IF THERES A WAR AND YOUVE GOT A MORGAUGE ON YOUR HOUSE

YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAVE A QUITE WORD WITH SOMEONE ABOUT WHERE YOUR GOING TO LIVE ,AND WHERE YOUR GOING TO GET YOUR MORGAUGE REPAYMENTS FROM FOR YOUR BOMBED OUT HOUSE

ITS NO GOOD ASKING WHEN ITS TOO LATE ,GET FIRST IN LINE AT THE CITIZENS ADVICE BUREUX

where will the bank send the demands for your mortgage

you wont have a letter box

Donny BELIEVE ME THEY WILL FIND YOU IF YOU OWE THEM MONEY

AND ITS NO GOOD SAYING ALL YOUR MONEY WAS UNDER THE BED IN THE HOUSE THAT GOT BOMBED

AND ITS NO GOOD SAYING YOUR POORLY IN HOSPITAL,THEY WILL JUST SAY SO IS MOST OTHER PEOPLE PAY UP

ITS NO GOOD EXPECTING A HANDOUT FROM THE BENEFITS OFFICE ,THEY WONT HAVE ANY SPARE MONEY AFTER THEVE PAYED ALL THE FOREIGNERS THERE BENEFITS WERE FIGHTING AGAINST WHO LIVE HERE

ITS NO GOOD EXPECTING A HANDOUT FROM THE BENEFITS OFFICE ,THEY WONT HAVE ANY SPARE MONEY AFTER THEVE PAYED ALL THE FOREIGNERS THERE BENEFITS WERE FIGHTING AGAINST WHO LIVE HERE

WHEN ENGLAND PLAY A FOREIGN NATION AT WEMBLY WERE THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT HAS MORE AWAY FANS THAN HOME FANS

What if you have insurance? Wont they rebuild your house?

No YOUR NOT COVERED IN THE EVENT OF WAR

IF YOU SEE ANY PLANES COMEING OVER GO A FEW MILES AWAY FROM YOUR HOUSE AND SHINE A TORCH AT THE SKY AND HOPE THE PLANE DROPS ITS BOMB LOAD THERE

Does that include Civil War?

Im NOT TO SURE ABOUT THAT,YOU WILL HAVE TI READ YOUR POLICY

MINE SAYS I HAVE TO PAY THE FIRST 1000 POUND IF THE CONFEDERATES ATTACK OUR PROPERTY AND 2000 POUNDS IF THE YANKEE DOODLES ATTACK OUR PROPERTY IF THERES A CIVIL WAR

BUT QE GET A 5% DISCOUNT IF WE FIT CHUBB LOCKS ON ALL DOORS

Well I advise you to tell your Maam to call Chubb.

I WiLL GOOD NIGHT

Good Night

for those of a nervous disposition this thread is not reality and no part of the UK is at war ..

well not at the moment

I've paid a polish bloke to spend all night shining a torch in a field four miles away as a precaution.
Good advise doo wah.

the lessons from this story is

1. Rent don't buy
2. Never pay for insurance unless legally obligated

I DONT KNOW HOW YOU WOULD STAND IF A LONE FANATIC BLEW UP YOUR HOUSE,YOU NEED TO GO TO THE CITIZENS ADVICE BUREAUX FOR ADVICE

AND WHILE YOUR THERE ASK THEM ARE THE DRAINS IN YOUR GARDEN COVERED IF A BOMB FALLS ON THEM

DONT TRY AND BLAME IT ON TREE DAMAGE THE INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE WISE TO THAT EXCUSE

DONT GO TO THE CITIZENS ADVICE CENTER OVER DEBT AS THERES A 4 YEAR WAITING LIST

hand the house keys back to the bank and tell them to keep it

If you live in a semi and the next door gets destroyed will your house then be d'état he'd and worth more??

Detached.

EMDEN YOU CANT JUST GIVE THE HOUSE BACK,YOUR STILL ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR MORGUAGE UNTILL ALL THE MONEY HAS BEEN REPAID ,IF YOUR HOUSE GETS REPOSSESED AND IT DOESNT BRING THE PRICE WHEN SOLD THAT YOU OWE ,THEY CAN TAKE YOU TO COURT TO GET THE REST ,

IVE GOT A FRIEND WHOS VERY HIGH UP IN THE INSURANCE INDUSTRY AND HE SAID EVER SINCE I WROTE THIS THREAD ,HIS PHONE HAS NEVER STOPPED RINGING,I SAID WHAT WITH PEOPLE ASKING FOR  BOMB INSURANCE QUOTES,HE SAID NO YELLOW PAGES HAVE GOT HIS PHONE NUMBER MIXED  UP WITH THE BENEFITS OFFICE

GOOD MORNING ME OLD MUCKER DO WAH !!

YOU CAN PAY A BIT OF EXTRA PREMIUM FOR WAR COVER
BUT IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THE WIFE OR MOTHER-IN-LAW
WARS !!
THERE IS A NUCLEAR BOMB PROOF BUNKER UP FOR SALE
IF YOU ARE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THIS .

I TOOK THE PRECAUTION OF PUTTING AN ANTI-AMERICAN
BANNER ON MY ROOF.
THIS GIVES ME FULL PROTECTION AS THE YANKS BOMB AIMING
IS NOTORIOUSLY BAD - AND THEY NEVER HIT THE THINGS THEY AIM AT .
SO I FEEL SAFE.

JuST FANCY PAYING FOR A NUCLEAR BUNKER,AND THEN A BURGLER PINCHES ALL YOUR TINNED FOOD

YOUD NEED TO WRITE DOWN ALL YOUR REQUIREMENTS ITS NO GOOD HAVEING A TOASTER WITH NO BREAD ,YOU CANT SAY TO YOUR WIFE JUST NIP OUT FOR A LOAF OF BREAD ,I FORGOT TO PUT IT ON THE LIST

Im SURE THERE WOULD BE LOADS OF DEVORCES ,CRAMPED UP IN A BUNKER WITH YOUR WIFE ALL DAY,IM SURE THEIR WOULD BE MANY SUICIDES AS WELL

EVEN THE COUPLES THAT LOVE EACH OTHER WOULD SURELY GET FED UP OF EACH OTHER IF THE WAR LASTED OVER A WEEK

I STAY IN BED AWAY FROM MY MAM MOST OF THE TIME AS IT IS,AND WEVE NOT OFFICIALLY DECLARED WAR

JUST BECAUSE I LOVE HER DONT MEANS TO SAY I WANT TO SEE HER