Idiotic Sports Fans

The worst is surely that awful collective nervous middle-class laugh that occurs when a pigeon lands on Centre Court, or the tennis ball almost hits an official after a particularly fast unreturnable serve is struck.

Such spectators, along with anyone who claps at a "Would spectators please switch off their mobile phones?" announcement from the chair umpire, really have transgressed all known moral decency.   

The only solution is for such people to be held, permanently and without trial, in a detention camp, with the threat of a visit from David Lammentable.   

I also have little time for the 'knowledgable Crucible audience' who fell it necessary to participate in the 'frame-ball clap', regardless of whether the player sitting in the chair might still win the frame with successful snookers.  They should be given one final warning before a life in detention, and have to wear some sort of electronic tag.

A few more serious offenders, who would probably even exhaust Shameless Chuckherbutty's patience, where assisting offenders is concerned.

1. Spectators at the PDC World Championship at Ally Pally who pay good money to shout 'Boring Boring Tables' .

2. Grown up men shouting the word 'BEEF" at the Open Golf Championship (and elsewhere).


One can only help that our allies in America can send a platoon of highly trained Navy Seals to 'terminate with extreme prejudice', as our own Armed Forces appear helpless to eliminate this horrendous problem.

Supporters of the losing team who are disconsolate but then when they are shown on the big screen,point at it and start smiling.

Grown men in replica football shirts crying after the last game of the season after their team is relegated. Often wearing black and white striped or maroon shirts

Fans at the training ground at 11pm transfer deadline day is quite worrying.

Some yanks were shouting 'get in the hole' during the recent solar elipse.

Not fans this one.

Cameras homing in on players family during the snooker or the darts followed by cringe worthy comments from a sniveling commentator.

The woman who shouts "Come on Andy/Tim/Greg just as he is about to serve, usually followed by the umpire saying
"quiet please" followed by a clap from the crowd.

People paying good money to attend sporting events and then not watching. 20/20 final day a good example. Baffling.

Tour De France fans take some beating, especially on the steep climbs. Running alongside the cyclist like lunatics.

Grown men with their faces painted.

Standing in a football ground in the middle of winter with no shirt on ffs.

Hating an American owned football team because you support a Middle East owned football team or vice versa .
Supporting a franchise on another continent .

Oriental football fans preferring to take pictures with their phones rather than watching something that probably cost them the best part of £100.