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04 Sep 15
21:00
Joined:
Date Joined:
16 Sep 06
Hi, I'm nearly 40, fit and healthy, divorced with a 6 yr old kid and haven't dated for 6 years.
Can't be arsed with internet dating ( mainly because my photo seems to put women off ) and don't like hanging out down the pub.
Any tips for meeting women? I know this is the right place to ask.
Can't be arsed with internet dating ( mainly because my photo seems to put women off ) and don't like hanging out down the pub.
Any tips for meeting women? I know this is the right place to ask.
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Post your photo so I can see where you're going wrong.
Some people are not photogenic, im in that category but i get i eyed up daily. (i think)
Judging people by a photo is just plain stupid.
Judging people by a photo is just plain stupid.
next time you see a girl,tell her to get her coat you are taking her out.
Stick with the internet dating, just get some pictures of
another man uploaded, bingo! your now halfway there, ie the meeting/date
another man uploaded, bingo! your now halfway there, ie the meeting/date
There was a programme on young people in China on BBC3 this week. There is huge pressure put on them by their parents to be married by the time they are 25. Men are outnumbering women because of the one child policy so they showed this guy loitering in the street stopping any woman he liked the look of and asking her to swap numbers. The first two told him to go away but the third gave him her number. You could try that.
I am telling you again,tell her to get her coat you are leaving her home,this chat up line always worked for Eddie Irvine the formula 1 racing driver.
As you have a young child, the school run would seem to be the obvious place, lots of single mums and you'll have your kids to talk about as an easy opening line.
Simple plan:
Go to nearest decent sized supermarket and loiter around the deli counter. When a lady that takes your fancy approaches the counter and starts eying up the goods then sidle up to her from behind and whisper in her ear, "I've got a pound of sausage that you can nibble on if you like." (n.b. it is important that she doesn't can't confirm it was you at this point.)
When she turns around in disgust, you also turn and go and punch the closest innocent male bystander whilst exclaiming that you heard what he said and were similarly disgusted by his behaviour.
She will be impressed by your heroism and apologetic that she assumed it was you... you are in... never fails, try it.
Go to nearest decent sized supermarket and loiter around the deli counter. When a lady that takes your fancy approaches the counter and starts eying up the goods then sidle up to her from behind and whisper in her ear, "I've got a pound of sausage that you can nibble on if you like." (n.b. it is important that she doesn't can't confirm it was you at this point.)
When she turns around in disgust, you also turn and go and punch the closest innocent male bystander whilst exclaiming that you heard what he said and were similarly disgusted by his behaviour.
She will be impressed by your heroism and apologetic that she assumed it was you... you are in... never fails, try it.
How about a refugee?, there are loads to choose from and I'm sure there must be some attractive single women amongst them.
you'ream idiot, i am in exactly the same boa as you even with a 6 year old daughter, go on eharmony, put up a photo that is vaguely ok. If youve got bad teeth keep your mouth shut. Women like personality more than looks. You will get loads of dates. I have a fantastic bird now with very little effort on my part
Do you not have time to go out and meet people ?!
Find a girl you fancy and just follow her about. Hang around her place of work or home.
Women love attention.
Women love attention.
Never tried this myself but a friend swears by it. Join a gym and go regularly. After a while you spark up friendships with others and you never know - She might just be one of them. Good luck!
i used to go down my local gym, but there was never anyone else there. The only conversation I would spark up was with the old bloke who'd sign me in
have you got money in your bank account? if so then you should have no problem attracting a mate. thai brides/ ukrainian girlfriends/ sugar daddy websites are all good options for you.
have you got money in your bank account? if so then you should have no problem attracting a mate. thai brides/ ukrainian girlfriends/ sugar daddy websites are all good options for you.
Walk around your local shopping centre with your plonker out in the erect position and see what happens. Ladies love confidence.
Have you thought about posting on a random internet forum mainly populated by fat alcoholic gambling blokes?
"Find a girl you fancy and just follow her about, Hang around her place of work or home"
You'd get done by the Police as a "stalker"
You'd get done by the Police as a "stalker"
Buy a cute dog and take walkies twice a day, women who would never talk to you will bend over backwards to, trust me.
I must have struck up conversations with dozens this year alone.
... to give you a b l o w j o b
1. You spill coffee down your trousers and then tell her you have to take them off and rinse out the coffee to avoid a stain;
2. (You've already had the prescience to train a pet wasp to come at your command and settle on you without stinging). You then whistle the wasp to come and settle on your exposed todger (you're best to have spread a bit on jam on it earlier - your todger, not the wasp - or it may settle on your knee);
3. you then pretend the wasp has stung you, that you're allergic to wasp stings , and that could she suck the poison out before you go into shock.
It works every time
1. You spill coffee down your trousers and then tell her you have to take them off and rinse out the coffee to avoid a stain;
2. (You've already had the prescience to train a pet wasp to come at your command and settle on you without stinging). You then whistle the wasp to come and settle on your exposed todger (you're best to have spread a bit on jam on it earlier - your todger, not the wasp - or it may settle on your knee);
3. you then pretend the wasp has stung you, that you're allergic to wasp stings , and that could she suck the poison out before you go into shock.
It works every time
Tell her that there's a party in your pants and she's invited - It can't fail 
We were once sitting next to a bunch of girls who were swapping photo's. One was looking at a baby and said "I'd love a wee baby"
Quick as a flash I said "wanna go half whack with a bastard?"
My greatest ever chat up line, perhaps the O/P should try that in Tesco's next time he's there.
Quick as a flash I said "wanna go half whack with a bastard?"
My greatest ever chat up line, perhaps the O/P should try that in Tesco's next time he's there.
hang around kebab shop at 2 am with a taxi on standby..purchase a couple of large donners
and entice a fat bird with the offer of kebab and a free taxi...never fails.
and entice a fat bird with the offer of kebab and a free taxi...never fails.
The "join a gym' idea is cr@p!
True, there are some fit people there of both genders, but even making I contact is an invasion of their space!
They are there for one reason only, and often in limited time, and will not be happy to have some, 'over the hill reject'
getting in the way of that!
Most of the members wear head phones in any case, and that is partly to distance people, and not just for the music (a bit like people on the tube)
with headphones and a magazine.
True, there are some fit people there of both genders, but even making I contact is an invasion of their space!
They are there for one reason only, and often in limited time, and will not be happy to have some, 'over the hill reject'
getting in the way of that!
Most of the members wear head phones in any case, and that is partly to distance people, and not just for the music (a bit like people on the tube)
with headphones and a magazine.
They are there for one reason only, and often in limited time, and will not be happy to have some, 'over the hill reject'
getting in the way of that!
getting in the way of that!
Trying swimming Saturday mornings or Sundays with your young lad , must be plenty t1ts on offer at the baths
Get out to some of the women's cricket and football matches. Take your lad you might both enjoy it.
After hard gym sessions hormones are all over the place. Obviously being a guy with a six pack and nice smile will be more effective but even a fat chit chatter has half a chance
Walking dog most be the easiest way to meet desperate single women.
The daddy of them all is to pay for stuff with £50 notes and tell them ur a pro gambler
Walking dog most be the easiest way to meet desperate single women.
The daddy of them all is to pay for stuff with £50 notes and tell them ur a pro gambler
OP the work place is the best to find birds if you have no social life left. Presumably you don't work (as per most on this forum) maybe you could do a few hours a week voluntary? Or join some evening class maybe? Find somewhere where there is plenty of women obviously. You need to have access to women to pull them.
Stay away from them.
Me ma says they're "dirty"!
Me ma says they're "dirty"!
you've not dated for 6 years , have you slightly misspelled your forum name? 
Go to "Speed Dating" with a Halfords Top Rubber hose down yer trousers !
Two things not to do....dont turn up to your first date in a transit van with blacked out windows....and secondly, if dating a larger lady, telling her she doesnt sweat much for a "fat bird", isnt usually viewed as a compliment...
How to get a girlfriend?
Act like a total c**t.
Being nice gets you nowhere because women are stupid.
Act like a total c**t.
Being nice gets you nowhere because women are stupid.
Don't despair, it came as a surprise to me when I realised many years ago that women are just as stupid as men.
I was married for 16 years to a hideous money grabber, got divorced, lost my lovely house as she had nothing and the judge was completely on her side. I never thought I'd be in love again after that horrendous experience which cost me about £600K.
Lo and behold, I was walking Muttley 2 months ago and stopped off for a mid afternoon livener on the way back to my house and a truly beautiful woman approached me whilst I was sitting on my own with my pint, my dog and checking out the days racing ahead on my phone. We are now going to get married and in all my years (I'm 49 tomorrow) I have never known a feeling of such love and adoration ever. You just don't know what or who is waiting around the corner in life and I have never been happier in my entire life.
Lo and behold, I was walking Muttley 2 months ago and stopped off for a mid afternoon livener on the way back to my house and a truly beautiful woman approached me whilst I was sitting on my own with my pint, my dog and checking out the days racing ahead on my phone. We are now going to get married and in all my years (I'm 49 tomorrow) I have never known a feeling of such love and adoration ever. You just don't know what or who is waiting around the corner in life and I have never been happier in my entire life.
Good on yer slippy,always find that when I am out walking the dogs I get chatting to women. Labradors are especially good at pulling birds !
You met her 2 months ago and are getting married Slippy ? 
What the fack was in that pint ?
What the fack was in that pint ?
Yeah I find that when I'm sitting on my own drinking reading the racing women find it very attractive.
treetop, my dog is a Pomeranian, he is an absolute chick magnet of the highest order and without walking him that afternoon I would have never met my soulmate!
PF, it was a lager top and my first beer of the day!
PF, it was a lager top and my first beer of the day!
That is exactly what happened Ron Pillock, not bothered if you believe me or not but that is precisely what happened.
Not working for me. Maybe because I'm drinking White Lightening out of a can and my dog's on a piece of string.
This has to end in tears slippy, the new lady is bound to want the dog put to sleep next !
Nobody is putting my doggy to sleep! She loves him.
You met her 2 months ago and are getting married Slippy ?
Sounds like someones visa is about to expire.
Sounds like someones visa is about to expire.
There's a few good international web sites where you can arrange to meet that special lady for marriage or companionship.
Just be careful to inspect the photo's carefully. I feel into that trap, although I have to say I've never watched so much footie, the garden has never looked so good and there's always someone to put the bins out.
Just be careful to inspect the photo's carefully. I feel into that trap, although I have to say I've never watched so much footie, the garden has never looked so good and there's always someone to put the bins out.
The sound of pitter patter feet seems inevitable
Sounds like someones visa is about to expire.Silly...
Lovely story, Slippy, but why on earth are you getting married? Can't see the logic given your past experience. Is she loaded or something?
Try getting a professional photographer to take a few pics and put them up on a dating site,it's the way forward imho.
what are you going to say to people in years to come including your kids "how did you two meet"..."we met through a computer"....never mind dating sites, the best way is the natural way, join classes, the gym, volunteer, but don't meet people though your laptop it's a bit soulless imo. It's all well and chatting away on forums between trades but I wouldn't fancy meeting up with some of the wack jobs on here for a drink
I knew the future Mrs Blue 25 years ago, she was a barmaid in my local, nothing happened back then but I had a partner then and and she just came up to me and said you are Jason aren't you? We have hardly spent a minute apart since then. I just can't believe what has happened since then. Lost my Dad, got divorced, lost my Mum this year, things were not going well. I was drinking heavily, gambling heavily every day but now I have a wonderful joie de vivre back in my world which I had pretty much given up on ever happening again.
Yes ImSoLucky, we are trying for a baby!
Yes ImSoLucky, we are trying for a baby!
Bit of good news acey deucy that I wanted to share with chit chat! So much bad news about, funerals, family ill health you know, the usual bad stuff we all have to deal with. Now we are planning on getting a B and B on the Sussex coast to spend the rest of our life together running a business. 
Me doing all the cooking, Mrs. Blue being front of house
Me doing all the cooking, Mrs. Blue being front of house
She is absolutely loaded Oz,I'm not short of a few shekels either but that's totally irrelevant. I'm not impressed by wealth, I'm not a greedy man, I have always been OK in that department anyway. Just head over heels in love, I wouldn't care if she lived in a tree house! Everyone is really happy for us both that after 25 years in what was a million to one encounter we found each other again.
What a story!
Brilliant stuff, Slippy.
Good luck to you!
Brilliant stuff, Slippy.
Good luck to you!
Brilliant stuff Slippy!
Hope it all works out tickety-boo for you.
Hope it all works out tickety-boo for you.
The point about her being loaded relates to your previous experience with marriage when you were cleaned out, not suggesting that you would find wealth attractive per se.
If you are the relative pauper in the relationship, then presumably the same cannot happen again.
How did she accumulate her wealth? Divorce?
If you are the relative pauper in the relationship, then presumably the same cannot happen again.
How did she accumulate her wealth? Divorce?
This is terrible. A poor soul asks for dating advice and instead gets slippy gloating
The least slippy could do is pass on the details of his ex wife to the OP. While she may be a hideous money grabber, she does at least have a lovely house.
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