Had an accident in my new Ferrari last night

The stains will probably clean off but the smell will linger.

Gonna see if Fred's motors can pull it back into shape.
.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jul/28/ive-only-just-got-it-200000-ferrari-wrecked-in-m1-crash

Don't worry Freddie Bisco will sort you out a replacement.

Never heard of him !

He's known from coast to coast like butter and toast.

Ferraris are supposed to be red. Anyone buying a different colour is clearly a wrong'un and deserves to write the car off an hour out of the showroom.

If it had been an electric car it wouldn't have burned, the worst that would have happened is you'd be shocked and end up with hair like einstein or the professor from back to the future.

If it was the USA there would be a claim in for getting their big fat foot stuck on the accelerator.

I only loaned that car to The Leopard for a day and look what he did with it.

If ferraris etc are going to have to go electric, how are insecure men going to impress us in their overpriced cars by making pointless revving noises?

Are we going to hear like a high pitched whine, or will they put loudspeakrs in them with pre recorded V8 noises?

LOL that revving thing just reminded me of a fantastic video, this is well worth a watch:
Idiot in lambo revs the ar5e off it waiting in traffic, with the result that it bursts into flames:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PyTdevV4KA
Talk about Scadenfreude

Schadenfreude

My brake foot feels a bit numb.

Rechtschreibpolizei

Recht (broken) schreib (writing ) polizei (police )

No need to google

Actually you got the first part wrong, recht is (as often is case kind of similar to English) "right" (as in right,correct) so it's "right writing (spelling) police"

I'd have said Rechtschreibnazi but I don't want to mention the war.

https://grafikpolizei.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/grammarnazis.jpg

Kleinigkeitskrämer, they sometimes call them.

Eine Kleinigkeit = a trivial detail, and Krämer = small shopkeepers.

A fine word.

I thought you had Hungarian ancestry   ?

....or was it Slovakian?

vroom vroom vroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, ssssskrreeeeeeecch

ThumP.

Am I still alive?

**** my ass is grass...

Map of Ukraine in national colours next to his name, Leopard.

Maybe he had a good holiday there?

No longer a holiday destination unless you want to snipe at a few Russkies on the front line.
It must be very hard for him to see what's happening there now.

Would need a telescope for sure !

Are you applying for Crisp's job? I don't suppose he's worried.

Leopard -- i hope your fingernail  soon mends ..
I have heard of owners finger nails
breaking on trying to open those Dinky toy doors before -
Especially the Ferrari doors.

Claws, you mean ?

This should restore your faith in our much maligned police forces....

“Road conditions were wet at the time and, as officers arrived on scene, it became clear there was a vehicle well alight,
and colleagues from South Yorkshire fire and rescue were in attendance squirting water all over some kind of sporty motor some 50 or so metres down a banking,” read a post from South Yorkshire police on Facebook.

They are no fools, these South Yorkshire Police!

4 Bottles of Highland Spring 0.5 litre ........turns out.....they are not very effective !