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My brother-in-law, he'd been married to my half sister for 74 years.
The question is, do I offer to pay for anything? My friend said if a man has died you don't send flowers, they have a wreath (never knew that if it's true) pretty hopeless at this sort of thing.
Happy to contribute if it's the correct thing to do , I have sent a condolence card.
Rarely see my step sister but do speak on the phone, they have a daughter who has children (my great-nephews and nieces) but am on friendly terms and do speak to a few of the family ocassionally.
Cheers.
The question is, do I offer to pay for anything? My friend said if a man has died you don't send flowers, they have a wreath (never knew that if it's true) pretty hopeless at this sort of thing.
Happy to contribute if it's the correct thing to do , I have sent a condolence card.
Rarely see my step sister but do speak on the phone, they have a daughter who has children (my great-nephews and nieces) but am on friendly terms and do speak to a few of the family ocassionally.
Cheers.
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I don't think she'd be expecting you to contribute Kenny.
I wouldn't offer but would help if asked. |
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Cheers aka', when my other sister died 2 years ago I did send some flowers, as that was expected I think.
Is it the case that if you lose a close family member you send flowers if it's a female, but don't if it's male? |
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If that were me in your shoes kenny mann I'd chip in a few quid to help towards the wake and the bar bill, sorry to hear of your news G.
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Life's a journey - not a destination. Imo. RIP
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Cheers J, happy to do what's right. However my half sister does have a daughter with 2 sons who have good jobs, and I don't think her daughter is short, so as I rarely see them, to do what you suggest would be more than generous I reckon.
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btw she's over 20 years older than me in case you're wondering, and was married at 16 in 1943. :-)
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Personally the gentlemanly thing to do is to send flowers with your condolences, speak to your sister and ask politely if there is anything you can do or does she need any help? You're not putting her on the spot but you are offering to help. As Kenny says you could offer to help with the expenses although some people may be offended with offers of financial support at this sad time while others may snatch your hand off - depending on personal circumstances
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Agree with vidou, ask what she would like you to do rather than appear aloof.
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good luck kenny sorry to hear your news
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Maybe, if he had a charity that was close to his heart you could make a donation in his name. It's close to Remembrance Sunday so if he served that could be an option.
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The most important thing you could give to your Sister is time, I had a half brother whom I loved with all my heart ,he was my hero and 12 yrs older than me.He would NEVER allow me call him his HALF brother we were always Brothers in his eyes.Talk to your Sister as often as possible during this sad time,She will always have fond memories of your time as kids, and too know you are her support in time of need will mean the world to her.Really sorry for your loss.
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Thanks chaps, I did phone her on Friday and again yesterday so am not appearing aloof, and she did say everything is in hand when I asked if there was anything I could do to assist.
vidou, I did send some flowers on her 90th in March. I'll contact her daughter to see if I should send any to her mum's house. Thanks for the idea. |
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Sorry to hear that kenny, good luck whatever you do, I'm useless at this sort of thing too.
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BTW 74 years married, can't be many marriages that long.
What age was he Kenny. |
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Thanks foxy. He was 92 aka, put her in the pudding club when she was just 15.5 years and he was 18. My mum was furious, apparently, although she never discussed it with me. Still, it worked out very well, they just had that one child, who's now 74 and is my niece, even though she's 6 years older.
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Lost his first week's wages after getting married at the dog track.
 He calmed down after that. |
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It did work out well for them Kenny.
74 years married was an incredible achievement. RIP |
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The dogs Even at 16 I bet your sister gave him a blasting. |
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It was, a hell of a long time. Had a nice house, raised a lovely daughter, who had 2 great kids. who had 5 between them, who are my great great nephews and nieces, FFS!
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In fact, it's a strange family, the age thing. My dad was in WW1!
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Fortunately the chicks I chat up don't know that, they think I'm mid 50s.
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