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Chit Chat
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I would like to change homes under the hammer to ba5tards under the hammer,change format to hitting these ba5tards with a hammer
bargain hunt to ba5tard hunt,programme change play hide and seek find em and batter them with an antique
homes in the sun to ba5tards in the sun.......go abroad somewhere warm find some ba5tards and make them choke on overpriced home estate agent literature........then lump hammer and drowning.
Do you have any programmes you would like to change in a similar format to mine:)
bargain hunt to ba5tard hunt,programme change play hide and seek find em and batter them with an antique
homes in the sun to ba5tards in the sun.......go abroad somewhere warm find some ba5tards and make them choke on overpriced home estate agent literature........then lump hammer and drowning.
Do you have any programmes you would like to change in a similar format to mine:)
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I changed the name of Channel 4 on our old telly to read 'HER CRAP'
Mrs SAGC wasn't amused.  |
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Ba5tard Factor
Ba5tards Got No Talent Ba5tards Get Me Out Of Here |
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Strictly Bastards Dancing
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Deal or no Deal to B@stard or no B@stard, contestants have to guest which box contains the severed head of Noel Edmonds the winner gets some money.
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I'd change 'The 10 O'clock News' to 'ROBERT PESTON MUST DIE!!!!!!'
...and have the soppy s0d dangle from the end of one of his over-long pi55ant ties for all-eternity. Or better still, make the cnt listen to five minutes of his own gopping, overmannered presentations. |
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Nicholas witchell is a bastard fawning sycophantic bastard sh1t..
Not suggesting that should be the new name of a show, just saying that's all. |
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Witchell is turning into Steve Davis
 . https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7176/6850841101_b2c5dc0ab4_b.jpg |
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Fred of the week
a very pleasing one at that. |
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CSI to quincy
person of interest to the equalizer NCIS to the mod squad. |
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Bastardwatch
monthly BBC programme attempting to identify all the bastards who hide their posting activity on Betfair Chit Chat forum |
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Some very good replies and pleasing to see I am not the only one who is angry with some ba5tards:)
Roger and Robs most excellent I feel like adding newspaper review (sky news 10.30) my obvious title is ba5tard review,*wat1 the poncy tory puff like thing and *wat ba5tard 2 social lefty knob........just when the camera pans onto them smack them in the face with a big wet fish whilst screaming with all the muster my lungs can bbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaa55555555555555555tttttttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddddddssssssssss then doing a Mortal Kombat x sub zero fatality on them screaming ba5tards:) That would liven it up somewhat |
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Dave
Would "strictly come ba5tards" work better? Want to get the right title for the producers and also how do you see the format of the show changing? head severing of the dancing ba5tards first?the judges?Bruce(is he still on?) |
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Deal or no Deal to B@stard or no B@stard, contestants have to guest which box contains the severed head of Noel Edmonds the winner gets some money.
do we get to see the severing and the pleading before hand?? I feel this would add some gravitas to the proceedings:)? |
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Bastards Come Dancing
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@DMFS
Like it keep the format or what would you change? |
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it is what it is already
Come Dine With Bastards |
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pointless bástárds
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1 Kg of your best fishwicks please Dave.
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do we get to see the severing and the pleading before hand??
Yes but this would just be for one episode, B@stard or no B@stard would run for a total of 1 series. Choosing the right box would become easier as the weeks went by with clues like flies and maggots on the box and a distinct aroma in the air. |
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An excellent thread!
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David............
You are proving to be a top top TOP talent at this,take a bow Sir..... Come dine with Ba5tards............were do I even start???? ok I would start with the celebrity bastards and in particular I saw one that had Goldie in it,batter them all with a frying pan.......... How about 3in a ba5tard? they all want Ba5tarding! |
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Big B@stard Brother, with instead of eviction, housemates are shot
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I'm a bastard get me out of here, each bastard should be thrown off the facken rope bridge when voted out.
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My Ba$tard Family
Where Robert Lindsey and Zoe Wannemaker overact in a bunch of contrived, middle-class, faux (non) issues until the audience, sick of watching the comedy equivalent of 'beige', rush the set, hurling frag grenades hither, thither and yon (particularly 'yon'). |
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I'm with you roger, definitely yon.
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see your yon and raise it to a yonder:)
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The Bastard Graham Norton Show
Because nobody will own up to being his parents. |
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he is very VERY ba5tardy.............
who's first though him or fu**ing ba5tard Alan Carr???? i'd show him who's fu**ing chatty..........with a bat |
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Thread of the month
Mrs Brown's Ba5tards. Irish ba5tard pantomime with cr@p jokes and ba5tard swearing. |
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Doctor Who Ba5tards.
The ba5tards of who, from the World horrible office, run riot flying to various destinations in their time machine named, the ba5tardis. |
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**A rather quirky and pleasing little fact which made me laugh in thinking of this thread was just shown on the screen accompanying a TOTP performance by Motorhead in 1980 sing 'Ace Of Spades': Lemmy wanted to name the band 'Ba5tard'!**
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*singing
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Tommy.
The band were (nice) ba5tards though so would have been somewhat fitting:) Off topic,agree on the fruit polo's will buy some on my next Hanley visit,was there yesterday but forgot! Back on Topic,have been giving it some thought and I like the potential change to "Birdwatch" Ba5tard watch..........my idea is to take Bill Oddy,shove him up Strachens back door head first then beat them both mercilessly with binoculars screaming "ba5stards" to top it of I would like a choir in shot singing "one Ba5tard next to another ba5tard" Game of thrones stylee....... |