What's your favourite one liner or phrase of all time ?

Never generalise from a sample of one.

Un, Deux, trois, quatre
Don't worry it's Barratts

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

(1)Minds are like parachutes,they work best when they are open
(2)The buck stops here.

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

This above all to thine own self be true.


A mantra followed by so many on the HR forum.

'My dear you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly'

everything i say is a lie

here's another put down - LBJ of Gerald Ford (I think) "He can't walk straight and chew gum at the same time".

I've always loved the phrase "there's one born every minute."

OP , Diff-rent is a new poster from April 2015....275 posts

Does that mean they are letting new people join the forum?

well spotted Leopard

(geddit?)

no

I don't know why but I've always liked "In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king"

which reminds me of "like a one legged man at an arse kicking contest"

there's many a slip between cup and lip.

variation of don't count your chickens...

"Is it because once you get them started they don't shut up?"

"Go and take yer face for a shít"

REarranging the deckchairs on the titanic.

Sir Les Patterson : "I've been busier than a one-armed taxi driver with crab$"   always merited repetition.

Sweating like a fat lass in Greggs

Sweating like a Scouser in a job interview

'you've got as much chance of taking a test wicket on this tour as I have of pushing a pound of butter up a parrot's arse with a hot needle

"this beer's as flat as a kipper's c u nt"

HRH The Duke Of Edinburgh

sweatier than a glass blower's arse

Ha ha good work Sultan, this thread proper escalating now.

Tuffers had a hard time of it for the Ashes tour 1990-91.  Aussie fans really had it in for him, one sign in the crowd said "Lend us your brain Tuffers, we're building an idiot".  For all their lack of class they do still have a cracking sense of humour these aussies.

Great stuff Sultan.

"Don't worry, it's not loaded."

Terry Kath

yes rob the Aussies have many great sayings. I love "Up to me arse hole in alligators" - which means being in over ones head.

"Don't come the raw prawn with me"

'that Sheila's got a face like a dropped pie'

Another from HRH which I like very much.

"It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs."

and "Funnier than a rubber crutch."

from a colleague to describe our lowly position in the organisation
"We're only in the arse of the garden"

**** Off and Die

A favourite of mine, direct, to the point and leaves no room for ambiguity.

From Smokey & The Bandit - Sheriff Buford T. Justice to his dim son:

'There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth'

My old retired workmate, now nearly 70 always said 'She needs putting to the bull'

Phrase....

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure. ”

Mark Twain.


...and applies to so so many.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating peoples' intelligence.

The people have spoken. The baastards. (Deposed American State Governor).

Never give a sucker an even break.

There's only two things in here that they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you. (Cool Hand Luke)

'He's a shiver looking for a spine to run up'

Nothing exceeds like excess

'Best part of you came out the crack of your moma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress'

'You were a waste of a wank lad'

'Your father should have rolled over'

'Looks about as good as John merricks arse'

YOUR DAD WS A BL@CK MUZZY IMMIGRANT

been called " a waste of a pair of overalls " on several occasions !!  ( shipyard banter ).   

She's got a f@nny like a stamped bat

Grinning like a w@nk1ng J@p

Quivering like a sh1tt1ng dog

....and if you're selling those puppies, I'll have the one with the red nose

A curry that left my @rse looking like the flag of Japan

Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever".

anon.

do the books,do the books(you had to be there really)

You can’t convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it’s based on a deep seated need to believe.

Misatributed to Carl Sagan but I associate him with it.

I couldn't be less interested

FlowerMyth
31 Jul 15 23:46

Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.




I come from Montana, a place so flat you can look into the distance and see the back of your own head

"Got a face like a bucket of smashed crabs"
"I didn't know whether to fk it or fight it"

Couple of my own there...:)

She's got a fanny like Humpty Dumpty's polo neck.

You look worse than Quasimodo after a run up the tower stairs.

Muhammad Ali , "It's hard to be humble when you are as great as I am."

A good friend of mine said this in our year 11 Geography class. It's always stayed with me for some reason.

"Life's a gamble. Then you die."

It's deja vu all over again....

'If you've got f00k all to say, say f00k all.'
'A fanny like a wizards sleeve.'
'A face like a robbers dog'
'A face that would stop a clock'
An ar*se like a Japanese flag.
An ar*se like the map of Bonanza.

"I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is 6 to 5 against." Damon Runyon

Women should be obscene and not heard- Groucho Marx

Women should be obscene and not heard- Groucho Marx