ever so lightly,  peeped out at the front pathway, and there was this gorgeous young female standing there looking at the front door. Well,you've never seen anything like it. Scooping up my jeans, struggling to pull them on and almost breaking my neck hurrying downstairs to open the door, best sack-race saw, and AS i opened it I was confronted with some old hag asking me if I'd like to talk about Jesus. I couldn't stop myself from laughing at myself, the situation. I politely decline their invitation and they didn't push. I think they're more accepting of a refusal nowadays.