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I was sent to review some accounts at a very upmarket Gentleman's club in the West End. Not a big job, just a day out and a decent lunch. Couple of hours in I realised there was something dodgy going on ... anyway cashier had pinched £50k (in 1980). Was asked to help with investigation, somebody at club leaked details and apparently I was described in the Daily Mail as ... a sharp eyed accountant (friend told me) Yes folks DAILY MAIL !!
And even bigger ... early 1960s went to Bramhall Lane to watch Blades v Spurs. Only 11 or 12 at the time ... behind goal with a light coloured coat on. Match of the Day (or whatever it was in those days) on in the evening ... there's mememe in light coat. Surprised that camera didn't dwell on me as I must say I was a handsome devil ... but director preferred to focus on Jimmy Greaves.
And even bigger ... early 1960s went to Bramhall Lane to watch Blades v Spurs. Only 11 or 12 at the time ... behind goal with a light coloured coat on. Match of the Day (or whatever it was in those days) on in the evening ... there's mememe in light coat. Surprised that camera didn't dwell on me as I must say I was a handsome devil ... but director preferred to focus on Jimmy Greaves.
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I'm the dry cleaner in Worcester and I did the laundry for a large lottery winner.
What rotten luck !
I'm sure that "Saint and MeMeMe" would have made for a far more entertaining Saturday lunchtime televisual feast than the execrable "Saint and Greavsie" ever was.
But well done anyway to you and those sharp eyes for catching that wretched embezzler.
I'm sure that "Saint and MeMeMe" would have made for a far more entertaining Saturday lunchtime televisual feast than the execrable "Saint and Greavsie" ever was.
But well done anyway to you and those sharp eyes for catching that wretched embezzler.
Thanks alun ...
I could have been famous, I really could.
Apparently when I was 3 or 4 (I can't remember) I was invited up on to the stage at Middleton's holiday camp in Morecombe. My parents said I did a flawless recitation of "Higgedly Piggedly my black hen, she lays eggs for gentlemen, etc". They say the crowd rose as one (not to applaud, but to go home).
In the words of Yvonne Ellerman "It should have been me"
I could have been famous, I really could.
Apparently when I was 3 or 4 (I can't remember) I was invited up on to the stage at Middleton's holiday camp in Morecombe. My parents said I did a flawless recitation of "Higgedly Piggedly my black hen, she lays eggs for gentlemen, etc". They say the crowd rose as one (not to applaud, but to go home).
In the words of Yvonne Ellerman "It should have been me"
I was once described in the Post as the "professional punter" who had taken 33/1 about the runner-up in a Wolverhampton seller, but who had no complaints, with the winner giving him his first victory as an owner.
All accurate. Apart from the "no complaints" bit.
All accurate. Apart from the "no complaints" bit.
I was once arrested in South London by police who mistakenly believed I was an IRA fugitive.
Got on the bench for England at rugby union, never got a cap though 
Johnny was that in Brixton by any chance? Used to be a hotbed of fund raising there.
I had a major dilemma workrider whether to play for Ireland or England, the set up always favoured England I have to say. I felt really disloyal to my Dad but he understood.
Given his record of liking no neck bints, tis no surprise he went down the Engerlish route..
A mate of mine once recorded a version of Lean On Me and released it as a single. Got played a lot in Denmark, Radio Lurpak, that sort of thing. Then he took Anne Nightingale out to dinner, and she said she might play the record. At the time his girlfriend had just chucked him out, and for a few brief hours it looked possible I might have the nation's number one kipping downstairs on the sofa.
Unfortunately not quite enough people bought the single. I mean, I didn't for one. The last I heard he was teaching English in Milan and having a high old time as la pop star inglese.
Unfortunately not quite enough people bought the single. I mean, I didn't for one. The last I heard he was teaching English in Milan and having a high old time as la pop star inglese.
loads and loads of newspaper headlines about me lol
I think "nearly famous" implies a lack of newspaper headlines.
I pitched an idea about a film about the Cheltenham Festival to an independent producer, who loved the idea.
We approached the BBC and got the green light to begin researching and come up with a budget for this, which was accepted by the original commissioning editor....who then left the Beeb and his replacement sh1tcanned us!
Not that I'm bitter, may he rot in hell.
We approached the BBC and got the green light to begin researching and come up with a budget for this, which was accepted by the original commissioning editor....who then left the Beeb and his replacement sh1tcanned us!
Not that I'm bitter, may he rot in hell.
oh right enough sorry i must be famous what a plonker
Should have made him eat your cheese, roger.
I was mentioned numerous times in an article about the Poll Tax by esteemed former Independent journalist Jim White, and later interviewed by him for my reaction to Cntess Thatcher's departure from Downing Street. He misquoted me in both but my language is a little more 'industrial' than his!
A year or so ago I was outside a boozer having a sip or several in the late summer sun when someone I hadn't seen for over 20 years sat next to me and said "Hello Tommy. Can you just give the bloke sitting on the next bench a wave as I've bet him £20 it's you."
"Who is he?" I asked.
"The bloke who used to run the Midland Snooker Hall" Came the reply.
"I've only ever been in there twice in my life!" I exclaimed.
"Ah, but you were famous Tommy!" Was his response.
I couldn't stop chuckling!
So, no great shakes to fame, but (apparently) I was once famous in a Stoke-on-Trent snooker hall - even though I only visited it twice.
"Who is he?" I asked.
"The bloke who used to run the Midland Snooker Hall" Came the reply.
"I've only ever been in there twice in my life!" I exclaimed.
"Ah, but you were famous Tommy!" Was his response.
I couldn't stop chuckling!
So, no great shakes to fame, but (apparently) I was once famous in a Stoke-on-Trent snooker hall - even though I only visited it twice.
screaming from beneaththewaves
Joined: 30 Jan 05
Replies: 8581
25 Jan 16 17:52
Should have made him eat your cheese, roger.
I did - when he didn't commission my second idea , 'Inner City Sumo'
Tony Hayers - the copper-bottomed bstrd!!
Joined: 30 Jan 05
Replies: 8581
25 Jan 16 17:52
Should have made him eat your cheese, roger.
I did - when he didn't commission my second idea , 'Inner City Sumo'
Tony Hayers - the copper-bottomed bstrd!!
I once did a thirty minute interview for Russia Today. Don't tell The Leopard.
I was quite a looker as a young fella and for a while earned a living as a model. Anyway, one day I was in the cinema in my hometown with a mate watching the adverts before the feature, which was The Matrix, when an advert came on that I was in. There was a couple of lasses behind us, one of whom said, "Oh that's that Desmond Orchard, I've heard about him he's from round here.". I had just started puffing out my chest when her friend's reply was, "Well, he's no Keanu Reeves is he, what time is the film supposed to start?".
My mate practically wet himself.
My mate practically wet himself.
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