Someone's Adjusted My Toaster!!!

but Cooperman you live alone? keep taking your medication. they're all imaginary.

It's probably the same joker, who thinks it's a right laugh swapping around the keys on my PC keyboard!

I put birdseye potato waffles in

What type of toaster do you have? I reckon toast has to be from an uncut loaf and that something is definitely lost in the slicing operation.

i just use the cooker grill - it's the way I was tot.

Have you any idea of the cost of using your grill compared to a toaster?
If you are making six slices it's probably not too bad, but just one or two slices is ridiculous!

I love those toasters in hotels where it's a conveyor belt and all fancy mechanical stuff and your toast plops off the far end. But then .. when you put your bread in one, and turn around to get a coffee and an orange juice, turn back and some for'n thieving b*stard is walking off with YOUR toast ..

To me the greatest sin isn't murder, it is this, the most evil of crimes. Toast theft.
All hotels should have a dungeon and an affiliated executioner for these people.

You could try feeding them into the machine.  Hence the saying  - 'YOU ARE TOAST'

You'd have to get to them before they cut up the toast. Because then they would have soldiers.

Sabotage it so that it doesn't cut out, and they get incinerated bread!

"i just use the cooker grill - it's the way I was tot."

Totally agree, a toaster dries out the bread, cooker grill is best.

A gas won is betterer

I put birdseye potato waffles in

From frozen?

A toasting fork and an open coal fire for me. But don't turn your back on it or the dog will lick it.

They may not be fashionable but I love those clamp down toasty makers - fantastic things.
Just have to watch for molten cheese burns if you over do it.

Do not, if you value your tastebuds, ever put a tomato in one.