Top Gear new team

Zayn Malik quitting one direction the same day Clarkson is sacked is no conincidence!

They need to replace a loudmouth tw@t. Katie Hopkins more suitable than Katie Price, shirley.

BBC quotas will require the 3 new presenters to be made up of a friend of Dorothy, a baggage handler and a Greville.

Clary, Balding and Abbott perhaps?

They will most likely turn it into a nice safe version of 'Fifth Gear'
though they might keep The Stig.

Alex 

the bugatti veyron 0-60 in that typical veyron time of  2.5 seconds -  yes!!

Just bring in Guy Martin

It will just be a generic motor show if the names being mentioned  get it

I like that suggestion, Zazu. They could include a bit of coverage for the 'bikers as well. Plus Guy is just plain likeable!

Got to be a Footballers Wife.....................someone thats usted to the motors.............

Surely the new-look 'Top Gear' has to be more inclusive, and bring in someone with expertise on vehicles for individuals suffering from a disability?

Oisin Tymon, Jo Brand, and Andi Peters

thats sorted then, Katie Hopkins, Guy Martin and Nick Hamilton it is!

I want to see some young female with almost nothing on, spread over an old gpz1100   - my last road bike.  Would that be a bike on a bike!!??

Of course that may be sexist, but in my day it was considered good luck!!!

At a time like this, the BBC can't take the risk of giving a man's job to a boy. The "Top Gear" brand is a big earner for the corporation, and they can't take chances with the succession. This is the time to appoint tried and tested Leaders of Men. The BBC must appoint PROVEN achievers, TRUSTED by all the viewers to deliver the goods.

I therefore make no apologies for nominating broadcasting heavyweights like :

John Gwynne (the tough guy of Sky Darts, he could easily do the car reviews AND with a funny high pitched voice while driving, thus the perfect substitute for Clarkson)

Dicky Bird (accepted by all as an honest judge with a sound track record, representing the North)

Jack Parnell (was once jailed for crashing into another road user while drunk), so could give invaluable advice on what NOT to do in a car), or alternatively Jack Douglas who could bring his crazy Alf Ippititimuss character into the car with all sorts of comedic possibilities. 

Rolf Harris (MISTER Television)  -  Will need permission from the Home Office for Day Release, but that's just surely a technicality.

I also see this as the perfect opportunity to relaunch the very popular Black and White Minstrels, who could do a weekly singing spot about cars, maybe starting with the Gary Numan classic "Cars" . The Minstrels used to have a loyal and sophisticated audience of 16 million viewers a week, and that was BEFORE the immigrants took over the country.  Nowadays in Compulsory Diversity Britain they'd easily get 46 million viewers a week, figures which any TV station would kill for.

Make no mistake folks, with this kind of innovative thinking, TOP GEAR is going to come back bigger and better. It might even scale the heights of '3-2-1 With Dusty Bin and Ted Rogers".

You heard it here first.

Nailed on for Chris Evans, they daren't risk losing a lot of the core viewers and he has a motoring column and can carry on the role of a larger than life laddo,just a bit younger. If the other two walk,we can see the introduction of at least one woman ( or should it be female,lady or non male-not sure of the current fashionable term for a split@rse in BBC life) and one ethnic minority plus a disabled guest presenter.

james may has described clarksons sacking as a 'tragedy ' , wonder how he describes yesterdays alpine plane crash ?

i find all these serious posts very funny! the only 'serious' option the bbc has is to put it on the shelf for a few years. Anyone trying to follow up an institution like Clarkson/May/Hammond is on a hiding to nothing. Its akin to Moyes and Ferguson, who's take the job??

If the BBC put it onthe shelf they can kiss it goodbye for ever after Murdoch funds the current team of BBC outcasts to do the show on SKY and sell it across the world. Apparently he has tweeted how stupid he thinks the BBC are to contemplate removing a proven winner like Clarkson from the show so watch this space.....

Vladimir Putin has to be in the running

Will people get his heavy Mockba accent?

They will go for like-for-like replacements for Hammond, May and Clarkson.

Rishi Persad, David Attenborough and the Duke of Edinburgh

Willie Carson, Julian Clary and Maureen from Driving school for me.

only one man for the job,martin fitzmaurice







LETS DRIVE CARS

Excellent, Alun wins the monthly Dave Lee Travis prize for most thorough reply on a UK gambling forum, well done sir.

yentob on newsnight, walofs fawning over racist petty thug

Had his wrist tag on in case he should forget which side he's on.

Does anyone bother watching Newsnight now Brendan ?

The disabled basketball chap might be a good choice
then there is Clare Balding!!

james herries or whatever she's called now

David Beckham
Dot Cotton
Lee Evans

Sica Dan    26 Mar 15 02:13 
The disabled basketball chap might be a good choice
then there is Clare Balding!!

and Adrian Chiles.

"Maureen from Driving school"
Excellent

Got to be somebody who's controversial, but well loved, like Jimmy Savile was.

Somebody who'll sell the show world-wide and showcase British talent.

Got it ... Prince Andrew (already big in the US).

Some cocky english unt
Token etnic
Chav type

Russell Brand

Clare Balding

Chris Evans

Diane Abbott in a Mini-Cooper with faulty brakes.

Graham Norton in a Ka with faulty brakes. 

Nick Griffin in a Chieftain tank, with ammo and good brakes.

All on the top of the cliffs above Beachy Head.

Winner plays again the following week.

No disagreements - excellent.

Wheelchair, gay, woman, ethnic

Perm any three from four above

ginger, blonde, brunette, blue eyed, brown eyed, cross eyed.

Is that the order you'd do Girls Aloud?

No.

The Tiller girls.