JOSEY WALES & THE OUTLAWS AT CHELTENHAM

GAME OVER

A message from Squeeze

As some of you already know, an ongoing medical condition that the NHS have been unable to resolve, has forced me stop driving, let alone stand for up to 6 hours for 4 consecutive days. 

So I never went to the Festival this year, and there will be no blog.

Whoever posts ‘Thank fack for that!’ will be REPORTED.

Sixtwosix said a few weeks ago  ’Fack ’em, fire up the Jag.’… but that won’t work. I did that last March (against doctors orders)

This year, my wife found out what the doctor said last year, and that’s the end of it.

My car has been parked on the drive since March last year except for two instances, once to go for it’s M.O.T. in August, where my mechanic took it for me,  and the other was when we were intending to go to Colchester to see our grandchildren.  I got as far as West Winch on the A10, about 12 miles away,  then had to turn around and drive home as there was no chance of getting there in one piece given the speeds I usually drive at, and how rough I felt.  And driving at 30, it would take all fackin’ day. 

I had tremendous fun at Cheltenham, The Outlaws are a great bunch at work, and at play.

I’ll miss calling Wee Richie at least 6 times before 8-00 am,  his polishing boots routine, Arthur’s tales of bookmaking frivolity at dinner,  Katie’s outfits, Michelle the south African, doing her best to understand my gravel voiced cockney accent, Josey’s eldest daughter Lizzie tearing up forged twenties in front of punters, Julie (now Lady Winterburn of ‘arrergit)  who has got ’loved up’ since last year and is now engaged for marry-arge,  the quietly spoken Ann (Mrs Wales) who arrives on Thursday evenings, and himself, Josey Wales.

Honourable mentions to Studyform, the fastest bet taker in the west, Johnny Sloane, the Ladbrokes man, and Josey’s other daughters, Jenny, who is now a teacher, and Rebecca, who is now southern area middleweight champion, when she’s not teaching.   

This would have been my 8th year with The Firm, and the longest I worked for anybody else full time has been 6 years, so you can see I wasn’t bored.  (My 30+ year career for one bookie had a few ‘absences’ in it.)

Other news
Webuyanycar.com are a bunch of thieves
I WAS sending off a letter to Jeremy Clarkson, to see if they want to put a ‘star in my reasonably priced car’ on their track, and what the BBC want to shell out for it.   So if the programme gets back on air,  and you ever see an old dark purple 4 litre Jaguar being driven by celebrities on Top Gear, it was probably mine.  It looks dark purple, but the log book says ‘Moroccan Red‘ which sounds like a type of cannabis to me. 

Anyway, take it from me, if you’ve never been to the Festival, save up your money and head there at least once in your life. 

The traffic is diabolical, the food, drinks and hotels are expensive,  but win or lose,  I can assure you that the atmosphere is ’electric’ from the minute you get there.

Along the way I met Paddy Hair and Fenway, who are two fine upstanding gentleman, much like myself…there were others there, but they didn’t know where we were pitched, or didn’t want to come and say ‘hello’ for some reason. 

Thank you for any comments.

Bodil…we’ll always have Paris, you bastard.

Would I have kept going for years to come if I was able? 

In the immortal words of Josey Wales - ‘I reckon so…’

I loathe you all…









Btw, it’s Josey Wales birthday today.