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I'm sure we've all given this a lot of thought, but for some reason nobody's started a thread on it, so here we go. This is my (semi-adopted) cat.
I think she weighs about 3kg and she's quite good at hunting, although somewhat cowardly. She's very self-centered, even for a cat, so I'm sure she'd try to eat me if she could.
I'd definitely lose a fight to a cheetah, and they weigh roughly half what I do. But I'm not sure how a domestic cat would be able to finish me off - don't think her jaws are strong enough. I suppose something in the region of 6kg and 60cm tall could be a good match for her.
NB (in case Kenny Mann reads this): Do not actually shrink yourself and fight your pet. It's cruel.
I'm sure we've all given this a lot of thought, but for some reason nobody's started a thread on it, so here we go. This is my (semi-adopted) cat.
I think she weighs about 3kg and she's quite good at hunting, although somewhat cowardly. She's very self-centered, even for a cat, so I'm sure she'd try to eat me if she could.
I'd definitely lose a fight to a cheetah, and they weigh roughly half what I do. But I'm not sure how a domestic cat would be able to finish me off - don't think her jaws are strong enough. I suppose something in the region of 6kg and 60cm tall could be a good match for her.
NB (in case Kenny Mann reads this): Do not actually shrink yourself and fight your pet. It's cruel.
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You crack me up Patra. I dont have a pet but I shall take on that cat of yours. I think you are about right 60 cm and 6kg. Tactics would be important, think you got to jump on the cats back and get it in a headlock. Fighting a gold fish would be interesting too.
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Cats are really squirmy, though. I think it would be very hard to get one in a headlock.
I suppose with a goldfish, assuming the goldfish stayed in water, there would be big range where it would be a definite draw because you'd be unable to harm each other. I guess if you weighed below half a gram, a goldfish could drag you under and drown you. Not really sure how much you'd have to weigh to be a threat to the goldfish. 20g? 50g? |
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I think my Doberman could take me quite easily if she ever wanted to. Thankfully I don't think it would ever come to it.
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How big would you have to be for it to be a 50/50 game though. If anyone has a pet badger I would like to hear their thoughts.
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I have badgers visit my garden most evenings.
My thoughts are that you are all completely bonkers  |
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They reckon a badger could prob beat any dog in a fight. Therefore could it beat a human man? Hamsters or Guinea Pig would be a good one. 20cm tall reckon would make it a close fight.
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I have fish.
I wouldn't back them at any price on land even if I was the size of a flea. |
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Have you ever seen a serious cat fight ? If a cat flew at your face in a rage, it would make aright mess of it .
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Lion vs horse looks a fair match:
 On that basis here's an even-money opponent for your cat:  |
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My cat would fk that right up imo.
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I've seen a cat send a staffie packing.
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I would not fancy fighting my cat if I was the same size as him...he is seriously vicious in a fight
I would stay the weight I am, I feel safer |
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2015 -- 9:32PM, Makybe_Diva wrote:
I have badgers visit my garden most evenings.My thoughts are that you are all completely bonkers Could you do us a favour and try to fight one? Thanks in advance. I've just tried mentally scaling up my cat to the proportions equivalent to those implied by my OP and it's quite a terrifying prospect. I'm glad she only weighs 3kg. Surely you can't just go and fight the badger just like that? Wouldn't there have to be a 'qualifying period' where the badger is officially your pet for a period of time, to allow the possible build up of affection. That would surely have an effect on the outcome of the fight? For example, you might be losing the fight, then whisper to the badger 'remember the good times we had rummaging around the hedgerows together', and whilst he / she is momentarily distracted, deliver a fatal uppercut! |
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JOCI
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Humans are spectacularly ill equipped for fighting hand to hand, we just don't have the tools for the job, whereas cats are killing machines. You would last seconds against a cat half your weight, so might want to rethink your sizing. You'd want to be a minimum of six times it's weight I reckon to be 50/50, ten times to be reasonably sure of victory.
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Are we allowed to grow our nails long?
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Would shin up your wardrobe and strike from above
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Hmmph. I gave her some trout yesterday.
Does anyone have multiple pets? Or, even better, different types of pets? |
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I think, for most normal men, shrinking to 6kg you would be in trouble. Patra and I though don't fk about, the cat is in trouble for sure. Cats and dogs and goldfish are also thick as fk. We can set traps where they end up in a hole in the ground and they can't get out. We could just watch them starve to death whilst laughing.
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rob_dylan
We could just watch them starve to death whilst laughing.  I would like to watch you starve to death rob would give me a lot of laughs |
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How long is it going to take you to dig this hole Rob, bearing in mind you're only 2ft tall and 6Kg in weight? My cat can get over our back fence by leaping scrambling and that's 7ft high. Based on current scaling, assuming you're a six footer, you would need to dig a hole the approximate size of decent townhouse, on your own, in the time it takes for your cat to get hungry/notice you. I think you may need another plan, old boy.
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My wife's just bought a nice poinsetta for Christmas ... it's very red (which signals danger in the animal and plant world), but I'm not scared of it.
Yesterday, as I walked past it, it brushed my arm and I spilt some of my tea. "oi, I said" in a tough sounding voice "careful, you made me spill my tea". It made no eye contact, just sat there in its pot looking rather diffidently. "Do that again and I'll rip one of your fookin leaves off". It went very quiet. Probably if it was as big as a 6 foot Christmas tree, it might be a different story (BTW, don't mess with big Christmas trees - very tetchy this time of year) |
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Somebody's looking for Rob. |
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i'd say if you trebled her size, she'd maul you like a chocolate bar.
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half a cup of antifreeze would see to that fat barsteward.
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Cat flees horse.  Cat flees dog. Fleas are about the only thing that cat didn't flee. |
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Anyone got a canary?
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My pet earthworms can get quite feisty at times.
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I'd be well up for hearing how that fight would go down!
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They could drag you down underground and suffocate you in leaf mould...If you were small enough.
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