Share a random/odd short story from your life...

Thirteen years ago I was talking about my best mate at school with my partner,saying I hadn't seen him for the best part of ten years I knew had moved away but his mother was still alive.His father died going into hospital from some infection undergoing hip replacement so dying prematurely,his brother died from a heart attack aged 31 and someone had recently told me he had maybe a drug problem.I said to her I will give his mother a phone tomorrow and gets details of where he lives etc,the following day my local paper I was reading had man killed in car crash early hours of morning,it turned out it was my best mate from school,i was devastated and not just that but his mother had seen her family wiped out in a few years,plus I could've made that phone call horrific..

when I was 12 saw I guy fall thru the ice ,local lake

saw his arms wave for about 3 secs then disappear

adults around me stopped me from running towards him

I batted with Sunil Gavasker, he ran me out second ball for nought much to the huge amusement of my teammates. It was an easy single as well

This conversation happened to a mate of mine while he was working on airplanes in Ghana.

AFRICAN MAN- Where are you from?
BOB- England
AM- My brother lives in England. His name is..........  .......... (a long complicated African name). Do you know him?
BOB- (chuckles to himself) I'm afraid not, England is a little bit bigger than some people think.
AM- If I write him a letter will you post it for me when you get back home?
BOB- Of course I will.

The next day the African bloke brought a letter in, and the address written on the envelope was Bob's next door neighbour, in a tiny village called Kegworth.

@thegiggilo - That's unreal and very sad. Sorry to hear about that.

@xmoneyx - I take it he was a gonna then?

@SlippyBlue - Had to google him. Noticed he played for Somerset in 1980. Did you?

@s.kenbo - The classic 'small world' comes to mind. A very strange but good coincidence!

Got a summer job in a factory when 16.
Worker fell from the top of some stackers.
wasn't that far but he hit his head on the way down and there was blood everywhere.
I felt like throwing up as people ran to his aid.
After the initial concern and the nurse turning up the atmosphere changed.
One wag "Do you think he'll get travelling time?" "Must get his lying time" said another etc etc.
Still vividly remember that and wondered how people could be so callous. Soon learned.

moved 60 miles away to a new school - on my very first day i notice a girl sitting in the class who i knew ... yes, she was in the same class at the very school i had just left  - i didn't even know she had moved .

when i pointed this strange co-incidence to the teacher ,the teacher just told me to shut up and pay attention to what he was about to say .

Coach, you'd be labelled a stalker nowadays.

Back in the early 80's whilst in the Army we were tasked with searching woods for a young girl Genette Tate who had gone missing , one wag shouted out he had found her and held up a old doll. Point being in stressful times humour helps akabula.
A notourious child killer Robert Black was was suspected of abducting her although never proven.

A holiday in Spain 1970 I was nine, couldn't swim but liked going in the pool with a rubber ring, anyway one day I jumped in with the ring the ring went up  & I went down, couldn't swim a stroke I know bad for a nine year old, anyway I struggled to the surface & started waving frantically to my parents around what seemd a 100 yards away, my mum saw me & waved back
From that distance it obviously didn't look like I was in trouble, after then sinking to the bottom the next thing I remember is someone pumping my stomach & me coughing & spluttering at the side of the pool surrounded by a crowd of people, my mum was mortified & I still cant swim.

Some good ones there.

Does this have to be morbid stuff?

On my first date with my now wife, I took her to the pictures in Brighton to see Kelly Heroes.  Yes I know, a bit selfish!.  I let her out of the carriage first and she chatted as she made her way down the platform. I on the other hand, slipped inelegantly between the train and platform having missed my footing.  She returned to see me peering up at her. Took her 5 years to agree to marry me. Those wide gaps at Brighton station are still there

Ok an amusing tale of sorts.

This is going back to schooldays & eye tests at school, this one was in the cloakroom, anyway optitcian sat me down & covered one eye with a piece of card & asked me to read, I struggled with a few words & the optician looking rather worried said lets try the other eye, so he covered up the eye with the card & I struggled again to blurt out a few letters, that's when the optician turned to me & said you must be almost blind are you honestly telling me you cannot read the board up there.
That's when I looked up & noticed the big word board for the first time & uttered those immortal words " oh the board Iv'e been trying to read the piece of card you placed over my eye "

One day whilst driving to work, I noticed a female walking ahead on the pavement who I thought from the back looked like a female friend I hadn't seen for about 4yrs. As I got level I could see that it was not her but it caused me to think about her for the rest of the journey. Later that day I left my office to visit the local shop. As I got about 50 yds away from the office I looked across the road at a female walking towards the office. Unbelievably it was the friend I thought I had seen that morning. I shouted over to make sure it was her. I crossed over to talk to her and asked where she was going. She said she had an interview at another department in my office building. Needless to say she got the job and we resumed our friendship on a daily basis for the next few years.

I won my first million quid backing holes in one bets on golf.We use to get 33/1 for hole in one during a gold tourney and myself and a few friends traveled round all the bookie shops in the country placing 1 pound yankee bets in all tourney's that we knew taking place.there was 4 of us and we made over 4 million before we became big news ,and we done nothing wrong.
Did you know that nearly every golf comp has a hole in one and the correct odds are 8/1 with 128 players.

Did you know that nearly every golf comp has a hole in one and the correct odds are 8/1 with 128 players

How many players are there is a normal golf competition?

Thought hole in one at golf comps was around a 5/4 shot,my ex used to work with a bloke called John  Carter at Corals & it was he & another bloke that went round the country backing holes in one at odds of up to 100/1 they won a lot of money though some places did refuse to pay them out.
He wrote a book called  Hole in One Gang

Strange coincidence for me today.
This afternoon I was walking around Coventry Motor museum, looking at all the famous old marques that were manufactured in that city. As I came to the more recent models, there was a stand showing strike placards representing the industrial disputes which saw the end of British Leyland. Memories of Derek "Red Robbo" Robinson and the strikers flashed across my mind for the first time in decades.
This evening, the local news came on after the Ten O'clock news and announced that he had died today.

I don't know, but I know that each golfer has four shots at pars threes over a four day event if there is no cut,and 98% of comps has a hole in one.in fact I know nothing about the game,other that most bookies will give you 33/1 for a hole in one.(well they use to in the old days)but now its 8/1.

Is brassneck's post a "cut and paste" job from the obvious and well documented piece of golf betting history, or is it a belated and  opportunistic piece of gambling bull s hit.  I certainly have no idea, but someone might.

I don't think a bookie gives & has given more than 5/4 for a hole in one at a tourny for many years.

There was only two of them by the way & John died some time ago so unless your the other bloke !

@Pumphol.
I seem to remember that those guys preyed on independents and gave the multis a miss, is that correct?

8/1 for a hole in one?  Where are you betting?  Fantasy Island bookmakers?

Aka I read the book about 20 years ago I think they started with multi bets but went to singles to get on in the end.

BTW best price for this Turkish tourny this week is 8/11 !

I would say even 5/4 is unobtainable for most comps

I don't know what you guys are talking about,i am telling you about my early life and you guys seem to disbelieve me,if I told you I lost a million you would disbelieve that also,well you don't know the brass,because I lost 68,grand in one day alone in gambling career.believe what ever you like,i only tried to share a story that is true.its up to yourselves if you believe it or not.

Foinavon - funny you should mention Coventry as we were only talking about the place today. A lad from our village got fed up with mending farm machinery and decided to seek his fortune elsewhere, he walked to London and spent time repairing and re-inventing sewing machines. His name was James Starley.

After moving to Coventry, he took time out to invent the differential gear (ffs!), and then various bikes of some repute. He is generally known as the "Father of the Bicycle" and there is a statue of him in Coventry.   There is a blue plaque for him here in Albourne, Sussex and he has several relatives hereabouts.

Thanks blackbarn for your kind remarks.Brass does not bull sh1t.

brassneck - I'll stick to my original post.  I would though hazard a guess that the general consensus from subsequent posters is that no one believes you. Still, as you say, you don't care whether anyone believes you or not.

thought hole in 1 gang was a hole in one 4 majors might be wrong ?

brass bull put me right

*will typo

I believe brassnecks story , it may not be absolutely accurate in every little detail
But I believe it is true non the less.

hole in one gang was two ex bet shop managers iirc

sub any for every

Now you mention majors Capt that does ring a bell, could be that's where the multies came in singles and upwards at fancy prices.

25 odd years ago pump accquaintance of mine "hit" named and shamed by The Sun 33/1 rings a bell too

and I have a foolproof system on the exchanges if you all want it ,but you need a monster bank account to work it.
So let me tell you all a little secret .TORQUAY UNITED HOLD A RECORD FOR THE MOST CONSECUTIVE DRAWS IN THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR OVER 100 YEARS.THEIR RECORD IS EIGHT DRAWS.now who's a clever guy that can harness this information and put it to good use and decide to be a millionaire.

One bookie closed his business down so to avoid payment.

Torquay would love 8 draws in a row now as they are total sh!te at the moment

OK, lets look at the evidence for Brassneck's involvement in the famous 1991 bet. He says.....

"I won my first million quid backing holes in one bets on golf.We use to get 33/1 for hole in one during a gold tourney and myself and a few friends traveled round all the bookie shops in the country placing 1 pound yankee bets in all tourney's that we knew taking place.there was 4 of us and we made over 4 million before we became big news ,and we done nothing wrong.
Did you know that nearly every golf comp has a hole in one and the correct odds are 8/1 with 128 players".

He then says...

"I don't know, but I know that each golfer has four shots at pars threes over a four day event if there is no cut,and 98% of comps has a hole in one.in fact I know nothing about the game,other that most bookies will give you 33/1 for a hole in one.(well they use to in the old days)but now its 8/1.

followed by.....

I don't know what you guys are talking about,i am telling you about my early life and you guys seem to disbelieve me,if I told you I lost a million you would disbelieve that also,well you don't know the brass,because I lost 68,grand in one day alone in gambling career.believe what ever you like,i only tried to share a story that is true.its up to yourselves if you believe it or not.

Methinks the gambler doth protest too much

settled in Torquay after his travevls for the quiet life.  major @ faulty

think of the money you could make on all the torquay's around the world every time they play every hour of every day of every year. in fact its torquay you need to avoid.So I will call it (AVOID TORQUAY UNITED SYSTEM)and the money rolled in and he bought himself a yacht to park beside beach house.

i know nothing

Blackbarn, there is a video presentation of John Starley's achievements in the museum along with a display of a number of his bicycles and tricycles and many others.
Outside, there is a statue of Sir Frank Whittle, who you may know was born in Coventry in 1907.
It's well worth a visit if you are ever in the area.

The hole in one boys who did Scotland avoided Laddies, hills and etc.
Used to target the wee bookies in the run up to a tourney.
Put themselves across as keen golfers wanting an interest for the event.

Brassneck - are you thinking about your response to those posts that doubt your success and/or involvement in the famous "hole in one" campaign. Most of us on here, wouldn't want to think you were bu77shi77ing on this subject.

Give it a rest ffs BB. You've made your point so just leave it.
BTW speak for yourself and stop including Most of us on here
Unless of course you've organised a survey.

I give my response at 23.20.pm.its no skin of my nose if you believe me or not.i was not involved with any Scottish guys and it was not in 1991 .it was 18 years before 1991.AS you are well aware I am a retired bookmaker and many many millions passed through my hands over the years ,lets say it just a snippet of my story "the life of brass"which I may release soon .

Akabula - Since you have got involved, my point, which I have tried to put more delicately perhaps is deserved, is that Brassneck is claiming involvement in the "hole in one" campaign. I await evidence of any such involvement.

If you misunderstand this, or have something to add. I am happy to respond.

Your reference to "most of us on here" was based on what seemed to me to be a fair assessment of the subsequent posts relating to the subject.

@ BB You await evidence.
What you gonna do if I say I don't believe you are a farmer? Post a picture of a cow?.

@Brassie If I remember right the boys who travelled throughout Scotland were English.
I got told the story by an independent bookmaker in a casino. He knew one of the guys in our crowd.

blackbarn,remember I am one of only 4 people that has won over one million pound on betfair which was well documented.and I can name two others but that would be unfair.

Oct 31, 2017 -- 11:52PM, brassneck wrote:

I won my first million quid backing holes in one bets on golf.We use to get 33/1 for hole in one during a gold tourney and myself and a few friends traveled round all the bookie shops in the country placing 1 pound yankee bets in all tourney's that we knew taking place.there was 4 of us and we made over 4 million before we became big news ,and we done nothing wrong.Did you know that nearly every golf comp has a hole in one and the correct odds are 8/1 with 128 players.

John Carter (a very close mate of mine -late 70's early 80's) when we were just starting out for Korals) and Paul Simons were the Hole in one gang.
They wrote a book about it. They sort of conned a few independents into giving them vast odds.
No bookie will give 8/1 about a hole in one. There are usually 156 players in each tournament. The true odds are around 5/4 or less.
It took dedication, loads of studying about golf and a few years to net about a million between them and in the process the bar stewards forced the demise of some small businesses.

You are 100% not being accurate, brassneck.

btw, pumph, it was Paul who died. Not that I've seen him in about 35 years but I didn't hear of John's passing.

I'm not disputing your golf story brass, but there are a lot more than 4 people who have won over £1 Million on Betfair.

Back to the OP – Another coincidence story.

Me and Mrs Gin had tickets to The Specials comeback tour in 2009. We travelled from Bristol to Birmingham in the afternoon and were looking  for somewhere to get something to eat before the gig. After wandering around Birmingham centre for a while we saw a Pizza Express and went in and sat down. I just started perusing the menu when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see my brother and his wife. They had travelled to Birmingham from Wiltshire for a completely unrelated event and just happened to pick the same Pizza Express at the same time as us!

one thing we can be sure about brassneck....................he has got the right name

I liked pumphol's story about thinking he had to read the card covering his eye to do the eye test. When I was five or six the school nurse used to hold her watch up to our ears, ask some question, and everybody would nod their head and say "yes". So I used to do the same, as I had no idea what the question was, not being able to hear her well enough to understand it.

It was years later that I found out that watches make a noise, and the question was "Can you hear that?"

Teacher at Primary School showed us pictures of different flowers and asked us what colour each type could be seen. She showed a flower and I answered Blue Miss, She laughed and ridiculed the answer(she was a real ballbuster btw) telling us that the flowers didn't come in blue. We kids discussed this at lunchtime and the following day, on her desk, was a milk bottle full of the blue flowers. Her lips looked like she'd been sucking a lemon and although there was a considerable amount of painful retaliation, it was worth it.

Hi SF, I knew one had died quite a few years back not sure why I assumed it was John, hope your ok mate.

Pumpy, the swimming story sounds like the old Rolf Harris advert from the 70's.

Brassneck I was at the Coventry Motor Museum on August Bank Holiday, a good day out and free unless you donate or by the Brochure for a £5. Brochure well worth the £5, went with 2 foreigners who live in Coventry and pass it every Saturday when they go went shopping. But never thought to go in, I am the same live in Leicester and never been to the Space Centre.

Just looked it up Paddy can't remember ever seeing it before, didn't that neither of my parents could swim either.

Brassneck - am enjoying your contributions. Let us know when the book comes out please.

Wasn't Harry F one of the 'Hole In One' gang getting on for 30 years ago?

regards etc

Brassneck talks more sh1t than anyone on these forums.  Which I suppose makes him remarkable.

I once had a very brief conversation, and got a 3 word reply,  with one of the world's greatest footballers about another football legend.

Norfolk Gardens Casino, Bradford, circa 1985. The legendary John Charles had been attending a boxing night at the hotel next door.George Best had been booked as guest speaker, although he was well known for often missing appointments.  After the bouts had been completed, many of the audience, all  attired in dress suits and dicky bow ties, as was normal at these events, went next door to the casino to have a bet.

John Charles went straight to the roulette table, as he often did. I surreptitiously slid across and stood next to him.

Did George Best turn up, I asked between spins. Did he boloks was the 3 word reply.

I've got a hole in one of the elbows of three of my jumpers

I was at ITV studios in Manchester for a quiz show, I was in make up to get some
powde on my  forehead,in the chairs either side were Barbara Knox and Julie Goodyear.
They were very friendly.

I have 2 stories, both 100% genuine but a bit S**t.

Story 1.

Was traveling back from the football at Ayr one Tuesday evening. The atmosphere in the car wasn't great as my mate and I had just witnessed our beloved Falkirk getting pumped 6 nil. Was getting close to home and we had just turned onto the Stepps bypass near Glasgow. Suddenly my guts started doing cartwheels and I was bursting for a Tomtit. Struggled on (as you do) with waves of oh-oh for at least 5 minutes. It soon became apparent that some serious turtleing was occurring and getting home without sh*****g myself wasn't going to happen. So it was off at the first exit to look for a secluded spot. Not far off the bypass, there it was a seemingly deserted field with what looked like an open fronted wooden hut. I was out the car like a shot and into the boot to look for anything resembling toilet paper. All I could find was a roll of Christmas paper and I was over the gate and into the hut pronto. The deed was done and I was just about to unroll the Christmas paper to wipe/smear my rear end when out of the darkness, heading towards the hut/stable and me, came two four-legged shadows. One of the nags was right in and started nuzzling into an area you don't want a horse nuzzling and he/she wasn't being deterred by my attempts to fend it off with my roll of Christmas paper. It was now time for a sharp exit, so I pulled my kegs up as best I could and made a break for the gate. My mate who was watching and listening to the whole thing unfold was in a crumpled heap on the grass in hysterics. With the 2 nags in hot pursuit, I dived over the gate holding my kegs up with one hand and my roll of Christmas paper in the other. It sounds far-fetched but it's 100% true.

Story 2.

After a heavy night out in Manchester (hospitality), I was travelling back up the road on the M6. I was in the front passenger seat, a Rep was driving and there was another customer in the back seat.
As we drove up the M6 the customer in the back (who shall remain nameless) enquired of the Rep if he could pull in at the next service station for the toilet. At this point, everything was calm and hunkydory. A couple of minutes later he enquired again but this time with a bit more urgency. Very soon afterwards he seemed to have worked himself up into a frenzy and was crawling around on the back seat begging the Rep to stop the car while stating hysterically "you need to stop, am gony **** myself, I'm gony **** myself" repeatedly. At this point, we were in a contraflow and it was impossible to stop. Through tears of laughter, the Rep was starting to realise the gravity of the situation and was begging the customer to "not s**t in his motor" as his weans had to travel in it. It then went South very quickly as the next thing we heard was "am gony **** me, I'm gony s**t myself" followed by the sound of a belt being loosened, a zip coming down and the customer proceeded to squat down at the back of my seat and take a **** on the car floor. Well, the smell hit us immediately and much dry boaking ensued as we raced to get our windows down. As you can imagine the customer in question is extremely embarrassed about the whole situation and is now known by all who have heard the story as "****r". Behind his back of course...he is still a customer...As an aside, the Rep phoned me up later that night to inform me that " Brockville, I've just been thinking. It's impossible to do a sh**e without doing a p**s. The dirty bastard must have p***ed in my car as well"

10-10 for effort, ;-)

Christmas paper? Why couldn't you use a sock like everyone else?

Very funny stories, though! Are you sure you weren't the guy in the back seat?

The thought of the smell still makes me boak then I think about it.

Sh****r is famous in these parts. Every time I see the Rep we still have a good laugh about it.

I once beat a multiple World Champion Darts player in a one-leg game, hitting the very middle of the double-top to secure the honours. It took place in a marquee and was witnessed by quite a few people, and the Champion's manager.

I got a hole in one on a par 4 about 30 years ago. I spent 5 minutes looking for the ball when my mate said it's in the hole.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Brockville you never heard of paragraphs.
I've poor eyesight and struggle to read posts like that.

In my shop one day & a women came in asking about a type of shoe we used to sell, sadly we had long since sold out but had one foot sitting on a shelf, my dad told her we had looked for the other foot for months & it was nowhere to be found, with that she walked over to a large box full of junk, stuck her hand right to the bottom & pulled out the other foot !
Already shocked I asked how did you do that which she replied " I have clairvoyant skills bla bla bla & all that.
Well it was Royal Ascot so I said to her find me the winner of the Royal Hunt Cup, she took the pen & circled a horse.
She marked off Governorship a complete rag

Worst part of it was neither my father or myself felt compelled to back it & after what had just happened I still to this day don't get why we never did.

Winner of the 1988 Royal Hunt Cup - Governorship 33/1

I was 13, 1980, I did a £1 e.w. acca on Easter Bank Holiday, 13 horses that were all favs in The Sporting Life. 12 winners and a non runner. £256 which was an absolute fortune for me back in the day.

Early 1980's, a mate of mine was playing in the Welsh Open snooker tournament in Newport.
He asked me if I could take his wife to the venue, as I was going anyway, and she was working during the day
and wouldn't be able to travel with him in the afternoon.
I picked her up as arranged and made our way to Newport.
When we got there, we went to the players and officials lounge area, as you do lol, and I met a number of the then current
top players... Steve Davis, John Parrott, Doug Mountjoy etc., and noticed there was a table at the side of the room with a TV
on it, where you could watch the match being played in the arena.
I sat down in the middle of the 3 seats, and two others cam and sat either side of me. In an instant I recognised the voice to
my left.. it was none other than Whispering Ted Lowe, and to my right sat Clive Everton!
They talked to each other exactly as they do when commentating on a live match on TV.
It was one of the most surreal experiences I can ever remember.
We had a good chat for a while, and can only say it was a pleasure speaking to someone I had heard only on TV for years before.

In 1998 my girlfriend and I were staying at her friends in Glasgow I had a terrible dream about an aeroplane crashing and killing all on board later that day the news came out about plane crash in Canada killing over 200 people.

A year later I had a dream about a plane being out of control and crashing I told some friends at work and that was the night that Payne Stewarts plane crashed.

The following year I was working with one of my colleagues who I had told about the 2nd crash. Just after 4pm on that I started with the most terrible pains in my head, it was at the time of Concorde crashing in Paris.

Nothing more to it than coincidences but very strange.

One of my friends was a prominent Labour MP. Sadly passed away recently.

When I was a student one of the people I shared digs with was a bit of a  dare devil and said he could jump from the roof of this 50ft building into a tree and be OK.  One night he didn't come back, he was found the next morning dead at the bottom of the tree.

not a red squirrel them