I'm looking for an unscrupulous builder in the West Midlands

U need a "Propper Charlie"

Do hitmen give receipts?

The man you're after is called Pat Phelan.

but keep ur eye on the missus

Sorry for not replying earlier.
Is there really a Pat Phelan?  if so how do I contact him?
Not to worried about keeping an eye on the missus - she's been dead for a while.

That would not stop Pat.

Can't you return to Alpha Centauri and get one for me?

Mickey pearce

Tic
I am serious about this. Is this a real person?

I've been here for a long while and never tried to do PMs. Do they exist even?

Aliens? Yes we do.

you are trying to defraud the tax man and your advertising on a public forum?

and betfair have all your details.

and you wonder why people aren't taking the thread seriously

What work do you need doing?

You could always get the work done and write your own invoice out, they're not worth the paper they're written on imo.

Three external doors replacing with uPVC, plastering - two rooms, floor levelling (very small room). Glass veranda roof 6 metres by 3 removed and replaced with board and felt.  A slightly tricky internal door and window replacement. Two rooms skirting board replaced.
Neighbour killed but that's an add on.

Beer supplied for free during work!

And all for £5k. Are you Scottish?

I know a bloke from Derby who'd write you out an inflated invoice, but I wouldn't trust him to do the work you need doing.

Not Scottish. 
Doors  £1500. Plastering and floor £1000. Roof been quoted £750. Indoor windows stuff £1000. Skirting board, not sure, but say £500.

.
http://9gag.com/gag/60032/black-bastard-builders

don't think Phelan be interested unless abit o totty involved

maleuk01.     06 Jun 15 20:14 
you are trying to defraud the tax man and your advertising on a public forum?

and betfair have all your details.

and you wonder why people aren't taking the thread seriously





What's your response Charlie boy ?

im guessing something along the lines of...

"fk off facts and mind your own you cn ut"

Pistarr

He obviously wouldn't think that laddy, else why raise an attention seeking thread about the matter in the first place.
Look around you ,there must be a little bit of intelligence lying around in your pit.

Well Facts boy.

There are many reasons why I could have started this thread.
I may be looking for a builder.
I may be working for the Inland Revenue looking for a haul.
I may be gathering people's opinions regarding my post.
There are numerous other reasons why I could have started this thread.

You seemed to have formed your opinion without any real facts. Fact! And you have the temerity to question someone else's intelligence.

Patrick seems to have responded to you appropriately laddy.

Why don't you just print off your own receipt?
Very little chance of it being checked but if it is so what?
You protest your own innocence and blame cowboy builders.

Dead right. ^^^

God knows how many invoices I've written out to people where I've lost the duplicate.

Ok. Thanks gents. Thread closed.

My bill for advice will be in the post, how much do you want it made out for?

Obviously twice as much as it was worth

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