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My mate died with a hard on, the funeral parlour phoned his wife and said there was a problem,
as it was to be an open casket for the 'wake' they offered a time honoured solution, they would cut it off and secret it in the body, in the anus, that's fine she said, On the day of the 'wake' a careless flower girl freshening the displays dropped some water on the body and it looked for all intents and purpose that the deceased was crying, the wife seeing this walked over to the coffin and whispered......................fckin hurts doesn't it you bastard!!!, |
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Last time Naked Men were put in the Hangmans Noose many years ago,
they used to get a semi-hard on and Ejaculate over the watching crowd ![]() ![]() |
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Come, come now sid, TMI,
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A friend of mine said he woke up with one ... only saying, like.
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The Rolling Stones said it best, “You, you make a dead man ****.” A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients-a dead man.
The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia. According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded have sex with him. Much to her surprise, the alleged victim came to orgasm after several minutes. A few weeks later, Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test while receiving a routine medical exam. Upon telling her doctor the circumstances leading to the conception, the police were notified. Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her dilapidated trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary. In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support. - 19/05/2013 07:14:00 - Source: newspitter I don't know if that's true or not ![]() |
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Mourning Glory Mortuary
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The child will probably be a dead ringer of his/her dad.
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My Friends wife was on Court Jury duty,
A Male worker was on trial for having sex with Dead women in a Mortuary he worked in, He was caught out because his Wife went to the Doctors then the Hospital with a rare Vaginal Disease she caught from him, Which can only be transmitted by having sex with dead Females. |
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Incest, relatively boring, Necrophilia, dead boring.
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![]() ![]() ![]() a few years ago i read about a woman who had gone to see her doctor with a problem in her private region. the doctor notified the police as the problem she had could only be contracted from sex with a corpse or sex with someone who had themselves had sex with a corpse. it turned out her boyfriend worked in a mortuary and had been doing stiffs. i dont think they are together anymore. |
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An extra Mortual affair, unforgivable, imo.
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"Vulvar Myiasis" (in women) or "Myiasis" (in men). It has to do with rotten flesh which contract fly larvae (maggots) which will cause a disgusting smell in ladies play centers.
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of fish?
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if you die with a stiffy on does that mean when st peter greets you at the gates of heaven you will be hard?
i like these serious threads that address issues of profound importance ![]() |
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Last time Naked Men were put in the Hangmans Noose many years ago,they used to get a semi-hard on and Ejaculate over the watching crowd -
Putting a rope around your neck/strangulation to get a hard on - Michael Hutchence tried that - toooo risky ![]() Conservative MP for Eastleigh Stephen Milligan. "The body was naked except for a pair of stockings and suspenders." But he refused to comment on rumours the politician was also bound and gagged..... ![]() |
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Satsuma wasn't it
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Surely with rigor mortis everyone does.
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A nurse once told me - if you die in Hospital ...
to stop any leakage they tie a ribbon around your knob, and a cork up your rear - she didn't tell me whether or not the old fella was standing to attention or not ... ![]() |
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I hope I get an attractive nurse when my time comes. Be something to look forward to.
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Hospital it is then!
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Yeah .. he was a stand up guy.
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Straight to the point
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Hes dead now .... but expecting his reserection soon.
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Some of you guys on here really "crack me up" ....
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