Plaice betting at Windsor.

I've spent 8 minutes thinking about types of fish, but I still can't think of a reply...except for this...obviously...

I wonder why we don't race fish. We race horses, dogs, camels, elephants, ostriches and even beetles. So why not fish?

the going would be too soft ffs

What a load of carp.
Perch yourself somewhere else.

I've been looking for somewhere to race my thoroughbred seahorses for ages.

They could race at Hadock.

Some well eeled punters over there and the jockeys don't mind getting on the scales.

I'll be gutted if they lose though.

If you decide to have a bet, watch out for the sharks.