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Chit Chat
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As Chit Chat is inhabited by the true sharp minds of Betfair, no-one needs reminding that in his Inferno, Dante is guided by Virgil through the nine circles of hell before arriving at the centre where the devil himself resides.
In order to ensure passage to heaven for all of us, I am prepared to undertake my own TV purgatory;
Circle 9 - Dickinsons Real Deal
Eased in gently by some orange buffoon trying to get members of the public to flog their stuff to a dodgy "expert".
Circle 8 - The Jeremy Kyle Show
Human badger baiting where the only criteria to appear is that you have been beaten to death with the ugly stick.
Circle 7 - Russell Howards Good News / The Sarah Millican Show
A double header of pain featuring two of Chit Chats favourites.
Circle 6 - The XFactor / Britains Got Talent / The Voice
Playing in a three screen simulcast, the agony is steadily growing...
Circle 5 - Lee Evans Live
Sadly he still is
Circle 4 - Last of the Summer Wine marathon
Apparently you can get about a thousand episodes out of two jokes about crinkled stockings and being pushed down a hill in a shopping trolley.
Circle 3 - Flockstars
We have reached semi final stage and tonights episode features geese as well as sheep. Not sure how much more I can take.
Circle 2 - Celebrity Big Brother Live Launch
Circle 1 - Skinny Brides to Fat Wives
"This brand new documentary meets four women who have piled on the pounds after walking down the aisle seeing how it affects them and their relationships."
Trust me I am not making this up.
Finally we arrive at true evil...
IMPRACTICAL JOKERS on "Comedy" Central
Take the four most annoying tw@ts you can find, get one of them to do something really amusing such as squirting cream onto the handle of an unsuspecting member of the publics shopping trolley, then film the reaction of the three remaining idiots whilst they wet themselves.
They have made five series of this.
I am sure worse crimes have been committed by TV commissioning editors - but all the above can be seen on one channel or another over the next 72 hours. £60 a month to Sky...
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."
In order to ensure passage to heaven for all of us, I am prepared to undertake my own TV purgatory;
Circle 9 - Dickinsons Real Deal
Eased in gently by some orange buffoon trying to get members of the public to flog their stuff to a dodgy "expert".
Circle 8 - The Jeremy Kyle Show
Human badger baiting where the only criteria to appear is that you have been beaten to death with the ugly stick.
Circle 7 - Russell Howards Good News / The Sarah Millican Show
A double header of pain featuring two of Chit Chats favourites.
Circle 6 - The XFactor / Britains Got Talent / The Voice
Playing in a three screen simulcast, the agony is steadily growing...
Circle 5 - Lee Evans Live
Sadly he still is
Circle 4 - Last of the Summer Wine marathon
Apparently you can get about a thousand episodes out of two jokes about crinkled stockings and being pushed down a hill in a shopping trolley.
Circle 3 - Flockstars
We have reached semi final stage and tonights episode features geese as well as sheep. Not sure how much more I can take.
Circle 2 - Celebrity Big Brother Live Launch
Circle 1 - Skinny Brides to Fat Wives
"This brand new documentary meets four women who have piled on the pounds after walking down the aisle seeing how it affects them and their relationships."
Trust me I am not making this up.
Finally we arrive at true evil...
IMPRACTICAL JOKERS on "Comedy" Central
Take the four most annoying tw@ts you can find, get one of them to do something really amusing such as squirting cream onto the handle of an unsuspecting member of the publics shopping trolley, then film the reaction of the three remaining idiots whilst they wet themselves.
They have made five series of this.
I am sure worse crimes have been committed by TV commissioning editors - but all the above can be seen on one channel or another over the next 72 hours. £60 a month to Sky...
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."
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You've gotten David Dickenson all wrong in your interpretation
But I, who'd seen the change in his complexion, said: "How shall I go on if you are frightened, you who have always helped dispel my doubts?" And he to me: "The anguish of the people whose place is here below, has touched my face with the compassion you mistake for fear. |