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29 Dec 16
10:12
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Date Joined:
27 May 11
well they will do when we get there
such a very outdated concept and doesn't mean anything other than a big financial loss should it end, which it usually does.
such a very outdated concept and doesn't mean anything other than a big financial loss should it end, which it usually does.
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I had a choice of her or another; I chose the other and me and my pension are still as one
Marrying is fine. But I dont get the people who spend thousands of dollars on it. Sheer stupidity.
Well I never married...and my life has been rubbish.
Marriage is ok, Divorce is the problem, we should ban it!
Marriage is ok, Divorce is the problem, we should ban it!
Pre nuptials should be legal in the UK, I would hazard a guess a lot fewer marriages would take place and fewer divorces would happen when married. Only used in court as guidance.
Marriage is a legal covenant between two people to provide a legal, financial, emotional and physical safeguard for them both, any children and wider society.
Not perfect but better than the alternatives.
For example...
A quarter of British children are being raised by a single parent, new figures reveal. Of the 1.8million single parent households in Britain, 650,000 of them are not in any sort of work.
Average single parent household in UK claims twice as much in benefit support as the average two-parent household.
Not perfect but better than the alternatives.
For example...
A quarter of British children are being raised by a single parent, new figures reveal. Of the 1.8million single parent households in Britain, 650,000 of them are not in any sort of work.
Average single parent household in UK claims twice as much in benefit support as the average two-parent household.
As far as I am aware, no one has yet got married in 2017.
I have indeed.
A less flippant response is simply that the act of marriage demonstrates a certain level of commitment that simple cohabitation does not.
Commitment versus motivation ?
Commitment wins every time for me.
A less flippant response is simply that the act of marriage demonstrates a certain level of commitment that simple cohabitation does not.
Commitment versus motivation ?
Commitment wins every time for me.
I think that I may well be getting married this year or the next.I believe in marriage and I know that day will be one of my happiest ever days.
As far as I am aware, no one has yet got married in 2017.
the first thing I posted was they will do when they get there
50% of all marriages end in divorce, and the break up always harms the kids the most, everyone is better off not getting married, do you really need a bit of paper to show commitment and stability financial wise or other, that simply all comes with staying together.
the first thing I posted was they will do when they get there
50% of all marriages end in divorce, and the break up always harms the kids the most, everyone is better off not getting married, do you really need a bit of paper to show commitment and stability financial wise or other, that simply all comes with staying together.
Where did your data to support the 50% divorce rate come from ?
Regardless of the actual percentage, the solution isn't to stop marriage, it's to work on avoiding divorce which starts with treating the entire marriage concept with the respect that it deserves, it's a lot more than just a good day out for your friends and family.
Regardless of the actual percentage, the solution isn't to stop marriage, it's to work on avoiding divorce which starts with treating the entire marriage concept with the respect that it deserves, it's a lot more than just a good day out for your friends and family.
Personally Angoose I think those views are a bit antiquated with the onset of social media sites. Temptation is all around and marriage will soon be a thing of the past with the new generation coming through. Sad but true imo
Interesting opinion Aspro and you may well be right but temptation has been around since forever.
My standard response to the job interview question of "what is your biggest weakness" pinches one of Oscar Wilde's many well known quotes that "I can resist everything except temptation".
My standard response to the job interview question of "what is your biggest weakness" pinches one of Oscar Wilde's many well known quotes that "I can resist everything except temptation".
Yeah I like that one too. I do agree with your views but temptation was either at work or at a social gathering (pub, wedding etc). Now you don't have to leave the house to find a thousand more to choose from.
It all comes down to responsibility.
I'm a late starter when it comes to having kids and I know that I wouldn't have fully appreciated the responsibility that this life privilege brings with it had I become a parent at the "normal" stage of my life.
Social and financial responsibility should be compulsory subjects for all at school and, of course, the parents have a huge role to play.
My views may well be seen as old fashioned, but I just can't see how the internet can be pointed to as a "justification" for reduced personal responsibility.
Life's what you make it and it requires hard work, there are no easy options for the vast majority of us.
I'm a late starter when it comes to having kids and I know that I wouldn't have fully appreciated the responsibility that this life privilege brings with it had I become a parent at the "normal" stage of my life.
Social and financial responsibility should be compulsory subjects for all at school and, of course, the parents have a huge role to play.
My views may well be seen as old fashioned, but I just can't see how the internet can be pointed to as a "justification" for reduced personal responsibility.
Life's what you make it and it requires hard work, there are no easy options for the vast majority of us.
I've often heard it said that marriage is just a piece of paper. If it is just that, then why not just sign it!
Seriously though, most marriages take place in Church and are solemn occasions with vows made before witnesses (not guests..) and of course God. The witnesses in a more overtly christian cermony are challenged to encourage and support the newlyweds going forward.
Let's face it, most of us go to a wedding for champers and smoked salmon...we've lost sight of the witnesses bit..and how many of us actively support the couples we saw get married?
There was this couple on the radio recently who had been married for 60 years I think. They were asked what was there secret. They said: ' we come from a generation that mended something if it was broken. Nowadays people throw away and replace.' Wow.
Seriously though, most marriages take place in Church and are solemn occasions with vows made before witnesses (not guests..) and of course God. The witnesses in a more overtly christian cermony are challenged to encourage and support the newlyweds going forward.
Let's face it, most of us go to a wedding for champers and smoked salmon...we've lost sight of the witnesses bit..and how many of us actively support the couples we saw get married?
There was this couple on the radio recently who had been married for 60 years I think. They were asked what was there secret. They said: ' we come from a generation that mended something if it was broken. Nowadays people throw away and replace.' Wow.
A nice wee quote there that captures the essence of the issue.
Of course, people should not remain in a relationship that is making them miserable but neither should they [a] jump in to such a relationship nor [b] should they simply abandon it at the first bump in the road.
There is a tendency in society to expect instant fixes and solutions.
Take a pill, download an app, do anything other than put in the necessary time and effort to create a lasting solution.
It is no coincidence that the best tennis players on the planet are the ones who make more sacrifices and put in more hard graft than the others.
The same principle applies in all other areas of our lives.
Soapbox now safely stored away for the day .....
Of course, people should not remain in a relationship that is making them miserable but neither should they [a] jump in to such a relationship nor [b] should they simply abandon it at the first bump in the road.
There is a tendency in society to expect instant fixes and solutions.
Take a pill, download an app, do anything other than put in the necessary time and effort to create a lasting solution.
It is no coincidence that the best tennis players on the planet are the ones who make more sacrifices and put in more hard graft than the others.
The same principle applies in all other areas of our lives.
Soapbox now safely stored away for the day .....
I once read a very detailed and interesting book about relationships and it asked the question, what is the biggest cause of a marriage breakdown? Can anyone guess (answer soon)
Didn't Cliff Richard have a song about the reason behind the breakdown of relationships ?
The answer, according to the book, was compatibility.
Many people meet another because they're good looking, sexy, rich, you name it. They get along for a short while before realising they have nothing in common. It made a lot of sense to me.
As for Cliff, I don't know Angoose; remind me.
Many people meet another because they're good looking, sexy, rich, you name it. They get along for a short while before realising they have nothing in common. It made a lot of sense to me.
As for Cliff, I don't know Angoose; remind me.
Used to think that life was sweet.
Used to think we were so complete.
I can't believe you'd throw it away.
Used to feel we had it made.
Used to feel we could sail away.
Can you imagine how I feel today.
Well it seems a long time ago you were the lonely one.
Now it comes to letting go you are the only one.
Do you know what you've done.
It's so funny how we don't talk anymore.
It's so funny why we don't talk anymore.
Used to think we were so complete.
I can't believe you'd throw it away.
Used to feel we had it made.
Used to feel we could sail away.
Can you imagine how I feel today.
Well it seems a long time ago you were the lonely one.
Now it comes to letting go you are the only one.
Do you know what you've done.
It's so funny how we don't talk anymore.
It's so funny why we don't talk anymore.
Compatibility is obvious when you stop and think about it and is a symptom of jumping on too soon.
The person that you marry needs to be your best friend and not simply your best shag.
The person that you marry needs to be your best friend and not simply your best shag.
Goyte song has similar meanings don't ya think? Explains a breakdown and repercussions quite well
In my experience, the unhappiest people are the ones that married. Don't know if anyone else has sense that ?
Indeed. A bit of a one hit wonder wasn't he.
Just discovered that Somebody That I Used To Know was co written by Adam Horovitz out of the Beastie Boys along with Mr Gotye himself.
A very interesting piece of trivia that will be stored away for future use when I need to fight for my right to party .....
Just discovered that Somebody That I Used To Know was co written by Adam Horovitz out of the Beastie Boys along with Mr Gotye himself.
A very interesting piece of trivia that will be stored away for future use when I need to fight for my right to party .....
I never married because I fecked up with the only woman I truly cared about; I didn't want to settle too young so I let her go. Since then I've not found it again. Perhaps I should have been Gay but after my colonoscopy I'm glad I didn't... once was enough!
How many marriages result from relationships formed from a drunken shag ?
Don't know if there is data available on that but it would be interesting.
Not an advocate of arranged marriages by any means but there is something to be said for the process used in some societies.
Again, would be great to have data to show divorce rates from such unions.
Don't know if there is data available on that but it would be interesting.
Not an advocate of arranged marriages by any means but there is something to be said for the process used in some societies.
Again, would be great to have data to show divorce rates from such unions.
In my opinion there is only one true Utopia and that is happiness. If you have that you have everything.
Looking back on my relationships I only had one from a pub/club. It turned out to be the worst of them all and has caused me untold grief. Too late to say never again.
Looking back on my relationships I only had one from a pub/club. It turned out to be the worst of them all and has caused me untold grief. Too late to say never again.
Aspro 29 Dec 16 18:54
The answer, according to the book, was compatibility.
Incompatibility shirley
The answer, according to the book, was compatibility.
Incompatibility shirley
Interestingly, there are studies that tell us that happiness is a choice.
Happiness is a choice. Many people think they are genetically predisposed to being happy or unhappy, in general, while others believe happiness is determined by their environment. But as it turns out, 90 percent of our happiness is determined by how we view the world. Actual reality can predict only 10 percent of our happiness.
Happiness is a choice. Many people think they are genetically predisposed to being happy or unhappy, in general, while others believe happiness is determined by their environment. But as it turns out, 90 percent of our happiness is determined by how we view the world. Actual reality can predict only 10 percent of our happiness.
I've spent a lot of time in countries with high levels of poverty yet found the people there to be amongst the happiest that I have ever encountered, this is backed up by published studies.
We all need to listen to Bobby, don't worry, be happy .......
We all need to listen to Bobby, don't worry, be happy .......
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