If an alien spaceship landed in your garden tonight ...

You really need to try and drink less when your wee team has a bad result.

Shrewd_Fud, if the question is too complicated for you it would be better not to answer than show your ignorance.

Muppet.

seething. Poor wee Trilbers.

How am I seething?

Rangers drew = so what?
Chelsea are kicking arse = so what?
Morton won = so what?

You are a fud = fact.

Seething = being very aggressive and throwing out abuse.

Keep your chin up little buddy.

You started the abuse with the first reply on this Fred, now, away you go and do one chum.

I gave you some rock solid advice Trilbers.

I would initially contemplate directing the pilot toward the Kremlin.

Any other ideas?

If I thought I was going to be .. "probed" .. I'd say I don't know but I know a man who does.

Just in case this happens, does anyone know Bito's phone number, I think he'd enjoy it?

.

I've got cheese!

Would probably be gunned out the sky. I'm trying to get a visa to go there in a couple of months and even thats extremely complex.

So, Shrewdy, in which direction would you point the pilot?

(no double entendre intended, Bito)

Tynecastle.

How's about President Assad of Syria?  He must know a few things.

Why else would "The West" not have taken him out by now instead of continuing with war in his country, thus providing Europe with refugees?

Kissinger should be thoroughly probed but it would be difficult to get passed his BS.

Netanyahu too.

Is it immodest to say I'd just point at myself?

That is not a valid answer, JC - ffs!  I thought we had some intelligent people in here.

My Aunty Kittys in Salford - makes a lovely cup of tea and home made scones and if they fancied it/or never had it she would most certainly oblige with a little bit of the hows your father - always been a game old bird!!

Fck me, if I'd have known you were still alive GR I would have no hesitation at all in directing the pilot toward your Aunt Kit's in the off chance you might pop in for a cuppa!

I get red robbins in my garden, no aliens thus far.

I'd point them in direction of a celtic forum.
All financial and company law wizards.

Aka, what you suggest is the polar opposite of wot I wrote in my OP ... "take him / her / it to the wisest living person on Earth" ffs

I would politely request a bag of gold before parting with any information.

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This is a thinly veiled "I've an alien pointing a ray gun at my head" thread from Trillby.
And I stupidly solved his "test" of fixing his monitor, to prove I'm smartest person on the forum.

They're on the way. It's a hard probing for me later. They're coming in dry.

I would tell them that I myself am the wisest person on the planet,and that am not into probing and I won't be getting on any spaceship today thankyou very much !

Feb 13, 2016 -- 10:04PM, Just Checking wrote:

This is a thinly veiled "I've an alien pointing a ray gun at my head" thread from Trillby.And I stupidly solved his "test" of fixing his monitor, to prove I'm smartest person on the forum.They're on the way. It's a hard probing for me later. They're coming in dry.

Not only that mate, they use sandpaper as Durex

Feb 13, 2016 -- 10:06PM, mle4me wrote:

I would tell them that I myself am the wisest person on the planet,and that am not into probing and I won't be getting on any spaceship today thankyou very much !

Are you Jeremy Corbyn in disguise?

If I get to a time when I've not got long to go, I think I'd happily be fired off into space on a one way trip, as long as I got a few days to look at the earth etc. Maybe when decommissioning old rockets, they should sell trips to such people.
I'm sure a spaceship that doesn't need to come back could be quite cheap? Just run some white sealant round the cracks of an old Lada and pop in an oxygen bottle.

Well, it's that time of the night already and this good-looking Rangers lad need his beauty sleep, so, without any ado I will wish you all a good night with sweet dreams.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8e1zWT9R1Y

How many of you can name the compere afore her name appears in the final credits?

Byeeeeeeeeeeeee ............... for now

Right, I'm defo away now and what a fitting end to my Fred ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yo70zaatDTA

I'm about to go out, so can't answer atm, but imo this thread deserves more attention. I like threads with aliens in.