Paul Nuttall Investigation - Update

Here (for those car be bothered to click on link) :

UKIP leader and award winning Motown producer Paul Nuttall is under investigation by police, into claims that he lied on his nomination papers.

The popular ’90’s DJ, who toured with Robbie Williams and Candy Flip at the height of his career, before losing his left leg in a hovercraft accident, maintains that he did not falsely claim to be living at an address in Stoke on Trent, which appeared to be still available to rent on the Internet, as well as completely devoid of furniture.

As the world’s first Muslim astronaut, Nuttal claims that the accusations of impropriety may be damaging to his career as an Olympic figure skater, and that he merely presented an “alternative fact” when questioned by Channel 4 on the telly.

Taking time out from his mercy mission to deliver food and toys to children in the migrant camp outside Calais, the Nobel prize wining heart surgeon and acclaimed horse-whisperer declined to comment further on the matter, claiming that he needed to concentrate on his prize-winning orchid collection and complete the Times crossword in under twelve minutes.  The quintuple-horned Cuntelope.

has he moved in with mrs farage ?