Birth of your child.

Take the wife with you to St. Andrews.... kid will be eligible to play for the sweaties if not good enough for England.

That has been discussed Clouseau, and she has even researched the hospitals in the Fife area, and as it happens  we were married up in Scotland so it would have an added element if the birth was there. However she has decided against it as her mother is now travelling up, but the guilty mind games are being played if i go and she has the baby(girl)

1 attendance out of 3 is not bad.

JUST TELL HER TO HOLD ON

Very good Diddy.
Yes Kenny, and when did it become compulsory(in the eyes of the mother to be) for the father(of expected child) to be at the birth? is it a modern thing? My own father worked away and was not at any of 4 births. No complaints from mother, but i thought it was tradition for the fathers to be down the pub during the birth back in the day, no?

It was a traditional thing in the 50s for men not to attend, plus the women didn't like the husband to see them "in that way". Men couldn't cope with it anyway, so didn't go.Things gradually changed from the 60s. Now it's men having maternity leave as well. lol I never attended the birth of my 2. Send some flowers but definitely go to the golf. Good luck.

What would a real man do?

a real man would come to a mutual agreement with his wife as no one else will know the condition/boundaries of their relationship

as you were not there at the conception i don't see that she can get the hump if you miss the birth

That will save me many thousands of pounds elise, you have cheered me up!
Cheers Kenny, this will be the last child(no snip however) so i am a bit torn, hopefully she will be born slightly early and a compromise is born(ptp)

Mutual agreements are not necessarily in black and white B-B, still many possibilities to ponder. The golf is just on the due date and only for two nights away. I need to play the odds.

You already know the answer Gabrial. Hope all goes well.

The last born was early Paddy so we kind of believe this one will also be early Paddy, but you are right if we are wrong, if that makes sense.

Cheers anyway.

Secondary in relative terms but I personally think a big golf tournament makes a very bad sport to watch live. If your bringing children with you the practise pro/am days of a golf tournament make for a far better day out. Its far more relaxed, you see more and if ask nicely the players will have the time to stop for an autograph for the kids. Bill Murray plays in a lot of the pro ams and he is great value to watch joke with the crowd. Nice even to sit for an hour on the practise putting green to watch them chip and put.

hope all goes well, nice healthy baby etc, all the best

Cheers elise.

Not taking the other kids Paddy, just my brother and a pal. I`m not sure if you can put me off going to Open, prepared for the hustle and bustle.

why not just wait till it happens and then jump on a flight as soon as the all clear sounds ? ,a fecked off to the footy (c/l night) ,left the mrs in recovery after a Ceserian ,TBH she knew a was desperate to go but a played it like a was not bothered
a had no intention of missing the game it all just fell right ,tbh after her waters broke they were just going to wait and let things happen ,a went for a smoke ,came back in and it was all ,right lets go ,chip chop and before a knew it some butch matron was ordering me to "sit down there and shut up" "we dont want fainting daddies in here " a told her to stfu ,pretty gruesome tbh but was all over quickly ,another smoke and a popped into recovery and said am staying right here beside you dear ,she just said ...mon the gers and told me to get to the match ,tbh she was still out her tree ...thats when to ask to shoot away ,once she is on the laughing gas

Whats the plan Gabriel. Get yourself a spot on a bank overlooking a par 5 with a view of another hole or are you going to follow a few different groups round for a few holes each.

Still not sure Paddy, if it was me on my own i would be following a couple of groups. We may even split up to meet up later. One of them may want to plant themselves in a Grandstand 20,000 seats available. I will want to be on course early. I would like to get close enough up to hear the swoosh of Rory`s swing. I will need my elbows though.

I still have nightmares from when I went round the business end during the birth and had never seen something expand so much, since I got a radio one road show sponge in the early 80s

stretches a mile before it rips an inch

I asked them to put a couple of extra stitches in when it happened to the wife, it didn't go down too well with the staff

who's going to caddy for you ?

There was a problem with the delivery of the placenta when i was there.
The junior midwife was given the job of nippng the blood flow and she snipped through it and the blood exploded all over her face, as she was so close up it went in her mouth up her nose and then shot on to my jeans and shirt.
It was like the opening scene from Saving Private Ryan. I wasn`t expecting that!

A asked them to put stitches in after the mrs had a Cesarean

Sod the golf A.G. Be there for your new arrival. Very best to you and the missus and hope everything goes smoothly for you both.

5/2 you name her Charlotte available @ bluesports.com ! (£50 max per customer)

I may still be able to do both Slippy but much appreciated.

Btw the first letter of the name is correct(money back guarantee)

Burton-Brewers   
"I asked them to put a couple of extra stitches in when it happened to the wife, it didn't go down too well with the staff"

Well said B.B.
Your the one who has to go back "Their"

Skype, NAP

Baby arrived this morning.
Of course i did the right thing

Congratulations.

nice one AG

congratulations


I saw my first 3 born, but missed the last as I was in hospital canteen having a bacon sarnie

I went to the pub, you didn't watch 'em give birth back then, thank goodness.

I had just started watching racing when the phone rang for my first one.

My mother-in law told me the wife was in labour.  The hospital was about a 5 minute walk away, so I watched the next race then walked round there. She wasn't even in labour, which the mother-in law thought was extremely funny, so I went back home.

About 20 minutes later she phoned and said the same. I walked round there again, it was another joke call by silly minge, so I went back home again.

About an hour later she tried it on again, so I ignored her, and strolled round when the footie scores came on.

That time she was telling the truth, and I got abuse for not being there.

Apparently it was painful as he was born breech, and I got called every name under the sun, as if it was my facking fault.

your mother in law sounds like a right stupid cant

Congratulations on the birth of your little Angel. A special well done to mum.

p_r_e_m_i_e_r__f_a_n_t_a_s_y's blog
your mother in law sounds like a right stupid cant

She was, and that was wife no.1's mother.

Both dead

Thanks paddy.

Having any more AG?

No more s&gc, that`s number 3 now.
No snip though, no effing way.

Best not to snip.

In sad cases, if marriages fail, the woman keeps the children and doesn't want any more.

If the man wants more, he's had it.

An Irish pal of mine had the snip in his late 20`s. He started his family early, 4 by the time he was 28. Yes, you can guess what happened. He started an affair with the nanny, marriage broke up and the nanny wanted kids with him. So he had the `reversal` operation. It worked but he jokes there is nothing down there but skin tissue after both ops.

The snip is for blokes that haven`t perfected the withdrawal technique!

Attended Both ,Both were breach .Were some scarey moments with my 2nd daughter

Many congratulations Mr & Mrs AG.

I can't fail to remember a joke from Bigmos joke thread though.

I was at my boy's birth.
It wasn't a miracle, it was disgusting ... like watching a wet St. Bernard squeezing itself through a cat-flap.

Thanks chaps, the baby had gotten herself into a tricky position so extra help was called for but they managed to manipulate her into the proper position.

It wasn't a miracle, it was disgusting ... like watching a wet St. Bernard squeezing itself through a cat-flap.

when I ventured to the bottom of the bed for a look it reminded me of a baboons bottom all swollen and vile looking