Supermarket etiquette

I agree with Nick

I agree with Crisp77 agreeing with Nick.

Wouldn't the person at the back of the queue have waited longest if the new till wasn't opened? So in as they were prepared to wait longer then they think that person should be front of the queue on a new checkout

It's survival of the fittest ... where first is fed and second goes hungry, where wild horses roam untamed, and white men fear to tread - it really is a jungle out there.

I always shop at Waitrose as their customers are more genteel - wouldn't dare do it in Aldi at Reddith.  Might cost a bit more at Waitrose, but I've still got all my ears.

I love M&S's new Jump to Front of Queue Ticket (£5)

...just to see the faces of back-trackees

I hate it when this happens. It usually means I have to sling my shopping onto the conveyor belt.

I like time to load it in an orderly fashion. I sometimes decline to move. I would rather wait than be hurried.

I  bet good money the op googled the word eteket

From my experience in supermarkets there is just one group of people that do not understand the basic rules of manners and etiquette.  They are called Women.

Particularly the fat pig ones.  Particularly the ones with children.  They live on another planet.  Always leave their trolley perpendicular to the aisle then get their fat @rse to block out the one small gaps to the side of the trolley then look at you like you've just sh1t on their kids when you have the temerity to say "excuse me please".

Sometimes you are going down an aisle with a trolley and like a normal, polite human being you have a look up ahead, plan your route and that.  Sometimes you see a bloke up ahead coming toward you doing the same thing and with a little nod of the head one or other of you manages to sort out a right of way without any words having to be exchanged.  This is England.  This is manners.  This is what we fought two world wars for.  Then some fat benefits coont who should have been sterilised after the second kid just jumps in the gap, parks her trolley and starts filling it up with cheese straws or 24 packs of chocolate mousse or 50% fat beef mince or whatever godforsaken muck these people eat.

Rob - the nicotine withdrawal symptoms haven't alleviated yet?

It's a ruddy battlezone out there and no mistake and with more etiquette-fail options than in the court of The Sun King.

First off as our friend here has said, there's trolley parking issue

Next there's the amount of time you should reasonably be allowed to spend blocking other shoppers views of the goods whilst you rummage around for what you're seeking.

The checkout itself is a sub-genre all of it's own. How long is it acceptable to f@rt about cashing innumerable vouchers, searching for your clubcard, searching for your debit card, chatting with the checkout droog whilst your goods remain resolutely unpacked? In my world? FIVE SECONDS before you get impaled on a grissini stick!

Then there's the little game you play with checkout droog who attempts to fire down articles quicker than you are able to pack them and so gain a moment of smug triumph to relieve the meaninglessness of their otherwise tedious existence.

Thankfully, with the advent of Aldi and their 'get 'em in, flog it cheap, get 'em out' approach to the customer experience much of the above is now rendered meaningless and for the  smart, svelte, 'in control' shooing bloke,  you're frankly sleeping on the job if you're not out of there , weeks shopping in your boot, inside 20 minutes.

Another thing that annoys me are the mothers (and it is always women ime) that put their kids in the trolley itself

Top stuff roger.  I've got my packing absolutely nailed.  Never have to use any of their plastic bags, no way checkout girl can scan it quicker than I can pack it.  scan your own clubcard and do the old debit card jobby as quick as paying by cash job's a goodun.

10 weeks now nick and barely ever think about smoking.  I am a non-smoker.  Although women in supermarkets do test my resillience.

Congratulations, Rob.

Tesco "Click & Collect" is the way forward, imo.

It's free, Mrs mememe sets up collection time a few days ahead and then, quite nonchalantly, it seems, adds stuff to her on-line basket during the next few days.

And when the appointed time arrives, (occasionally when the racing is crap) I drive with her to Tesco  and sit smugly in my car as the click & collect wallah loads the stuff in the car (all the stuff has already been picked and packed by some octogenarian drone in the middle of the night).

I never need to go in the shop, it's a free service, and I never see those unpleasant fat women in leggings with their unhealthy children.

Anyone noticed how old ladies slyly govern the flow of customers thru the aisles? Imo its a worldwide conspiracy that old dears go out in pairs and stand motionless obstructing all of the worst bottlenecks.To guarantee its impossible to squeeze by them they craftily link arms.I wish i knew what they are up to.

havn`t been in a supermarket in years, men should be banned from the places.

hector

The old dears also used to stand at the bottom of the up escalator in the local John Lewis store and looked lost/hold conversations, thereby making it very difficult for non-confused people to step on to the escalator.  John L management then put a minder on duty to keep them away.

So they moved to the John L lifts and press every floor button, thereby causing the lift to stop at every floor, but stay on because the lift is going up and they want to go down.

And when you come to exit the car park (pre-pay at machine before going to car), they've forgotten to pre-pay, thereby causing almighty confusion.

And they're living longer.
It can only mean one thing ... but not sure what

yes these old dears are so silly that they have managed to arrange their world where they can come and go as they please and not charge around like a lunatic pretending they have important things to do...remarkable how they manage

Jesus Christ how long does it take to pay  for your shopping at the checkout??

agree with above posts about women, when all items have been scanned the checkout person says that will be £amount please, and OMG they look around with a look on their face of "OMG I have to pay???!!" and then it starts the rummaging around for the debit card in the bottomless handbag, first they forget where the handbag is so that takes at least 2 minutes to locate, once handbag is located, then then purse has to be located, this can take at least another 3 minutes, purse located, good, open purse and OMG! a wadful o vouchers fall out, half of these vouchers wont be valid as they have expired but each one will be scanned to check, this will take at least another 3-4 mins, all vouchers scanned, good, next located debit card in purse, this can take another minute as there will be several, next located the correct debit card, good, now insert card in machine, cashier presses button on till, and askes to enter pin, now have a blank look on face of whats my pin number now? key it like your 100% sure you are keying in the wrong number so slowly, pin number in good, now it will take a age to take card out, put it back in purse, put purse back in handbag print of receipt, done? good, now must have a little smiley chit chat with cahier this can take at least another 2 mins

What really should have taken 2 mins has taken at least 10 mins

Etiquette schmettiquette... it's survival in todays supermarket(why do you think it's called shopping wars ffs.

Actual LOL (well, audible s****) @ RD, marvellous stuff.

Jeepers, s**** rhymes with bigger.

Special One how come we know where their handbags are when they dont? Its ALWAYS at the bottom of the shopping trolley,under the weeks shopping.

Mar 16, 2015 -- 11:39AM, hectoratoratora wrote:

Special One how come we know where their handbags are when they dont? Its ALWAYS at the bottom of the shopping trolley,under the weeks shopping.

That's what I meant, the handbags always in the trolley and they pile the shopping on top

then when it comes for the tie to pay they have a OM panic attack and start searching frantically for the handbag, if they have kids with them then first the kids have to be shouted at to take it out on them for losing the handbag

Does anyone regularly use those scanning guns that you can pick up at the Supermarket entrance?

Scan your items as you put them in the trolley.
Simple pay at the end of your shop

Mar 16, 2015 -- 11:52AM, Poppydog. wrote:

Does anyone regularly use those scanning guns that you can pick up at the Supermarket entrance? Scan your items as you put them in the trolley. Simple pay at the end of your shop

How do they know if you didn't scan an item(s) ??

My missus has done a few times.

The last time, a couple of weeks back, she was selected for a random check which she said was a bit of a faff

How do they know if you didn't scan an item(s) ??

It is open to abuse but they carry out random checks from time to time

So 9 times out of 10 you can walk out with a trolley full of shopping ?

I have the solution to this problem, shop before 9.00 am, easy as chips.

Supermarkets are also home to "bores" as in pub bores but more harmless.They trap strangers in endless pointless conversations.
A true story.I had a  high street shop within the territory of a bore known a Phillipino Man.He was English with a Phillipino wife and was clearly starved of attention.He spent all day patrolling his patch hoping to trap unsuspecting shoppers and every conversation he had was always about the Phillipines.His favourite ice breaker was the weather .Typically a harmless "its hot/cold/wet/windy today isnt it?".When the victim responded he would say " but not as hot/cold/wet/windy as the Phillipines" and then he would be into his stride for 40 minutes to an hour, he used to ramble on relentlessly.One evening after locking the shop  the  high street was empty apart from Phillipino man and me.Just as im bracing myself for an ear bashing Phillipino man walks straight past me totally blanking me.Didnt know whether to laugh or cry.

We tried it once - a bit confusing and practice needed.

You have to scan a Clubcard to unlock the device, so they know who you are.

Throughout there was the 'worry' did we scan that item or did we just throw it in the trolley.

At the end a scanner op picked 6 random items out of the basket to check we had scanned them.
The other problem was we didn't pack as we went round.

You just scanned your card at the end. No queues and straight out.

With practice it would probably be a more sane way to shop.

Thin and Crispy
I have the solution to this problem, shop before 9.00 am, easy as chips

I have an easier solution, leave the shopping to the professionals ie the women.
My wife does all our shopping although I have occasionally stood in when she hasn't been well.
Got to say I hate it and never knew women could be so ignorant.

you gotta fit, mobile, mean, and very alert, especially at Aldi checkouts

'never knew women could be so ignorant.'

___________________

have you never driven a car ?

Shopping is a piece of piss and quite enjoyable with few other people around.  I've discovered you can get Doner Kebab meat Mmmmmmm.

I feel sorry for those blokes who get dragged around by their wives with a look of "kill me now" on their face.

A different strain of the same problem...when someone behind you has just say, 2 or 3 items and you have a trolley load on the belt. You are keeping the head down, doing your best to avoid eye contact when suddenly bam! they hit you with that the sad puppy eyes expression, gesturing at their few items, saying "Oh look I have 2 items..could I jump in front of you...puurrrleeese?" Fork off!

mememe • March 16, 2015 3:26 PM GMT
Tesco "Click & Collect" is the way forward, imo.

It's free, Mrs mememe sets up collection time a few days ahead and then, quite nonchalantly, it seems, adds stuff to her on-line basket during the next few days.

And when the appointed time arrives, (occasionally when the racing is crap) I drive with her to Tesco  and sit smugly in my car as the click & collect wallah loads the stuff in the car (all the stuff has already been picked and packed by some octogenarian drone in the middle of the night).

I never need to go in the shop, it's a free service, and I never see those unpleasant fat women in leggings with their unhealthy children.

Why bother going to fetch it when they'll deliver it to your house at anytime you want?

I am particularly puzzled by the self service tills in Morrisons that don't accept £2 coins, but give them out in the change.

Mar 16, 2015 -- 12:38PM, Coachbuster wrote:

'never knew women could be so ignorant.'___________________have you never driven a car ?

and yet they want equal rights and equality???

So when it suits them they want rights but OMG if they have kids and they are shopping or driving no man should ever ever appear on the road or shops to get in their way, if you do they will look at you like you have insulted their mother

When they open a new checkoot hingmy there is no established etiquette...customers must join the new queue at their own discretion.

In essence, it can be considered as a SUPERMARKET EVENT HORIZON...

The only problem with self service (in Ireland) is that when you buy alcohol, it wont let you proceed with checking-out until your item has been validated by a customer service individual. This usually means me waiting at my self service till, looking like a desperate alcoholic with said bottle in hand, until a spotty kid comes along to validate my item and I can continue.

People turning up at the self-service with a trolley or an overflowing basket is what pisses me off.

People turning up at the self-service with a trolley or an overflowing basket is what pisses me off.

Agreed.

If you lot weren't so miserable you'd get your wife, girlfriend or boyfriend to do your shopping for you, while you stay at home, or wait in the car.

Classic Fred Well done to all involved

good thread, what pisses me off is when people dont have their payment method ready, when that happens I feel like I want to kill someone

My habit is to go early on Sunday morning, before the tills are open, and hit the tills at 10:00.

What I've learned to watch out for is the supercilious, self righteous tw@t who was at the till before me on three occasions.

Don't know what the heck he and the checkout girl are gassing about, but they're determined to drag it out as long as possible.
She is incapable of talking and scanning, so after each item there is a long pause before another one goes down.

He has three or four stiff sided bags, and her slowness suits him, as he has to be the worlds slowest packer, whilst he deliberates into which
bag to put things.

Then the bags go in the trolley, with military precision, as a pre-cursor to faffing around in his wallet, and then for her to shut up and
tell him the cost.

Then the gassing continues, with my failed attempt to crowd his space with my trolley, suggesting that maybe he should just fek off!

You lot would have enjoyed checkout etiquette at the branch of Spar I used when I was working in W Germany in the 1980s.

You handed the money to the cashier with a "Bitte schoen," to which she replied "Danke schoen," and accompanied your change with her own "Bitte schoen," to which you must reply "Danke schoen," which triggered a further "Bitte schoen" from the cashier.

You'd look behind you and see a queue stretching back to the deli counter(*) and consider that theoretically you could still be having this conversation 30 years later.

(*) It was the world's Wurst.

I was arrested in W Germany when I went into a newsagent's and demanded to see the owner's papers.

^^^ very civilized, the British are the most charmless lot.

Things in Germany are very inefficient and they have no entrepreneurs, thank goodness.

1. Never, ever go supermarket shopping with women.
2. Buy most of your groceries online and get it delivered. Twice a month is enough if you plan ahead and have a decent sized freezer.
3. For anything else, there's Aldi/Lidl.
4. Go in the morning, between 9 and 10 is best - the trackies are still in their scratchers.

I have a 5th rule, but it's purely personal.
I have never and will never use a self-service checkout.

^ Can be daunting for the technophobe

Yeah early morning shopping is good but that goes back to my original complaint (in Ireland)...you can not purchase alcohol before 10am. Which then calls for 2 shopping trips, one for groceries and the other for alcohol at a later time in the day.

Happy St Patricks day btw

I dislike when the cashier comments on your groceries.
If I want to buy a basket full of sweets and sh!t, then that's my business.

"Oh, having a party?"

i blame dale winton.

I dislike when the cashier comments on your groceries.
If I want to buy a basket full of sweets and sh!t, then that's my business.

"Oh, having a party?" Plain

pop a box of tampons in,that usually curtails the conversation.

BARROWBOY    17 Mar 15 12:15 
i blame dale winton.

When you're at the checkout and you here the beep..think of the fun you could be having on....

Classic Unemployed 90s Tv

hear* No wonder I was unemployable

Another reason why I prefer self service (after 10am) is that you don't get 'helped' by one of those charity bag packers. They dont help, they get in the way then you have to tip them afterwards.

What a bunch of miserable bastards. Go back to the old days before supermarkets, and traipse around all day to lots of different shops instead.

you tell 'em grammar 

And risk doing a 2 year stretch for scrumping apples

Spot on spelling. Women today have got it easy.

Supermarkets should introduce a men-only day once a week.  The money they save through increased efficiency could then be spent on topless cashier girls. 

Everyone's a winner.

that's a bonzer idea Poker

I find it particularly irritating when, following the obligatory chat about some old bollocks, they then decide something is missing and waddle off back down the aisles to fetch it.

Many is the time I have only trollied about two-thirds of my shopping but, upon spying an empty checkout, thought "fúck it, I'll eat down the pub for three days"  That's what blokes do, we're more considerate.

People who put loads of change into the self-service, hunting around in handbags, pockets, purses, and come up short of the amount needed.  Then they start looking for a debit card or notes.

That's what blokes do, we're more considerate
_________________

wait until you get stuck behind some old bint with a months worth of coupons cut out from magazines   

that's when i walk out

what I cant stand in swondering which ones to choose upermarkets is dopey ****s who block up a whole ailse with a trolley stuck sideways while they are gazing at fooking products in a trace like state contemplating which one to choose ,then looking at you as though you are from another planet when you knock your trolley into theirs to move it out of the way so you can pass ,then ther are the other fecking idiots(women ) who after queing up for ages in front of you on the checkout till start engaging the checkout girl in small talk about the fookin weather or fecking x factor or some other life changing issues and that takes up more feckin time then too cap it all the checkout girl says that will be £77.84 please and the dopey b,stard starts rifeling through her shopping bag then her fookin handbag looking for her purse  with her credit card in ! "you have been queing for 15 mins love" HAVE IT TOO HAND YOU DOPEY **** "

Pokermonster    17 Mar 15 15:37 
Supermarkets should introduce a men-only day once a week.  The money they save through increased efficiency could then be spent on topless cashier girls.

Everyone's a winner.



Great idea Poker,  at my local sainbury's all the cashiers are over sixty
Any other bright ideas

I always think that most of the people who use those scanning guns are likely to be thieves who will deliberately miss out scanning certain items.

I used them a couple of times, but the thought of forgetting to scan an item and then having to go back to the store after discovering my mistake when I got home,  put me off using them completely.

Some girls stole your heart
Like most girls do
But a Sainsbury girl she could break it in two
And I fell in love, I fell in love
I fell in love, yeah
I fell in love, with a Sainsbury girl

The scenes at Batley Costcutter yesterday following one gentleman's request to the lady in front to hurry up if at all possible

You lot must all be a load of ugly feckers..... I have an altogether pleasant experience every time I venture out to our local Asda.

Women are always kind & pleasant towards me, and I lose count of the number of heart warming smiles that I receive from fair maidens.

I suppose the fact that I am wonderfully charming and extremely handsome helps.

^ Who's Guide Dog are you?

Keeping him sweet in the hope he can help them win at bingo.

Yes, I've noticed Asda store girls giving elderly folk special treatment.

I have an altogether pleasant experience every time I venture out to our local Asda.

Women are always kind & pleasant towards me, and I lose count of the number of heart warming smiles that I receive from fair maidens.

I suppose the fact that I am wonderfully charming and extremely handsome helps.

or is it because it's part of their written contract to help the more vulnerable customers

mecca is confusing kindness with pity.

One big fat queue in the middle at Mcdonalds....all other manned tills EMPTY .....WHAT THE F....k is that all about???

Can't believe McDonalds haven't ever instigated a proper queueing system in this country.  need to put up some stainless steel barriers to guide people toward individual tills instead of just one long vague queue in the middle sometimes then join an individual till when free or people queue up naturally for individual tills.  This is Maccy Dees for ffs people need to be told how to queue.

Its need the ........


"Cashier number 4 please...." woman

Stainless steel barriers inside McDonald's would deter many of their mobility-scooter customers.

It would just send them to the drive thru