Ever had a seriously itchy bum hole?

Any excuse

Fark orf, i treasure my jaffa cakes. Maybe i will use some dripping instead..

Classic case of worms, three hail Marys and four our Fathers should do the trick.

I'm sat on a wire brush at the mo..

Soon find out if the hound likes worms..

He's going out with the fishermen, and he'll be coming home with the crabs!

Ask your accountant, he'll probably work it out with his pencil.

I suggest you get yourself a bidet and use it if you haven't already got one.

Now that you mention yes i have and i will tell you this.......When i gave it a good old scratch it was the closest thing to an Orgasm i have ever had.

I had a girlfriend who was allergic to latex condoms.
Have you considered asking your partner to change?

Sorry

Could be common ants ... apparently, this time of year they like to go and build a nest somewhere warm and dry.

Do you get a sensation like ants building a nest ... if so this could be the issue?

Concoct a mixture of crushed garlic /lemon juice and listerine to 5 parts water apply to cloth and affected area.Reapply daily
You will soon forget the itch. Will cure the problem but you may hit the roof prior to being cured.

Thrush or Ringworm. You can buy some ointment in chemists part of any large store.

Al dente

Sorry, but I must take issue with your diagnosis ... definitely not thrushes building a nest at this time of year - normally it's done in the spring.

As for ringworm, unlikely, as these little devils usually make a sound like bells chiming, espcially at this time of year.

HTH

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Concoct a mixture of crushed garlic /lemon juice and listerine to 5 parts water apply to cloth and affected area.Reapply daily
You will soon forget the itch. Will cure the problem but you may hit the roof prior to being cured.

Thanks for that Geoff, unfortunately i now need something for nipped nuts as my hound got rather carried away with my exceptional dripping...

Dec 19, 2015 -- 2:15PM, Just Checking wrote:

I had a girlfriend who was allergic to latex condoms. Have you considered asking your partner to change? Sorry

Very good

I know the feeling, I'm always scratching it!

I keep putting it down to spending hours sat in my computer chair.

Had it once, dear lord

Canestan is your personal membrane's friend.

the inside of a banana skin can relieve itchy skin, including anal itching.

Wonderful.

I can just imagine hoards of chit-chatters now peeling a banana to rub their bums on!

Try snorting a few bob martins G2D

As his name is gaviscon; i'm going to try it. Maybe i should swally the phucker first though and go in the front way?

And thanks to all for the help in regards to my nipped nuts....

Piles of good advice on here..

Don't drag it across the carpet........ they'll take you to the vets.

Yep ...
you've definately got worms - have you got a mate that goes fishing ?
You could sell him some..