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I was on my way up to Euston to visit my sick brother in law and the underground train was rammed.I spotted a vacant seat further up the carriage and went to sit down.Unfortunately just as i did the train jolted and i ended up sitting flush in the lap of a fellow passenger who happened to be working on his laptop.
I apologised profusely but as i went to get up the train jolted again which caused me to plonk myself back into his lap again.At this point i was going to attempt to make light of the situation by saying something like" you alright honkytonk" but decided against it when he said" why don't you fck off"
I apologised yet again.I looked opposite where i was sitting and there were a group of girls who were literally pi$$ing themselves.I did what i thought best and removed myself from the seat and sloped off further along the carriage and stood for the rest of the journey.If a young girl had been sitting in that seat i think i might have been arrested.
I apologised profusely but as i went to get up the train jolted again which caused me to plonk myself back into his lap again.At this point i was going to attempt to make light of the situation by saying something like" you alright honkytonk" but decided against it when he said" why don't you fck off"
I apologised yet again.I looked opposite where i was sitting and there were a group of girls who were literally pi$$ing themselves.I did what i thought best and removed myself from the seat and sloped off further along the carriage and stood for the rest of the journey.If a young girl had been sitting in that seat i think i might have been arrested.
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BTW it could have been worse, might have been a guy on the way to a gay-pride march. 
Was that his mobile in his pocket or was he just pleased to see you? 
The old "the train jolted, and i ended up nailed to your crotch" routine only ever works the first time twizzle.
I didn't have you down as greedy.
I didn't have you down as greedy.
I was on a train once and accidentally walked in on a woman using the toilet. I quickly apologised and closed the door. "Can you get the fück out?" she said.
Libertine ..
And you replied
"thats a funny name for it , i call it Dick "
And you replied
"thats a funny name for it , i call it Dick "
I woke up to a blöwjöb once. Last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
One of my friends used to have his hair cut in an exclusive stylists in Mayfair, by a very attractive young lady. He always got flustered being overcome by her beauty. He never returned after replying to her question "The usual sir?" His reply was "Yes please, the usual cut and ****!" Apparently there was half an hour of grim silence on both parts and he never had the guts to return.
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