If forumites ran the UK ..........

true dat innit

It's frightening enough that in 17 weeks time, forumites get to vote on who runs the UK.

I'd ban boob jobs.

I'd make all high street betting shops TAB's, preferably government owned with say a 14% - 15% rake and have independent bookies on course only as is the case in Australia. I'd also ban fobt's from everywhere. Massive increases in prize money and entrance fees to tracks a quarter of what they are now and for run of the mill midweek meetings no admission charge at all.

Drink-driving - 4 year ban and your car crushed

Drink-driving - 4 year ban and your head crushed

texting while driving - 6 points on licence

no fees to attend university

abolish the monarchy

re-introduce standing sections at football grounds

I'd abolish overseas aid and divide between British charities

I'd abolish overseas aid.


And nothing.

I'd get forced to resign for fiddling expense claims

Have you got a Stradivarius?

Jan 6, 2015 -- 10:31PM, The Leopard wrote:

Have you got a Stradivarius?

Is this one of the chat up lines you picked up from the undatables last night?

Didn't watch it....spot anyone you fancy?

I'd bulldoze all Mosques and make it illegal to practice the Muslim faith in Britain .

Lampus for PM

I'd stop wasting money on prisons- anyone sent down for a year + I'd export  to Africa and pay (Say) Egypt to imprison  them - cheaper than paying  benefits and very much more effective than current system.

I'd make Mrs CMAT Chief of Immigration for the whole of the UK.

Then stop all immigration.

Make Mrs CMAT redundant and give her a £2.5 million tax free redundancy settlement.

Then I'd resign, as I won't give a fack who runs the country after that.

Compulsory gym attendance for fat women.

Put a 3000% tax on junk foods.

Smokers have to pay for NHs treatments.

id kickout every  islamic fundamentalist in this country, and them  mosques would be knock down .they would fook off then !.

ooooohhhh you grumpy old bugger

Whilst the Muslim workers get time off for Friday prayers.
Any atheist workers can go to pub and drink till the Muslims get back to work.

Countdown would be forced to move to 9pm and the Doris doing the maths would be topless.

tree you are just a dirty perv

Many would benefit from that.
I'd rather fiddle with her than fiddle expenses.

Money Tree cost me thousands!!    07 Jan 15 17:14 
Smokers have to pay for NHs treatments.

Fack off.

Smokers pay more tax than non-smokers.

Smokers pay more tax than non-smokers.

Smokers also save the country a fortune on pensions and NHS care by dying early.

chancellor....money tree
old bailey judge....shrewd lewd
education minister....DOO WAH
foreign minister....cMAT

I'm not foreign.

Other than to SOAP

Is that an acronym?

No, he thinks you don't wash much

Used to be a banning word, that.

What, wash?

with some of the tw@ts that post on here we'd be more f***ed than what we already are

As culture secretary I would ban all Soaps.  I know you will all suffer withdrawal systems, but once you are cleansed you will feel better.
After all I know what is best for you.

I'd bring back Til Death Us Do Part

been watching it on youtube- brilliant

secret squirrel could do something in the 'cabinet'

As long as it's not in the whisky decanter !

As the government own a few bank any ministers should get their mortgage for free.

As in no repayments required whilst serving as a minister but the monthy amount taken from balance each month.

An interesting proposition. As absolute dictator I would appoint the following officials to run the country.

Dr Crippen, head of judiciary with responsibility for appointing a team of executioners.

Dr Slicer, head of religious studies and chief inquisitor with responsibility for creating a new religion to keep you all in check

Tommy Toes, chief sommelier in charge of wine stocks.

Northern Lad, Chief eunuch responsible for rounding up virgins for the harem.

Kennyman, trainer of large felines, responsible for supplying fit and lean lions and tigers for special events.